When keepin it REAL goes wrong...
2:38PM on August 24, 2009




Soooo, I was in a groupshow today, now you know I won´t say no names, but let´s just say: This person is famous for "Keeping it OH SO REAL"....

What happened was: I went in there to say hi and click the stars, hang out with my fellow Rudians and have a good time. Instead of that, I got ignored the fuck out of...
"Well"  I thought "fine with me"... So I leaned back and enjoyed the show as an Embed.

Only to hear this person, who also didn´t mention any names, but it was clear this person talked about me, call me a "fake ass bitch who runs and talks shit behind their back, so that she gets people calling them, who have to tell them about it".

Now, my natural reaction was to send this person Rudemail asking what the hell is going on.
Up to THIS point, I did not receive any statement about what had happened, instead I got a "Please don´t send me mail on Rude anymore, write me on yahoo, or I will have to block you".

NOW THAT`S REAL!! Isn´t it?

Is it cause you know you can´t send mails without cussing people out who come at you in a correct manner? Is it cause you´re scared you might get reported if this goes over Rudemail?
Well guess what: It´s a Rude-related issue, so if you can´t solve it with me over Rudemail, you´re not a tiny bit REAL.

I would say: If you can´t come and talk TO someone, if you have to talk ABOUT someone publicly when that person isn´t around... Keeping it REAL went wrong big time!!

Forget him
5:54AM on June 14, 2009

She came out of the rain, wet to her bones,
her eyes asked: Could you take me home with you?
It was so simple to tell how much he had hurt her...
And I thought: "My god, forget him, baby, just leave him!"

Talked for hours, hardly said anything,
we fell asleep, no signs of regret.
Silently she got dressed and I whispered:
"My god, forget him, baby, just leave him"

Girl out of the rain, Girl with the pearls in your hair,
you´re so beautiful... I know I can´t hold you,
can´t keep you from going back to him...
It´s where U belong... so I let you go.

She left into the rain, never looked back,
left into the night, not even whispered goodbye...
I knew she was going back to him and I screamed from the top of my lungs:
"MY GOD, FORGET HIM, BABY, JUST LEAVE HIM!"
.... "please stay....."

Security
11:07AM on May 24, 2009

Tell me that this place is secure
and that everything good stands still here.
Tell me that what you promise me today
you will still keep tomorrow.

This world is fast paced and
forgot how to be steady.
Temptations everywhere you look.
Please swear that, when I get to you,
everything will be the same.

Just give me a little security
in a world where nothing seems certain.
Give me something that stays.
Take some of my pace.

Love letter
11:00AM on May 24, 2009

Cause all the lovers are still a child inside
And cause those, who follow their heart
are our real heroes,
I wanna save the world with your love in me
Cause I am there for you
... no, I am here thanks to you!
Cause you could keep the ability to love
and the strength to forgive, I was awoken
And whatever was sleeping deep inside of me
is now leading my feather and is writing you this love letter.


I fell into the water and something pulled me down
I guess I would´ve drowned if I hadn´t found you.

You reanimated me and now I am hungry for life.

Please feed me with experience,

every word from you is essential.

I seem to feed you, too,

almost like you can´t be without me

you look at me, but I can´t promise,

don´t wanna cheat, while you tell me with a smile

that the here and now is enough to live of.

You´re like the oil for my machinery of thoughts

and I wanna take you to a flight through the night....


Put your arms around me, so the scar on my heart

finally stops hurting.

If you´d ask me "Why did I have to win you over"

I would reply:

Even though we´re apart, our love is like the howling of a wolf

towards the moon that connects us,

he knows everything about me, also that you´re not with me´.

You feel millions of miles away these lines I am writing for only you

I am wearing my heart openly,

so everybody can see.

I can only hope that you read this letter

and understand that in each other´s eyes we can see ourselves

A white piece of paper
10:57AM on May 24, 2009

The sun goes down
Silence comes, the noises of the day fade away
Everything becomes clear now:
All I need is you.

The atmosphere relaxes,
what happened?
I just don´t understand...
Dry and empty....
I miss you so much, but let´s see what tomorrow brings.

How can it be that comfort just goes away?
Somehow nothing is in place anymore...
Who flipped the world upside down??
I never thought this´d happen, I hadn´t planned it.
It just ran me over and changed everything...

