My Blog :: Ten years ago I happen to find myself at one of those uncomfortable psuedo liberal parties in the hills of hollywood where people usaully went to get not-so-quietly drunk, abuse pescription meds and talk about endless unfiltered politics .. i was there but for the good graces of my clique ,, a ragtag group of pirate nixons if i ever saw one .. It was a view into a world I had little use for but could not pull away from .. I had somehow come to take up the "token Black guy" position in this group and the cost of my vicarious entertainment at this party was the endless sermonizing and apologizing for slavery .. the righteous indignation at the audacity of blacks wanting reparations for said slavery .. As usual I just smiled and nodded at these displays of inept buffoonery and social awkwardness that emanted from "not Knowing" .. Hell, I even admit cupability by my very presence ... ...anyway this is rude.com and you're reading this for a juicy sex story ... ... The host of the party "Bill" had unknown to me ...promised to hook one of these arty farty types with a big black guy ... never mind that i was of medium height and build .. my bespectacled demeanor far from the mandingo she was looking for .. Yep, there's a saying in hollywood ... "They either wanna fuck of they wanna FUCK you " ... and this was unknown to me at the time .. my plight as it were. Leslie had starred in a couple of C movie pics, was blond, frighteningly thin and had one of those fucked up page boy, ellen De Generes hair cuts .. Yeah, totally my type .. NOT !! .. I spent the evening alighting from one social group to the next ... most of the guests were talking about local indie music and bands ... a lot were talkin about the latest Wienerdog video [local performanceartist] ...Skat is really not my thing .. really .. Leslie spent her evening spot chasing me from clique to clique ... you just gotta love Los angeles social politics .. go to a party to a party just to hang out withthe friends you came with and if your're lucky .. you snowball into some one else's group of friends... .. I always tried to tell myself that this wasn't me .. that I was so much better than the social climbers around me ... I was wrong .. .. so, i guess I gotta get to the fuckin part ... Leslie was becoming increasingly fustrated to the point of heated distraction and had decided to lay it all on the line most bluntly ... "What's a girl gotta do to get a little cock out of ya ?!!' -what a lady- I was unwilling to answer, perhaps due to the initial shock factor or perhaps that my answer would have elevated the threat level to red ... "Do you want some whit pussy or not bra ?" "Uhm-I guess not." .. At this point Leslie "accidentally spilt her drink on my windbreaker and stormed off .. I was relieved and very, very ..wet. I fought my way through the crowd only to find the restroom full of people having that "Scarface moment" with a pile of coke ... .. Recreational drugs are only recreational if you can take the shit and avoid fucking with the clean people in the room ... People usually take that shit and start getting pissed at the square which was usually me ... anyway, i found my way to Bill's personal restroom which was off limits to everybody but Bill .. fuck'em .. He had placed me in the fire with that dried up twat any way ... I would quietly enjoy using his meticulously monogramed towels and gleefully pissing all over his oak toilet seat [Bill actually sat down to piss, because he didn't want to damage the material.] .. .. Those towelswere fucking sweet and repressed twit that he is ... Bill even had fiber optics running through the towel rack that heated the material ... ... after cleaning my windbreaker to the best of my ability, I turned to find a woman seated on the toilet quietly pissing and nonchalantly starring at me .... I'd seen her in clique number seven that some of my people actually knew, but i hadn't caught her name .. "Hey .. How's it goin ?" "Were you sitting there the whole time?" "Yup." "Not saying anything .. cool with it ?" "Yeah, so .. I'm not having a cow or nothin' ... 