am i really a sexual being?
12:25AM on September 23, 2009

Ever since ive been able to comprehend discrimination and stigma i have found that there are special stigma that come with being physically challenged. sometimes the physically challenged are seen as different and "weird" or even "freaks".

This is a stigma that still somewhat exists today, but in my opinion there is an even worse stigma is the stigma that most physically challenged people can not be sexual beings. (that) We have no desires or no way to understand fetish or any way to be able to express sexuality or sensuality. To most people the expression of sensuality from a physically challenged person is seen as null and void and in their eyes does not exist.

This however is not true at all. Most physically challenged people are quite capable of allowing themselves to feel and want desires and needs, they have desires just like ambulatory people do. I want to be caressed and held and touch, to feel the wet moistness of a beautiful woman pussy trickle down their belly or gush over their cock as she is cumming after a beautiful lovemaking session.

Many physiclaly challenged people are also able to have children which is another stigma that goes along with this, i believe. these same physically challenged people also can go on and live very full and active sexual lives contrary to popular belief.

All we want is to be given a chance to show the rest of the naysayers that it IS possible for people with physical challenges to be desirable and to want to be desired. all that ive ever wanted was to be with someone that I could just hold and be able to just to touch their skin and smell their scent as I caress their body and let them play under my hand as they feel my body react to theirs, how my breathe quickens with every brush and my cock engorges further and further with every grind of her beautiful pussy on it. Feeling the heat rising between the both of us and smelling the wonderous musk of sex.

That is all i want i just want to be a sexual being and be seen as one, is that too much to ask for?

I love you and caring too much
1:51AM on February 01, 2009

the words i love you can carry alot of weight when said in many different situations these three words are timeless when wanting to tell a lover how you feel. or telling a very close friend how you feel about them. i always use this term with my friends no matter how close they are, i love everyone and i will always tell you that. Although recently i have come to find that this can be misinterpreted by some people in many different situations, like if i become friends with a woman who has a husband or boyfriend and i become friends with the woman. the male counterpart will sometimes be offended or intimidated by my "closeness" when in actuality i mean no harm and i just want to be friends i dont want the female counterpart all i want is friendship and i happen to love my friends fiercely. I will fight for you and keep you until the day i die if possible, i will do anything i can for you and always reiterate that to you over and over again just to let you know i am there for you. but i have also found that this can lead to me losing my friends because i tend to think i become a bother to them and i am always too close and in their hair and they dont want me around anymore. But, eventually i see that is never the case and i should never have to worry but it is still a hangup in my head i am trying to get over and i am somewhat achieving but there are times i do still have trouble with it and it pops back up but for the most part i know that all my friends love me and i have done nothing to harm them. i ask all of you on my friends if i ever do anything to offend you or intimidate you or im "getting too close" in your relationship if you have one please let me know so we can work it out and i can actually know what i did that was misinterpreted or anything of that nature i thank you and i do love you all may peace be with you and may you all stay safe.

emotional investments in being an empath
2:09AM on December 10, 2008

 Emotional investments in any relationship are worth their entire weight in soul in the relationship. to be able to get that close with someone to me is a very special thing. to be able to allow that person to open up to you as a friend and be able to tell them the deepest thoughts in your head is a very special bond that is very hard to forge between two friends, normally. But it seems anytime i meet anyone i can get them to open up to me and  i can get them to talk to me and tell me almost anything almost right off the first meeting, this doesnt happen all the time but more often than not it does. when i forge this type of bond with someone i seem to become really close to them really quickly. i will do anything to help them and i will fight for them in any situation, sit up for them for any reason i will always be available to lean on and to talk to unless i am gone somewhere or just plain dead, i will never let my friends down nor will i ever betray their trust. i try my hardest to be the best friend i can be yet there are still times that i dont think i am doing enough as a friend to be there for my friends.  There are times I feel I can do more, but then I wheel back and look at the situation and realize that I am doing all i can as a friend to be there for them and to let them know im available for them.
  This is where being an impath comes into my life. An empath is a person who can feel others emotions around him/her anytime i see a person or talk to my friends i can feel their emotions be they happy or sad or angry or frustrated or anything. sometimes this makes me happy and sometimes this drains the living hell out of me and i am to weak to barely want to do anything but sleep. i will admit this doesnt always work the way I want it to but when it does it is quite a very interesting experience. i can tell the deepest things about a person just through their emotions and by feeling their emotions that allows me to see their soul. i see souls in different colors as well depending upon their moods. different colors for different moods and emotions and even goings on in the mind. sometimes being an empath is the most beautiful thing in the world and sometimes it can be the darkest most ugly thing that i have ever felt within myself. sadness and angry are the two most painful emotions anyone can ever experience but when i experience them it almost literally hurts. and i end up in a funk for the rest of the day. this is something that i am still learning and growing with i hope it shows me things that i have never seen before. to see things in people no one else sees is truly a gift in the minds eye.

life is like texas hold'em
1:33AM on September 03, 2008

in the game of texas hold'em there are seven cards. the player is dealt two cards which in this case represent the small beginnings, you can either choose to go with the cards you have or you can fold those cards but if you do that most likely you probably wont get another chance to choose another hand. the next part that is dealt is the flop this is a bigger chunk of ones life that can not be so easily folded or changed, this is the part of life where one makes crucial decisions and decides which path to take. the last part of life is like the river this is dealt as the last card because it is the final act that one commits before they flow down the river of life.

footprints
2:26AM on September 01, 2008

one night a man had a dream.
he dreamed he was walking along the 
beach with the lord. across the sky
flashed scenes from his life

for each scene he noticed two sets of footprints
in the sand; one belonged to him and the other to the lord
when the last scene of his life flashed before him,
he looked back at the footprints in the sand, he noticed many times
along the path of his life there was only one set of footprints. He also noticed
that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in his life.

this really bothered him and he questioned the lord about it "lord, you said
that once i decided to follow you you'd walk with me all the way, but i have noticed
that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints.
i dont understand why when i need you most you would leave me.

the lord replied:  "My precious, precious child, i love you and i would never leave you.
during your times of trial and suffering when you only see one set of footprints it was
then that i carried you.

who i am
5:54PM on August 21, 2008