And here comes the night:
Pitchblack, covers all the questions.
A white piece of paper, empty, just gets thrown away.


What may not be, never can and never WILL be,
simple really and yet so hard to understand.
Rational thinking? No way!
There was a concept, but
it only works if today things are still like they were 2 days ago...


How can it be that luck just turns its back on you
and refuses to show you a solution?
Can we replay the scene just one more time?
Everything will be alright...
Courage is all we need...
Now go to sleep, my love,
I will be right there with you.

If this is love
12:44PM on March 15, 2009

I fell asleep under tears,
the same way I woke up again.
I thought about the same fucking question 2 Million times! 
I tossed and turned over the same fuckig problem,
it´s over to you, but I... I can see you!

Can´t sleep, can´t eat, 
I can´t understand it, 
you forgot about me, while memories freeze me.
I´m afraid of the evenings, scared of the nights, 
cause this one same question keeps me up,
WHY, why are you not here?


I dialed your number 1000 times and hung up 1000 times.
Can´t talk to noone about this Bullshit,
nobody would understand how much I miss you.
That´s exactly what brings all the other stress.
Sadly I can´t drink enough to finally forget you...



If this is love, then why won´t it let me sleep?
If this is love, then why is it using up my strength? 
If this is love, then tell me what it does to me!
If this is love.... then what is hate?

The best
12:31PM on March 15, 2009

I found a treasure and it holds your name,
So beautiful and precious that no money in this world could pay for it. 
You fall asleep beside me, I could watch you all night long;
watch you sleep and hear you breathe until we wake up the next morning. 

Once again you managed to take my breath away!
When you lay nextto me, I can´t believe that someone like me
deserves something as wonderful as you... 

You´re the best thing that ever happened to me!
It feels so good how you love me 
I forget everything around me when you´re near 


You laughter is addictive
almost like it´s not from this world.
If your presence would be poison,
I´d stick around till I die.
If you left, that´d destroy worlds, but I don´t wanna think about that
It´s way too amazing how it feels when we love each other

You fill me with strength,
take my doubts away.
Tell me a thousand lies, I´d believe every single one;
And yet, one doubt stays: That I deserve someone like you.... 

You´re the best thing that ever happened to me!
It feels so good how you love me
I forget everything around me when you´re near

Stop the world!
5:53PM on March 11, 2009

Since you´ve been gone most things are quite ok
but for being so "correct" it hurts real bad
I guess I´m blessed, was lucky and a lot is good...
Except for that hole that won´t close.
It´s a perfect 280° Circle, the saving proof I just don´t have right now 
It´s the sense of life nobody shares with me
To know something is missing, I don´t have to be a genius!

Indescribable how cold and empty everything is
I´m trying not to show how much you´re missed
my friends do their best, but it´s just not good enough
for what you meant to me, this world holds no substitute
This is me, acting out my despair,
a silent scream of a human full of pain
and their never healing wound
This is one last fight against what caused it all
... just like a bird with one wing which will never learn to fly

It is so easy to realize
and so hard to take 
how could we possibly be apart
when my heart wears your name? 
It´s the same old story when someone dies
A piece of the puzzle is missing, it won´t ever be complete like this!
They tell me to stand strong, life goes on as I see
but to tell that it´s not true is easier than the ABC
I can´t fulfill my purpose, like a candle without fire
My ship is slowly sinking... can´t you see it has a hole?

I swear, a piece is missing! Stop the world right now! 
A piece is missing, make it stop!
And the world keeps going around, and I just don´t get WHY, doesn´t it see someone is missing?
Stop the world, a piece is missing
Just get it to stop!

The man of my dreams...
4:32PM on March 10, 2009

I just had a conversation with someone and he asked me :" Anne, how would the man of your dreams be like?"