'sides, I saw that old chick dump her drink on you .. totally fucked up." "Excuse me, but you are using the bathroom aren't you?" ....she flushed ... "I was." .. I was still reeling from the fact that she was sitting there and then she stood up pulling her flowered granny panties up over suprisingly voluptuous thighs. She smiled and said her name was Diana. She was wearing what looked to be a catholic school girl's uniform, knee high socks and all .. ... She looked like a white girl, but her voice branded her something else entirely .. kinda sounded a little street .. not in the forced show "bizzness" way you usually find at these parties. . "Aren't you gonna use the john dude ?" I didn't answer. "Oh- Okay." She turned her back to me. "You might wanna step out side Leslie." "Fuck no .. I was here first. Besides, what do you think i'm gonna do anyway?" "Its just that ... uh, screw it." I took that nagging piss. Forgot to piss on Bill's seat though. Leslie explained that she had been squatting in the bathroom to get away from a paticularly annoying roommate who was trying to get into her pants. I told her my story. We talked and talked ... just about everything. Leslie was from south LA and was actually half russian and half latina. She always downplayed her mixed heritage because people made a big deal out of it and constantly questioned her ... ... I told her I was all nigger ... She laughed ... I was relieved .. Usually people got upset when I said the N word in un-african american company. It's okay to think it, but you just cant say it ... " Wanna kick it ?" "Huh?" Leslie blinked her heavily shaded eyes and tapped me on the shoulder. "You wanna go with me and vibe .. Just like .. Hang in a car and talk shit." I nodded and followed Leslie out into the party. she had tied a sweater around her waist, but it did little to conceal her curvy bottom. I was nervous and a little anxious .. unfamiliar territory for me these days. We ended up chilling in some body's honda civic and listening to the local college stations. "Hey man, you feeling me ?" "Yeah, I'm there." It was honest ... It was REAL ... ... We just started going at it like fucking ANIMALS !!! ... not kissing ... JUST SUCKING ON EACHOTHER'S LIPS, TONGUES, CHEEKS AND CHINS ... my hand trying to grasp her breast through the vest and long sleeved shirt that covered it .. fingers prying into theshirt, popping buttons and reaching into the underwire bra to find a solid breast .. the nipple standing at attention ... hard as a bullet ... her grasping talon of a hand cupping my balls and package though my black jeans .. ripping the zippier down .. seeking to find my throbbing cock !! .. ripping through my under shirt and boxers .. grasping in her jeweled fingers .. and pulling into the moonlight my many veined penis ... Diana violently used her elbow to shove me back on the seat as she began to suck my pulsating member with the glee I've never seen before and have'nt since .. grasping my prick with both of her hands ... sticking her tongue into my urethra with abandon ... It was extremely wet and sticky .. I was reeling with lust and running my fingers through her raven locks finding a ornate hair pin .. Diana stopped abruptly and position herself between the front seats of whoever-the fucks-car that was ... she placed her palms on the dash board as I raised that plaid skirt with a crackhead like frenzy ... Her large panties were adorned with small hearts ... really cute actually .. Instead of pulling the panties down and off ... i pulled them deep into the crack of her juicy pale bottom .. It would have taken too much time to get them off in the small car ... "Come on and stab me with it !!!" I didn't disappoint. .... I parted those perfect cheeks .. using my thumbs to separate he puffy vaginal lips and violently shoved my cock inside ... WE FUCKED ... WE FUCKEN FUCKED !! .. me, aching my back off the back seat .. her , throwing her ass into my pelvis .. THE SMACKING SOUND ALMOST DEAFINING !!! .. then I came ... I GUSHED A LITTER OF HOT DNA DEEP into the CRACK of HER BEAUTIFUL ASS !!! ... soiling all those little fucking hearts and the back her thighs .. my jeans were soiled as well. ... ... Diana quickly turned and gave me a short peck on the cheek ... -she bounded out of the car and back up to the house.- .... I ended up cleaning myself off to the best of my ability with some leaves from a nearby tree. Hell on the penis though .. -I made my way quietly back into the house and back to my clique. .. .... I was introduced to some dude named Steve .. and his girlfriend Diana.

