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LAUGH A LITTLE :)
9:50AM on February 25, 2009
A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this
huge black guy standing next to him.
The big guy sees the little guy staring at him, looks down, and says: '7
feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch private, 3 pound testicles, Turner Brown.'
The white man faints and falls to the floor.
The big guy kneels down and brings him to, shaking him.
The big guy says: 'What's wrong with you?'
In a weak voice the little guy says, 'What EXACTLY did you say to me?'
The big dude says:
'I saw your curious look
and figured I'd just give you the answers
to the questions everyone always asks me.
I'm 7 feet tall, I weigh 350 pounds,
I have a 20 inch private,
my testicles weigh 3 pounds each,
and my name is Turner Brown.'
The small guy says:
'Turner Brown, Sweet Jesus,
I thought you said, 'Turn around.
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Seymo... |
May 12, 2009 (Report It)
lmao, cant believe I missed one of your blogs! glad I read it finally, thanks for the laugh! |
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BOOK-A-DATE WITH MOI (PRIVATE)
7:25AM on December 28, 2008
Check out my page under the (The Private Live Shows) section is the option to BOOK-A-DATE with me.So check it out to see the date and time im available for shows if interested.Thanks
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yourd... |
January 05, 2009 (Report It)
Yeah I most definitely have to take your fine ass pvt! |
sw33t... |
January 04, 2009 (Report It)
Did ont and will be going pvt with you in the futur bby |
sexyb... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
Only you my sweetie Hiney muah i enjoyed it alot also u silly :) |
Tease... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
I booked one, got one, and almost died from one!
lol ;D |
Seymo... |
January 02, 2009 (Report It)
I booked one, got one, and almost died from one! SexyBabyMomma took my private show virginity and I am so glad she did! what a sweetheart, she was gentle with me! she gave me TLC (tushy loving care)! she made me feel so special and awesome, she is a goddess! She made me wanna jump through the screen and smooch her all over from head to toe! Thanks Baby for the most amazing show ever! Thanks for being my last kiss of '08 and first kiss of '09! Hiney Hugs and Tushy Kisses! |
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FOR THE NEW YEAR 09
3:56PM on December 14, 2008
Well, 08 is almost done and making way for 09 now its time to do better and brighter things so what is your new year Resolution i would like to know. So get at me and share..sharing is caring :) muahhhhh
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sexyb... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
hehehe see u survived it mr hiney baby |
Seymo... |
December 31, 2008 (Report It)
I'll get back with you on this one after I survive my private show without having a hiney heart attack! I can't take anything for granted when a tushy like that is staring at me! at least I know if I do die I won't go to heaven I'll go to Hiney Heaven! |
sw33t... |
December 14, 2008 (Report It)
Have good health....make more money...get with ya....lol and live happily ever after lol |
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ALL I WANT FOR XMAS IS.........
3:53PM on December 14, 2008
Let me know what ya'll want for xmas :)
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lilma... |
January 09, 2009 (Report It)
Id like U to be my Valentine |
sexyb... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
I love you guys, such sweethearts |
marco... |
January 01, 2009 (Report It)
hummm let me think me tasting u is what i want |
Seymo... |
December 31, 2008 (Report It)
well, since I can't have you, how about a clone of you? then I can smother you in smooches all over that face, those boobies, that tummy, that cookie, and of course those sugartushy hineybuns! |
MrBigE20 |
December 15, 2008 (Report It)
I think you know. ;)
Also, some peace of mind would be great. |
sw33t... |
December 14, 2008 (Report It)
You |
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This is for ma ladies!!!!
4:05AM on December 01, 2008
For all those men who say, Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free. Here's an update for you: Now days, 80% of women are against marriage, WHY? Because women realize it's not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.
1. Men are like . Laxatives .... They irritate the crap out of you.
2. Men are like. Bananas . The older they get, the less firm they are.
3. Men are like Weather . Nothing can be done to change them.
4. Men are like . Blenders You need One, but you're not quite sure why.
5. Men are like . Chocolate Bars ... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.
6. Men are like . Commercials ..... You can't believe a word they say.
7. Men are like Department Stores ... Their clothes are always 1/2 off!
8. Men are like . Government Bonds .... They take soooooooo long to mature.
9. Men are like . Mascara . They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
10. Men are like Popcorn . They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
11. Men are like Snowstorms .... You never know when they're coming, how many inches
you'll get or how long it will last.