Hmmm, it is kinda hard to explain, but here´s how I would bake the man of my dreams


He would be tall and built with beautiful carmel skin and deep brown eyes.
He would have big soft hands that you would wanna feel on your body 24/7 and he would take me in his arms whenever he gets a chance.
He would tell me that he loves me, but only when he really means it.
He would have to sit down and listen as well as he talks, but also be able to act a complete fool at times.
He would have to like food fights as much as feeding each other with starwberries.
He would have a good job that provides the both of us, for I would love to be a housewife when I settle down who only takes care of the home her man lives in and his children, that he hopefully wants.
He would be a passionate lover who is open to trying new things as well.
He would be a family man who loves and respects his elders.
He would never be violent towards women,children or animals.
He would not just take my constant bitching, but would tell me when I need to knock it off and take me in his arms when I am getting loud.
He would never doubt my love for him, for I will be his and his alone and he would never make me doubt his love for me.
He would support me in everything I do, even though he might not agree on my actions at times.

Eh... I don´t know, there´s so much more, but it´s not like that man really exists anyway, so... LOL

What the French Frie?!?!
5:05AM on December 13, 2008

Okay, I have a Message I need to get across here and NOW!

Lately I got a bit sick and tired of what´s going on on Rude...
First and foremost I am here to enjoy myself, hang out with nice people, ADULTS that is, see beautiful bodies and catch a laugh or two.
But all I see these past few weeks is this:  HE SAID THAT SHE SAID THAT HIS BEST FRIEND´S AUNTIES MOMMA SAID....
Folks, this is an ADULT website, we´re all here, more or less, for the same reasons. I don´t care if you´re on here to make a living or just to perv your nuts off, I respect you regardless, until you fuck me over!
Is this a new trend here that everybody n their momma gotta talk behind someone´s back?!
Personal Messages are being posted for the public to see, Threads where people talk about what other people said, people getting called out for having a good time on here, people complaining about Red Moderators...
The latest issue was someone complaining about me for writing one word in caps in a groupshow... The sentence was: "HAD is the keyword..."  And someone complained about it to a Red Mod, cause they have a personal problem with me... Come on, this is too damn childish!

Ya´ll need to stop thinking you´re better than everybody else... All we can be is ourselves, take it or leave it!
This is supposed to be a COMMUNITY, not a battle arena, not everybody can like everything, and not everybody has to agree with everything, but why can´t we all just either leave it alone, handle it in a respectful manner or, if we have to, report it to the right adresses?

The Rude Boards: A place where I take my time off from perving and bullshit around with my friends. NOT! Cause there you´re being told you´re hogging threads, you ruin the quality of the Boards or worse. So I left THAT playground for the most part.

Group Shows: In the past week I came across AT LEAST 5 groupshows, where feelings got hurt, Rules were broken or people were called out... Not my cup of tea, sorry! So I reduced my time on THAT playground, too.

Live Houses: No need to say that those are VOYEUR cams, if one doesn´t wanna chat, then don´t, no need to complain about people not talking, last time I checked, it was not a requirement to chat in chatrooms in order to enjoy the view... So, more drama = less of me!

This goes out to EVERYBODY on here: If you have a problem with me, come and talk to me, if you´re unable to do that, please, feel free to report me, don´t go stalk my page, knowing it´s pissing me off, don´t go talk behind my back, eventually it WILL get to me, don´t post my Rudemails to you in your blogs, taking them out of context, just so you can make people think you have a hater, don´t start making smartass remarks in chatrooms; leave me a Rudemail and I will make sure I will get back at you on the matter.

Please feel free to post your opinion or don´t, like it would make a difference anyway... lol

All I know is that if the attitude on here doesn´t change, I will stop my perv-journey sooner or later, cause I have enough Drama in my personal life, I don´t need more of it in my spare time....

Thanks for your attention

Kisses and hugs

Anne

you broke my heart
8:16AM on August 30, 2008



Listen to me
What I miss in this life is you, my love!
What happened when U were with her?

Listen to me
I´m thinkin of you no matter what I do, my love
What the hell happnend to me?

You broke my heart when you were with her.
Days turned into weeks or even a year...
Oh baby I can´t believe you´re leaving me

I see it in your eyes, she´s taking you from me!

And I am seeing that you already decided to leave, my love
Don´t you remember where I am?
And I see, that for me your heart isn´t beating anymore,  my love

Where are you going?

You broke my heart  when you were with her.
Days turned into weeks or even a year...
Oh baby I can´t believe you´re leaving me

I see it in your eyes, she´s taking you from me!