Crack Addict prt 2.
6:43PM on May 13, 2008

It had been about two weeks since I'd had the encounter with Marsha and I was still craving more of that magnificent ass cleavage. My nights were filled with images of Marsha's massive ass jiggling in my face.
Filled with images of me creaming that deep crack with pint upon pint of my copious DNA.




It got so bad that I'd even considered calling Marsha up and offering her some more "rent" money for a little replay of that action. It was just something about the friction and heat created when I was running my cock up and down on her tattooed bum that was driving me crazy.




My sleep and work began to suffer and I found myself starring at the wall daydreaming about Marsha's flabby ass cheeks and suffering from a bionic erection.

"Hey!! ... Wake up in there !! I'm worrying myself to female baldness over the Stetson account and you're daydreaming"
 

                  It was my co-worker Claudia. She had trained me when i first came to the firm. We had become fast friends. I felt like I could tell her anything.

"What's eating you lately."

"I not talking ... and you'd probaly laugh me out of the room any way."

"Girl problems ?"

"Not the kind you're used to hearing from me?"  Claudia laughed and told me that she had heard it all. A few and three long island ice teas later ,,, Claudia was laughing her ass off. She offered to help me out with my little problem, but she wasn't qualified. And she wasn't lying ... Claudia had along flat back back. ... simply no ass at all ... She laughed and snorted at me stupidly drunk as well.

"Ya know buddy, I'm gonna find a way to solve your little problem."

That was not music to my ears ...  Claudia had a big mouth and shot it off intermittently to any and every one who would or wouldn't listen.

The next day at work was especially excruciating. Claudia's had retained the information that I told her the other night and had obviously passed it on to my other female co-workers. I had to endure scurrying female coworkers every time I walked up the aisle or went to the water cooler. I was pretty pissed at Claudia. I was about to eat lunch in my cubicle when she had the nerve to come up to me smiling.

"Don't look so pissed. The girl's really feel sorry for you. That's all ... Tell you what . Meet me in the parking lot ....Maybe this thing can work out for both of us.  I'm gonna help you out with your little problem."

I didn't know what the fuck that meant.
Claudia was a very thin [heroin chic] red head chick with tired skin and almost no curves. "Blowjob" was the only thing that I could think of and I'd need a magazine just to get started.  Claudia had tried to get something started with me before, but I just played dumb most of the time until she finally fucked some one else.

This whole "Crack Addict thing was getting to me though ...

                                                                                      ...and I needed a release so .....

I found my self  inside her car at  lunch hour as we zipped towards a local motel. she pulled into the lot with expert precision. Funny ... She kinda ignored me on the drive over, continuously talking on her cellphone.

"Alright ... Get out."  She stared at me smirking.

"You sure you wanna do this ?"

Yup. It's time to get you back on the winning team." 

  I decided to chuck everything and throw my all into it with Claudia.  I leaned over and kissed ...

                                  ....HER HAND ?!!!

"Hold it up Romeo ... We're not fucking."  She pointed towards a motel room door that was slightly ajar.

"We'll act like this never happened."

I stepped out of the car and watched Claudia speed off before I turned my attention to the motel room obviously meant for me. The door was slightly ajar and I gave it a little push.

There seemed to be no one in the room. it was a sparse area with a large bed  adjacent to an adequate television.

" I'll be with you in a minute." A voice called out from the bathroom. The door was closed, but only 75%. I could make out a figure in front of the small mirror on the wall. I was a pissed that Claudia obviously brought me a prostitute, but I had to scratch this itch that had been dogging me for weeks.

I walked up to the door and took a peek inside.

The prostitute was applying her makeup .. Her back was to me. she was probaly about 4'11" of height.

She was definitely a BBW ... She had a well defined pear shape and was wearing nothing but a stark black bra and panties. A long mane of raven black hair with highlights hung low at her shoulders... but that wasn't what interested me  ...

                                         ... it was that ass.
                                             ...what an ass it was ...

    Massive, smooth and abnormally round sitting at one of the most defined small waists I'd ever seen. That black thong was barely visible ...

                                                          


I began to drool at the prospect of running my aching, throbbing cock up and down that phat, luscious mad lump of an ass.

