Is it really July 1st??
1:04AM on July 01, 2009
You know I have to say it truly amazes me how fast time passes. They warned me when I was younger not to wish my life away to cherish the days and enjoy life. Though it seems the more I heard that the harder I wished and now it seems like I blink and miss months at a time. Life seemed so easy then. No bills, no major responsibilities, doing what you want whenever. These early times in the roller coaster of life are the point of the coaster going up hill. It isnt until you reach the top of that hill that the coaster throws you into steep drops, many repeated loops, and all those crazy cork screws, that you can not see coming. Then it makes you wonder damn, where did it all go. The loops and cork screws make us loose track, pace, sense of direction and they dont happen or turn out as we planned and then we begin to wonder, damn where did it go wrong. But the simple fact is everything happens for a reason. The rhyme and reason we may never find out but continuing to question why is not going to get us anywhere. Its most important to just keep moving on the ride.
With the economy at its breaking point, having a job that pays well is a benefit. But when you are continually called upon because you are the expert, it can begin to be too much. I have not been very active here for about the last year. In December I had some things going on but that doesn't make up for the time I have missed. The last, almost 3 months, I have been quite far from here. The end of March was amazing but, I had what I consider to be a tragedy in my life and dealt with one of the hardest things I have ever had to during the first weeks of April. Since about the 15th of April, I have only had about 6 days off, 3 days that were together when I took a trip to Pittsburgh the beginning of June. I miss RUDE so much. I have really missed out on things not only in these last several months but def in this last year. I am trying to change this as I write. Not only on RUDE but in my personal life as well. My health has not been the greatest and it is time to take time for me and do what I want to do.
I have come to realize that I am a people pleaser, and I will do anything to make someone happy. I have learned that I will never be able to please everyone so I need to make things good on my part. Screw the rest of the world....right?? As I embark further into this wonderful roller coaster of life, I take the past as a learning expierence, vowing to never question or make the same mistakes twice. I enjoy my present as if today were my last, embracing it and making the most of it because everything happens for a reason. And I reach to the future unknowing of what it will bring but not worrying or stressing about it either because its not going to make it any better.
Now that I have written too much lol...I just want everyone to know: I miss you, I've thought about you, and in Michael Jackson's words (RIP) "You Aint Seen Nothin Yet." Im coming full force maybe not immediately but keep an eye out cause im ready. Peace, Love, and Respect to Everyone! Hope youre all well!
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