My Blog :: Erotic Thoughts

Romance Mathematics
3:12AM on March 16, 2009



> ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
>
> Smart man + smart woman = romance
>
> Smart man + dumb woman = affair
>
> Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
>
> Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy
>
> ____________ _________ _________
>
> OFFICE ARITHMETIC
>
>
> Smart boss + smart employee = profit
>
> Smart boss + dumb employee = production
>
> Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
>
> Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime
>
> ____________ _________ ________
>
>
> SHOPPING MATH
>
> A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs.
>
> A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.
>
> ____________ _________ ________
>
>
> GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
>
> A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
>
> A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
>
> A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
>
> A successful woman is one who can find such a man.
>
> ____________ _________ ________
>
>
> HAPPINESS
>
> To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a
> little.
>
> To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to
> understand her at all.
>
> ____________ _________ _________
>
>
> LONGEVITY
>
> Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot
> more willing to die.
>
> ____________ _________ _________
>
>
> PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
>
> A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
>
> A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.
>
> ____________ _________ ________
>
>
> DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
>
> A woman has the last word in any argument.
>
> Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.
>
> ____________ _________ ________
>
> HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
>
> Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
> cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing
> the same thing to them at funerals.

Cold Kitty Kat
3:09AM on March 16, 2009

Cold Kitty Kat

A fan of mine requested a show with an ice dildo. My first reaction was Yes!!! (I am so willing to please) but then I started to have reservations about shoving something so cold deep into the warmest part of my body. After rolling it around my brain for a day or two I remembered my motto to try everything twice so I made my dildos, freezing a condom filled with water and set a date for the show.
He suggested that I start by giving my clit a good rub with it to get me stimulated; the crazy crazy coldness made my clit plump and my pussy contract...kind of like my nipples reaction to a drop in temperature. I was so tight I felt like a virgin all over again rofl! The ice melted against the warmth of my clit and lips and I could feel the cold drips warm up as they slid down towards my holes.

There were so many sensations at once. With my clit swollen hard and a bit numb I plunged the dildo into my tight pussy and I scream with both pleasure and shock!. I did not want to stop thrusting it in and out, the melting water and my own juices mixed together and I was wetter then ever as I fucked myself. The tightness of my cunt pushed my g-spot down hard on the ice and I was soon quivering with an intense orgasm. I would like to try it again one day, perhaps sitting on the beach during a heat wave as a means of cooling myself. SMACK! SMACK!!

Giving Good Head
3:07AM on March 16, 2009

Giving Head?

Okay men I've read alot of ads claiming you give good head but when an actual hook up occurs some of you don't have the slighest clue in hell as to what it is you are doing. And just because you love giving head doesn't mean you give it well so here are 5 small tips to help you and your lady out...
1.) There is more to it than the clit: The clit isn't the only part of the vagina that loves attention during 69. The vagina isn't just for your dick. So stop ignoring it. Put your finger(s) in it, use a vibrator, a carrot (not my thing but I thought I'd throw it out there), something, ANYTHING but play in it please. I mean for crying out loud your face is covered in lady juices so why are you afraid of getting your hands dirty?

2.) You have options: Speaking of the clit, there are more sensations we like other than you flicking it with the tip of your tounge. Suck it, bite it (not too hard- I can not stress this enough) or agian use your hands and give it a little break so she doesn't orgasm in 30 seconds or less. Alternate and repeat. Do you like it when a woman just bobs up and down on your dick with her mouth and nothing else or do you like it when she sucks the whole thing, then just the tip, licks it, grabs it and jacks you off while sucking it and plays with your balls? We like a little variety too.

3.) Rug Burn = No fun: Shave your face or at the very least trim your mustache. No woman on this entire planet thinks having rug burn on her inner thighs is col. We do have to get up and go to work/school/shop when you are done. We need to be able to walk without being in constant pain. Not being able to walk because of the earth shattering orgasm one thing and is totally diferent than being in pain because our thighs are chaffing.