                                        Claudia, I love you.

Suddenly, the prostitute turned and face me .... and to this day I really couldn't tell you much about what she looked like other than her amazing dimensions.

"Why are are you still dressed ?"

She didn't have to tell me twice ...  I was out of my clothing in two shakes .. with only socks and tie remaining.

"Just relax ... Boy, you really like me huh ?"

"Fuck yeah baby."

All I wanted to do was lick that ass all day and it showed because she took a few steps back upon gazing at my drooling gaping countenance.

"Sit down." She suddenly commanded.

I complied as soon as the words left her lips and  tried to sit on the edge of the bed. I ended up plopping down on the floor.

"Good boy."

She walked over and positioned herself over my eager face. I really wasn't into face sitting, but this was the most incredible ass i had ever seen.

                                                            


Yes boys and girls ... I eagerly lapped up the juices from suprisingly small and chubby pussy with wild abandon. She seemed happy to be servicing me  and ground her cunt right into my nose and mouth .
After about fifteen minutes she got off my wet face and reached for my cock.

"Please don't touch it !! ... I'll cum if you do !!! You're that fucking hot!!!  I begged.

"Well, what do you want me to do fucker?"

"I know this is gonna sound crazy, but I wanna rub my cock into the crack of that amazing ass of yours. I wanna fill it with all the cum in my balls !!"

"Is that right ?"
 
She giggled and crawled onto the bed, all the while looking at my with a "fuck the shit out of me" expression. she gingerly lay on her belly waiting ....


                                           

       "There's some lube on the bathroom sink."

"I was there and back in a millisecond. I emptied the contents all over her magnificent globes and deep into the crack of that ass. I rubbed lube all over her thick rump until it was glistening in the sun light creepijng through the drawn curtains.

 "Fuck my fat cheeks you little pussy."

Shaking I mounted her ass and pushed those tan cheeks together. Her ass was so big that my hands looked child sized mashing that butt together.  She raised her incredible lump into the air and I got a direct look at her cunt. 



                               


                      


I gave it a few more licks before  I pushed my cock deep into the crack of her ass until my shaft was adjacent to her hot bung hole.  She rested on the bed as I began fucking the shit out of her huge butt cheeks ... There was a loud slapping sound in the room as my pelvis slammed against her fat booty with the speed of a freight train.

"OOOHHHH !!!! ... That feels really good baby !! Fuck those cheeks !!!"

I folded my legs as I slid over her ass fucking the cheeks deeply and with extreme precision.

"You're pressing on my little brown eye and it feels good !!! " Her voice was muffled as she was face down in the pillows on the bed.

"Gimme that cum you little pussy !! Butter this muffin !!!"

                                    ... I didn't disappoint as I came ...

                                               ...  again and again  ....
The first shot sped right up the cleavage of that massive butt and pooled in the small of her back. I raised myself up a bit and showered her tan cheeks with what I'm sure was everything in my scrotum.

"It's so hot !!!"

The prostitute was shaking and jiggling her giant rump splashing man juice onto my belly and spreading it around on her beautiful butt.

"That was suprisingly good. I'm going to have to thank Claudia very well for this afternoon."

It was strange hearing that come out of her mouth. she suddenly pushed me aside and sauntered into the bathroom where she took a shower. I just washed my stomach and penis in the sink like a cro-magnon. I sat waiting on the bed so I  could get one final look at her amazing ass as she left and to hit her up for a phone number.

She walked out in a simple top and skirt which couldn't possibly have hid that big ass.

                                                    

"Uh, that was cool ...  uhm, could I like get your number ?" I begged.

"we're getting a little ahead of ourselves aren't we ? Come on,I'll get you back to the office."

She opened the motel door and I saw that she had a limo waiting. I was puzzled.

"We're both late for a meeting. I'm Mrs. Stetson."


Claudia was right.
                            She got the Stetson account  and I got to scratch that itch.

                                                              I also became known as the office whore.


 .... and I still had that itch.