12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps .. Fun to look at, but not very bright.
13. Men are like Parking Spots All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped .
This to all the remarkable women out there, as well as any understanding good-natured, fun kinda guys you might be lucky enough to know !!!!!!!!!!
You Got Served!
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sexyb... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
hehehe |
Seymo... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
ouch, but so true! damn we are fools! lol |
MzBoo... |
December 25, 2008 (Report It)
Damn that was sooooo good and soooooo true. I love #13....ROFL |
sw33t... |
December 14, 2008 (Report It)
Damn thats so tru |
marco... |
December 14, 2008 (Report It)
u right bb u r rite u r so rite thats how we r lol |
MsHon... |
December 13, 2008 (Report It)
Hahaha...got that right |
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Seven Kinds Of Sex ..lol
3:54AM on December 01, 2008
The 1st kind of sex is called ... Smurf Sex.
This kind of sex happens when you first meet
Someone and you both have sex until you are
Blue in the face.
The 2nd kind of sex is called ... Kitchen Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for
A short time and you are so needy you will have
Sex anywhere, even in the kitchen.
The 3rd kind of sex is called ... Bedroom Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for a
Long time. Your sex has gotten routine and you
Usually have sex only in your bedroom.
The 4th kind of sex is called ... Hallway Sex.
This is when you have been with your partner for too
Long. When you pass each other in the hallway you
Both say .... 'F*%k You.'
The 5th kind of sex is called ... Religious Sex.
Which means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the
Afternoon and Nun at night. (Very Popular)
The 6th kind is called ... Courtroom Sex.
This is when you cannot stand your wife any more. She
Takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.
And .. Last ... But not least ...
The 7th kind of sex is called ... Social Security Sex.
You get a little each month. But not enough to enjoy your self.
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sexyb... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
I know im a little crazy but m sure it made ya laugh lol thats what lfe is about laughter muah |
Seymo... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
funny stuffy you bad girl, love it! |
sw33t... |
December 14, 2008 (Report It)
Lmao u crazy i tell ya |
marco... |
December 14, 2008 (Report It)
lol bb ur silly i love this blog great post |
MrBigE20 |
December 01, 2008 (Report It)
Hahaha, smurf sex. I gotta use that line somewhere. :P |
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26 WAYS TO MAKE A GIRL SMILE
10:00AM on October 01, 2008
1. Tell her she is beautiful...not hot!
2. Hold her hand at any moment . . . even if its just for a second.
3. Hug her from behind
4. Leave her voice messages to wake up to.
5. When she is upset, hold her tight and tell her how much she means to you.
6. Recognize the small things . . . they usually mean the most.
7. If youre talking to another girl, when your done talking, walk over and hug her and kiss her....let her know she's yours and they arent.
8. Write her notes or call her just to say "hi"
9. Introduce her to your friends . . . as your girl.
10. Play with her hair.(except if she spent alot of time curling it)
11. Pick her up (she loves it)
12. Get upset if another guy touches her and she doesnt like it
13. Make her laugh
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms.
15. If she's mad at you, kiss her.
16. If you care about her, then (we all know this is a challenge) TELL HER
17. Every guy should give their girl 3 things: a stuffed animal(she'll hug it everytime she goes to sleep), jewlery(will treasure it forever), and one of his t-shirts (she'll most likely where it to bed) and don't forget to bring her flowers or something special once in a while.
18. Treat her the same around your friends as you do when your alone.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile.
20. Hang out with her on weekends
21.Kiss her in the rain (girls love this)
22.Kiss her just for the heck of it
23. If your listening to music, let her listen too.
24. Remember her birthday and get her something, even if its simple and inexpensive, it came from YOU. it means all the world to HER.
25. when she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas, or just when ever, take it and tell her you love it, even if you don't (itll make her happy.)
