confess yur SINZ 2 gawd!
8:42PM on June 05, 2008
Have you guys seen that show “A Shot of Love with Tila Tequila”? I am like addicted to it. This woman is like the ultimate bratty princess BITCH. On the show show she has boy and girl contestants fighting for a chance to date her and to make them show their dedication she has made them get her name tattooed on them, walk on glass, sip a gallon of hotdogs on buns with ketchup and mustard through a straw that has been blended in a blender and eat pig vaginas. She has done all of that and more. She is completely my evil bitch inspiration!
I have been talking a lot about TV lately. I get totally sucked in when I have the television on so I apologize for pushing the dumb box on you guys.
I had sort of a crappy day. I had a lot of really cool stuff happen and a lot of iffy/sad stuff as well. Well as you all know I had a list of things I wanted to get done but between video uploading, journal posting, forum posting and email answering I was like at the coffee shop for hours before I realized I wasn’t going to get all of my shit done. Actually I only got two things on my list done which is completely unacceptable!
While I was sitting at the coffee shop yesterday and during that time my ex Jay came in as well as Steve who isn’t my ex but is someone I had an interestingly turbulent romantic relationship with at one time. Jay walked in and assumed I was with Steve but I hadn’t even exchanged two words with him at that point. I however confronted him about him lying to me about staying the night with my best friend from high school, Breea who I begged him not to mess around with. I also warned that bitch not to fucking fuck around with Jay. I’m knocking her in the fucking head next time I see her.
Jay was so special to me. As much crazy shit that went on in our relationship it was still completely passionate and worth our while. I loved him and still love him very much. Of course now I realize that with his alcoholic behavior and my chaotic demeanor we can never truly have a successful future since we would probably end up like Sid and Nancy. I also want to point out that without being his woman I know I can’t REALLY say who he can and can’t date. But I’m still fucking pissed whether it’s rational or not. I’ll get over it I’m sure, it’s not like I have shit to worry about anyways… Breea can’t hold a relationship if her life depended on it anyways. She’s destined to be a lonely jaded old biddy just like her mom that has had 5 marriages.
But fuck that I am never talking to his stupid loser ass again, and her either after I either knock the shit out of her and scream at her for being such a fucking stupid bitch. She only even went out if her way to talk to him to piss me off anyways since I asked her not to. I asked her before anything even happened. Everyone thinks I am crazy but I CAN see the future and that shit pisses me off something horrible that NO ONE EVER LISTENS TO ME. They probably just think I am some raving crazy ass cat lady. Which I guess I am technically. Sometimes I just wish this soothsayer would just stop finding truth, at least with myself cause it only causes heartache in the long run.
Also I am upset and confused about Steve. SURE I KNOW I DON’T think his presence in my life is beneficial any longer. He only promotes drama and drives the people that are actually GOOD for me away. But the fact of the matter is that when you are so used to having someone around and you have shared so many good times with them, It’s hard to just break them off like it’s nothing. Sometimes it’s really hard to choose to do what’s best for you when it involves choosing to be alone.
Last night I missed Bruce’s going away get together. I told Kyle to stop by since I don’t have internet at my house yet since Jeb (my dog) pissed on my damn modem but I didn’t hear him come by. I guess it’s still possible that he did since I came home from the coffee shop and passed the fuck out. So he might have knocked and I just didn’t hear him but I doubt he was that thoughtful enough to come by at all. I’ll be glad when I get a fucking phone.
I’m going to try to lose ten pounds this month and get down to 115. I had a cellulite 30 day program ordered for me off of my wish list cause I saw it advertised on the Tyra show. Haha, that makes me a loser but fuck it, the girls that tried it out seemed to be impressed with it. It’s that nivia 30 day cellulite pack thing. I generally don’t fall for this stuff but I want to try it out. It comes with a muscle mass increasing dietary supplement, a cream and patches for trouble spots. I am also going to use the Jergen’s FIRMING natural body glow every other day for the month to test out the results with that too.
Other than just hoping these magical creams work I am also going to commit to doing yoga every single day for a month to help tighten up from the inside out. I MIGHT even take before and after pictures. Um yeah that’s a big MAYBE. I mean I’ll probably take them but I’ll most likely just go ahead and keep them to myself. I’ll let everyone know what day I start that program so you can all harass me to stay on task.
Oh and at the end of this month after I pay rent for the next I am going to go back vegan. I’m not going to claim to go vegan for the rest of my life or anything like that but I want to go back to eating vegan since pretty much this whole year I have been eating crappy low quality foods and I feel like it’s all built up and gross inside of me. I’ll probably need to do a toxin cleanse too, to make sure I get off to the nest start possible. Whenever I start the month thing I won’t trouble myself to start eating a vegan diet but I will make an effort to eat more natural/less processed foods.
Another thing I am really excited about is that I FINALLY have the rest of the supplies bought and coming in the mail (from my amazon wish list) to get my hair REALLY blonde. I have protein and hot oil treatments to attempt to combat some of the dryness and breaking that is sure to occur since I have already bleached it out once. But since I just have non-permanent color in my hair I really hope that the color stripper will be enough to break the bulk of it up and out so I don’t have to process the bleach on my hair very much at all.
I’m thinking about getting this little 7” portable laptop called an ASUS eee that’s on my wish list. It comes preloaded with Linux and I was wondering if anyone knew if my webcams would work with that system? Will my Zune software work with it?
I’m watching Saved by the Bell now. Whatever happened to that Lisa girl? And what about Zach? What the hell are those kids up to these days? The one girl has that dance show on Bravo and the jockey buttface guy hosted last years Miss Teen USA but I Haven’t seen Lisa or Zach in the mix for awhile now. And more importantly… What the hell ever happened to Body Glove biker shorts? Kelly has some of those on and I seriously just rubbed one out watching her booty jiggle around in them. No joke. Now I just can’t stop quivering at the thought of Screech having is own nasty porn movie. I just don’t understand the world these days.
I assume this will take about two days to get to the color I want. I plan on stripping the color three times and doing hot oil treatments in between stripping sessions. I know that oils breaks up hair color in itself and it will also help to repair and save my dry scalp and strands from all of the damaging processes it will be going through.
Then after all of that I am going to bleach it briefly to break up any color left behind as well as lightening my dark roots which have now grown out pretty far. Then I will rinse and let air dry before I color my hair my hair with the final blonde color I desire. If there is any brassiness left in my hair I will tone it with that manic panic virgin snow toner that I have and then put on a clear glaze to help with the damage and split ends.
I REALLY hope my hair turns out white rather than grey or green. I have probably a week and a half longer that I will be wearing my blue hair and enjoying it to it’s fullest so I hope to get some pictures done with it while I still have it.
I will also obviously need a hair cut after I put my tresses trough all these stresses (I rhymed!) because my ends are already split as it is since I haven’t had my hair cut since Angelia put my last fusion extensions in which was like at the beginning of last October I am pretty sure. So if anyone has any hair cuts to suggest I am all ears! If I can’t make up my mind on what cut to get I’ll probably just end up getting a trim and putting in some longer blonde hair extensions.
Ok I have a weird confession to make. I am taking vitamins right now and that’s what reminded me of it. Whenever I am trying to swallow a pill or like a shot of strong liquor and I think I am about to hurl I think of this one girls face. Her name is Kara and I find her face so sobering that it keeps me from vomiting. I guess that’s a compliment, I mean at least it keeps me from vomiting instead of inducing it.
Now I want YOU to confess something to me. Don’t be scared I am not going to tell anyone. If I refer to your confession in a future blog I will leave out who you are. You can leave it as a comment, or if you feel more comfortable you can email it to me.
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