4.) Her thighs are not there just to get in the way: You don't just have to rush right in and start going at it like you're starving, kissing a ladies thighs can only go one of two ways- a. it'll turn her on even more or b. she's laugh like crazy cause it tickles, either way its fun so stop using them to prop yourself up. Rub them while you're eating her out, grab them and pull her legs open but just stop pretending like they aren't there. They are an erogenous zone.

5.) Its not going to break: There are some men who eat pussy like if they get too close or too into it its going to break. You do this too when having sex. If your lady likes it a bit harder during sex she probably wouldn't mind you losing yourself and letting go when your face is in between her legs. Bury your face in there, swim around, come up for air and then dive back in. The vagina is attached. It will not break, it will not come off, it will not need to go in and be redetailed if you bang it up a bit with your mouth so stop treating it like a new Sabb and rough it up a bit. Touch it and act like you love doing it. If you say you love eating pussy then EAT IT don't just taste test it.

Jade Starr Favorite Position
3:06AM on March 16, 2009


Doggy Style, or rear-entry sex is a sexual position in which one partner is penetrated from behind. The usual configuration is with both partners kneeling on a solid surface like the bed or floor, though good results can also be achieved with the partner being penetrated resting their upper body on the bed and their lower body off the bed.



But you don't have to take things lying down. Standing positions can also deliver some high impact results, although these maneuvers requires a lot more leg strength than a horizontal or kneeling position.



Standing rear-entry positions allow the partner being penetrated to bend forward at the waist; they can spread their legs to accommodate height differences, or use a wall or piece of furniture for added support.



Why Women Love It



Sex from behind frees the woman to indulge in the kinds of fantasies face-to-face positions (read: eye contact) sometimes inhibit



Doggy Style positions, whether laying flat, on all fours, standing or leaning, allow women to let it all hang out, so to speak. Women who are conscious of belly bulges or less-than-pert breasts relish the fact that these parts of their bodies are not on display, allowing them to concentrate on where the pleasure's really at...
Acclaimed sexual educator Shere Hite once reported that 70 per cent of women do not achieve orgasm from penetration alone. Some would say that number is even higher. The great news is that rear-entry positions provide a delicious opportunity for clitoral stimulation via the deft touch of a dexterous partner, the incorporation of a sex toy, or through some good, old-fashioned self-stimulation
Breasts too can be lavished with attention, and many a women with concerns over the size and shape of their breasts loves Doggy Style

Wet Pussy
2:57AM on March 16, 2009

Erotic Thoughts


Isn't wet pussy the kind of pussy YOU want? Hey I'm not talking about a pussy that just stepped out of the shower, dripping water from it. I'm not talking about a wet pussycat either. What I mean is a pussy that is soaking wet because I am extremely hot and turned on. Don't you love it when the juices start flowing and that pussy gets really good and wet? In fact it gets so damn wet that it begs you to urgently
put the hammer to it, oh yeah!
There's nothing that compares to licking a young pussy and tasting its sweet pussy juice taste. How would you like having a pink wet pussy masturbating right in front of you, waiting for you to dive your tongue into it and lick it all the way from ass to clit and back?
Yeah my friend, those are the moments that make life worth living. If you lick me well enough I'll cum right in your face, giving you all my pussy juices. If you don't have such a pussy around, it's about time to find a real pussy to fuck tonight!

What could possibly be better than a wet pussy? Yeah, only a pussy that's even more wet... A pussy that squirts cum out like a water pipe that just burst open! I just love any pussy that can do this, it's a whole lot of fun. Have you ever witnessed a wet pussy squirting?

Generally wet pussy is just pussy that's excited and ready for dick. You better not leave it waiting when it's ready. You should just jump right in and take care of it because if you don't, somebody else is going to take care of business for you.

Which would be a shamee, a really wet pussy is pussy ready for just about anything you wanna do with it. A site when a a pussy is full of cum load and then watching goo drip out again.
That's called a cream-pie, leaving the pussy all wet and creamy!