It hurts so bad!!
But you broke my heart when you where with her....

where r U going to?
8:06AM on August 30, 2008



Where are you going to?
It doesn´t make sense
to leave now

I´ll hold U tight!
Look for you north, east, south and west
to beg you...

I will look for you,have to find you
I´ll invade all countries,
will attach myself to your ways
and will turn every single stone.

Where ever U may be, I will find that place.
If U wanna forgive me then, I will find you , my love

Cause it makes no sense to leave now
I´ll hold U tight!
Look for you north, east, south and west
to beg you not to leave

It will end however you want it to.
Remember when U laid nextto me in the sun?
I will do what U tell me to.
I will be there when u ask for me.

Where are you going to?
It doesn´t make sense
to leave now

I´ll hold U tight!
Look for you north, east, south and west
to beg you...

Don´t think twice when I stand in front of you
and tell you that I am only leaving WITH you!
I will bring you home with me,
until then I won´t rest!

where r U going to? It makes no sense to leave me now!

Expect my heart to break
7:52AM on August 30, 2008



I have to try to understand you
Cause this is not the way it should go
We have to try to look into each others eyes
and not just curse to make the truth fade
For the ones who are coming after us we have to achieve this
Let´s ignore the signs of time

Expect my heart to break
cause our love is frozen
When my soul stops speaking
I know I lost this fight

My heartwill break if we don´t realize that we belong together
and don´t stop to destroy our lives
When I look at you we are one,
but you stand there I stand here
it ain´t no difference.

I´m only trying to stay warm so I don´t freeze,
just keep me warm so I don´t freeze!

Expect my heart to break
Cause our love is frozen
When my soul stops speaking
I know I lost this fight

What we need isn´t time, but LOVE
It would be hard for me if I didn´t write my poems,
but I write them for you and I write them for me
All I need is a little light

So stop trying to stop me before my soul stops speaking

you mean the world to me
9:36AM on August 13, 2008

You really mean the world to me
I asked myself, how could this be?
I really love you with all my heart
I dread the moments we are apart
You’re there for me, through good and bad
You’re my everything; you’re all I have
I hope you noticed, the way I feel
I hope you noticed, that these feelings are real
When we talk I feel so secure
I hope that our love will forever endure
You revealed your true love to me
You revealed a love; I never thought I’d see
I think about you day after day
I really love you what more can I say
I’m glad you came into my life
I’m glad I feel this way inside
I’ll end this poem with an I love you
Please believe, my love for you is true
I hope we really are meant to be
I hope you know, you are the world to me.

personal declaration of love
10:55AM on July 22, 2008

Dear beloved AJ,

This feeling of love that I hold within my heart for you runs deeper than any ocean or sea; I just wish you could see how much you mean to me. If only you could hold me, then maybe you would feel my love for you that burns with a flame high enough to last. If only you could hear my heart beat, then maybe you would understand the language of love with which it speaks. If only you could kiss me then maybe you would taste my love for you that's so sweet, and if only you could look into my eyes, the window to my soul, then you would know that this is no lie!

So, if what you feel for me is real and what you say is true, then with all my heart do I trust thee. If you want me as your love as much as I want you as my love then so be it. I give you this heart of mine and ask nothing less or nothing more but just that you don't go breaking my heart. My love and trust is all I have to give to you, sealed with honesty throughout and as time goes by, may it grow stronger to fulfill your heart's desire.

If it pleases you, call me your lover from this day forth and you're mine. For your love am I and your best friend too. As our body, mind and soul combine, so do our hearts become one.

Hear this, my declaration of love, from me to you. I love you, my Angel, with all my heart and I will never stop loving you. You are my life, you are my everything. Though distance may keep us apart, you will always be embedded deep within my heart.

Your love,

Anne

Unconditional
3:56AM on May 18, 2008



You deserve more than I could ever give you,

cause nothing can compare to your love

As much as you give me, I am unable to take, it´s enough for a whole world!

Unable to show you how much I stand by you, you are just too amazing!

I could never proof how far I would go for you,

every way would be too short...

Your love is unconditional

Your heart beats loud,

sensitive and fast.

When I lay my head on your skin daylight rises around me

Your love is unconditional

your looks are sharp,

vulnerable and faithful.

Your love is so big, new every single day and unconditional!

I could never tell you how much I miss you,

cause no day starts without you.