26. Always call her when you say you will, it may not seem like it, but it does hurt her and makes her thinks you don't care so call even if you can only talk for a minute
*Ok now fellas its not that hard try it, it may work lol
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sexyb... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
Awww seymore muah |
Seymo... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
hopefully someday I can get the chance to do all this and then some for you babygirl! |
sw33t... |
December 14, 2008 (Report It)
Get at me baby i can show u how i do |
marco... |
December 14, 2008 (Report It)
when i meet a lady this is what i do all the time thats just how i was raise 2 treat a lady just like all the things. thats just me i love 2 show off my lady and take her place and buy things 4 her and some dude may say im wiped but thats how u should just treat ur lady |
cumge... |
December 02, 2008 (Report It)
All of this is true Fellas
#6 is the one for me always
but take note fellaz this is how u keep a real woman |
amand... |
October 17, 2008 (Report It)
Hold on...but you always smile when stick out my tongue ;) |
BO_JA... |
October 13, 2008 (Report It)
just wanted to show some rude luv. |
MrBigE20 |
October 03, 2008 (Report It)
:) I'll keep this in mind. |
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FETISHES
12:11AM on September 02, 2008
I would like to know what are some of the fetishes that people have so please let me know by leaving a comment.
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sw33t... |
January 04, 2009 (Report It)
To lick you all day all night |
sexyb... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
Mines is to dress in different custumes i love dressing up in different custumes and wearing them for you guys |
sexyb... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
:) |
Seymo... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
you know mine and you didn't even make fun of me! thanks for makin me feel so special! |
amand... |
September 07, 2008 (Report It)
If i had to say if i had any fetish. It would have to be exhibitionism for me. I love being watched. Then I love me some titties too. |
acebo... |
September 06, 2008 (Report It)
i like women with pretty feet. |
MrBigE20 |
September 04, 2008 (Report It)
I have something for women busting out of clothes. Also have a little something for women with muscle as well. Don't really have much outside of that. |
Nuttc... |
September 02, 2008 (Report It)
MAYBE U PISSING ON ME |
Nuttc... |
September 02, 2008 (Report It)
you already Know, but if u forgot its u LMFAO |
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WOMEN ARE LIKE APPLES
7:18AM on September 01, 2008
Women are like apples on trees.
The best ones are at the top of the tree.
The men dont want to reach for the good ones
because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples from the ground
that aren't as good,
but easy.
So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing.
They just have to wait for the right man to be brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree. Most of us are still waiting on that brave man to come along, but some day he will!
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sw33t... |
January 04, 2009 (Report It)
Beautiful |
sexyb... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
Glad ya'll liked it |
Seymo... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
I'll climb the tree for your apple shiny hiney tushybuns but when I fall you gotta take care of me and nurse me back to health so I can smother you in smooches and give you the tender love and care that a queen like you deserves! |
MrBigE20 |
September 17, 2008 (Report It)
Very nice. |
Tease... |
September 06, 2008 (Report It)
excellent! |
Nuttc... |
September 02, 2008 (Report It)
i WOULD CLIAM THA TREE TO GET U |
MISS_... |
September 01, 2008 (Report It)
this is so beautiful....i like it alot...thanks i needed to hear this |
yourd... |
September 01, 2008 (Report It)
That was very beautiful and inspiring... I'll keep waiting. thanks for the pick-me-up |
amand... |
September 01, 2008 (Report It)
I don't got such a sexy apple booty you just gonna fall the tree as stare there get knocked the hell out as u fall lol. that climb that tree and fell the hell down. what ever the pain u worth it. |
Darli... |
September 01, 2008 (Report It)
I like this.. interesting way to look at things but it makes sense. |
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ONE FLAW IN WOMEN
7:13AM on September 01, 2008
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
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Seymo... |
January 04, 2009 (Report It)
the only flaw in SexyBabyMomma is her location, her sugartushy hineybuns are in Canada not in my lap! |
sw33t... |
January 04, 2009 (Report It)
Love this bby just like u r |
sexyb... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
Yes it is i love it wish all women would read it |
yourd... |
September 01, 2008 (Report It)
BEAUTIFUL!!!!
*applause* i am so favoriting this blog sweetie!!! Dream |
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LOVE POEMS
4:44PM on August 12, 2008
Women's Love Poem...
Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep,
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long,
One who thinks before he speaks,
One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed,
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.
Pulls out my chair and opens my door,
Massages my back and begs to do more.
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?' I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend.
Men's Love Poem...
I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and hunting. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit
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sw33t... |
January 04, 2009 (Report It)
lmao too funny |
sexyb... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
Hehehehe |
Seymo... |
January 03, 2009 (Report It)
I'll write ya a sweet poem someday, I gotta get my creative juices flowin! |
locot... |
August 23, 2008 (Report It)
funny shit lol but i write better poems that dude....lol |
MrBigE20 |
August 23, 2008 (Report It)
Hahaha, nice poem. ;) |
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