Romance Mathematics
3:12AM on March 16, 2009
> ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
>
> Smart man + smart woman = romance
>
> Smart man + dumb woman = affair
>
> Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
>
> Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
>
> ____________ _________ _________
>
> OFFICE ARITHMETIC
>
>
> Smart boss + smart employee = profit
>
> Smart boss + dumb employee = production
>
> Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
>
> Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
>
> ____________ _________ ________
>
>
> SHOPPING MATH
>
> A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
>
> A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
>
> ____________ _________ ________
>
>
> GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
>
> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>
> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
>
> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
> ____________ _________ ________
>
>
> HAPPINESS
>
> To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
> little.
>
> To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
> understand her at all.
>
> ____________ _________ _________
>
>
> LONGEVITY
>
> Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
> more willing to die.
>
> ____________ _________ _________
>
>
> PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
>
> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>
> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
>
> ____________ _________ ________
>
>
> DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
>
> A woman has the last word in any argument.
>
> Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
> ____________ _________ ________
>
> HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
>
> Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
> cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing
> the same thing to them at funerals.
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