I don´t have to ask how much you love me,

as clear as your eyes are!

Your love is unconditional

You love me

I love you

Your love is unconditional and what you give is undescribeable!

Your love is unconditional

Your heart beats loud,

sensitive and fast.

When I lay my head on your skin daylight rises around me

Your love is unconditional

your looks are sharp,

vulnerable and faithful.

Your love is so big, new every single day and unconditional!



For my special someone... you know who you are! I love you

I`m soooo tired...
1:28AM on April 29, 2008

... not only cause it´s 7 am here and I woke up to the sound of my roommate thinkin he gotta shake a damn plastic trash-bag in front of my door!

what I am even more tired of is people (and you know I mean YOU), who think they´re all that when they´re really not!
What´s up with people adding you to their buddys or subscribe to you as a fan and then come up with all this hata bullshit?!?
Let me tell you the story:
Met someone on here and we took it to another platform to chat. Even though I told him that Rude.com is where I am being naughty and he shouldn´t expect anything outside of here, he got off on me for not showing him my ass and not giving him free shows. Shit hit the fan when he called me a nasty fat hoe that sucks and fucks everything that moves and that I´d be better off just fucking my dog instead of spreading my STDs... WTF?!?!?

Of course I stopped talking to him then, and lately he wrote me again, apologized and things were pretty peachy until I turned my housecam on last saturday, when my girl was here.
Me and her had a little fun on cam, nothing big, just making out and sucking on each others nipples and there he was again! Writing me all kind of nasty shit about how ugly she is and how nasty it is when 2 FAT PEOPLE are together, and how I could possibly think that was sexy in any kind of way; him and his friends(which I honestly doubt he has) watched and laughed their asses off... stuff like that, U know.

Now, I really don´t quite get it, is it like anybody gets forced to watch voyeur cams? Is it like I DEPEND on your ass? Who are you to judge me, my life or what I am doing?
there is something I heard on here a few times: 

              DIFFERENT STROKES FOR DIFFERENT FOLKS

so, HATA: Get that stick out your ass and get a fucking life!!!

Promotion-Blog for benslancer
9:15AM on April 15, 2008



Dedication to big black cock

In the sense of Rude´s promotion-contest I will dedicate this blog entry to the beauty of big black cock.
The most beautiful one I know is attatched to a real stunna Rude´s official chocolatier- benslancer
Now, I don´t think words can really describe what I feel when I see a beautiful black dick, but I will try to share my passionate thoughts with each and everyone of you. I need you to leave a comment on this and you have to make sure you visit benslancer on his Rudespace and show him sum luv, too, he definitely deserves it

While I am typing this I am imagining Ben sitting in front of me. Only that thought alone is enough already to get my pussy tingleing in anticipation... What pops up in my head immediately is to drop down to my knees and unwrap the beautiful black cock to show my appreciation. I would lick it up and down, suck it eagerly, I would wanna take it deep down my throat and enjoy the feeling of it filling my mouth and stretchin it so wide that my jaws start hurtin.
I´d make sure I do this dick good, I would let my tongue circle around the head while my hands massage those sexy ass balls.
I would wanna take them in my mouth and suck em like there´s no tomorrow while I slowly stroke this wonderful cock.
Just givin some good head and feeling the thickness in my mouth satisfies me to the fullest
I would ask him to grab my hair and fuck my mouth while I get wetter and wetter.

When I think of having sex I could not imagine anything else but a big black cock gettin all up in it... hittin it in all positions available, poundin the pussy, long deep strokes while I watch my hands running down that beautiful, sexy black chest.

Oh damn, I think my mind drifted a little... but that´s ok; there´s no cure for it I guess... lol
Like I said, words just can´t describe how I feel about black cock... it is a feeling I would never wanna miss! It´s better than a cold soda on a hot summerday, better than christmas... When I see a beautiful big black cock like benslancer´s I feel like a kid in the candy store, I just wanna have it all
I hope you enjoy the little dedication video I made, how can one NOT like something so beautiful?
I damn sure know that I won´t stop appreciating and worshiping big black cock, for nothing in this world

Make sure you leave your opinion in a comment and visit 

                      www.rude.com/benslancer

Make sure you leave this wonderful, beautiful, cool ass dude some love