My Blog :: My opinions on everything! I talk about porn, rude members, movies, shows, rude features and even answer some questions!!

Pirates of the Carrebean: At World's End Movie Review
3:58PM on January 29, 2008

Wow! This is definitely a must see movie!! It had me at the edge of my seat and it had me laughing! It didn’t take me long to get back into the world of the Pirates! We join Elizabeth Swan (Kira Knightley) and the rest of the pirates on their quest to get Capt. Jack, each wanted him back for different reasons. Captain Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp) was as crazy as ever (ok, more insane) and not as drunk on rum strangely enough, but still had me laughing at his antics! All of the characters were wonderfully portrayed and quirky! I loved the awesome graphics throughout the movie! There was so many twists and treachery during the entire movie that you didn’t know who was on which side and what they were doing! We also learn about some new characters, like Calypso, the goddess that betrayed Davy Jones (Bill Nighy) and that betrayal was what ended up turning him into the monster he is. We end up at Shipwreck Island where the nine Pirate Lords of the Brethren Court must make a decision that will affect the fate of their pirate lifestyle! There are tons of sword fights and cannon fights with Davy Jones, the East India Trading Company, and the pirates! We watch as the pirates defend their freedom in a climatic fight! The movie was great all the way to the ending, but I have to say.. not exactly how I wanted it to end, but it will do. Now I wonder if there will be a fourth pirates movie…

The biggest questions during the entire movie are:

What will happen to William Turner and Elizabeth Swan?

What will happen to Davy Jones and the flying Dutchman?

What side is Capt. Jack Sparrow on and what the hell is he doing?

Batman Begins Movie Review
3:57PM on January 29, 2008

I did not really have much to do today. So I popped in a movie I haven’t watched in ages, Batman Begins. It is a jewel of a movie. It made a couple of ripples when it came out but I think it should have been so much bigger! It was a fantastic dark portayal of Batman from DC Comics. I loved it. I know it took me a while. It is one of those movies that you come to like it the more times you watch it! Christian Bale is a fantastic actor and he brings a special darkness to Bruce Wayne/Batman’s character. I loved watching Bruce’s struggle with his parent’s death and vengeance! I loved Katie Holms character , Rachel Dawes that seem to keep Bruce grounded a bit. I am quite happy w/ Micheal Caine being the chosen replacement for Alfred! Alfred’s character continues to be lovable and caring! The graphics were excellent and the gadgets were perfect! I loved the swarming bats everywhere! I thought the plot line was a bit slow in the beginning, but it was definitely needed for the entire background to be understood! I would give this movie seven out of ten. The reason I wouldn’t give it more is because Morgan Freeman was so awesome I think he should have had a bigger part!

Kinsey Movie Review
3:56PM on January 29, 2008

Last night I watched Kinsey and it was just as good as I remembered. The movie is made like an interview of Dr.Alfred Kinsey’s life, who was the pioneer of the science of Sex Research in the late 1940s and early 1950s. The movie goes in and out from the interview room to clips from his life. It starts by talking about his childhood and how masturbating was a sin against God. It showed his father (played by John Lithgo) being very religious and sex is not tolerated unless it is for babies, not pleasure. His father wanted him to become an engineer, but that wasn’t where his heart was. He enjoyed science, so he got his degree in zoology and later a professor. Dr. Alfred Kinsey (Liam Neeson) was affectionately called Prok (Professor Kinsey) by his students. He studied and taught the life of gall wasps. He married a student of his named Clara McMillen (Mac) played by Laura Linney, who has the same passion of gall wasps as he did. When they married, they were both virgins and having sex was too painful. They ended up having to go to a doctor to get it “fixed.” The next scene shows them having sex off the bed satisfied. It showed that they had three beautiful kids and talked about how he collected over one million gall wasps.

His graduate students often asked him questions regarding sex being that talking of sex was considered taboo. They thought that oral sex would lead to problems during childbirth and crazy things like that. He asked the dean for a sex class away from the hygeine anti-sex class. The hygiene class (the teacher was played by Tim Currey) was basically a class telling students that they will have sphylis if they have sex and the only way to not get it is not having sex at all. Kinsey wanted a class where people could talk freely about sex. Kinsey began teaching the sex course to a packed auditorium, nevertheless this course is open only to teachers, graduate or senior students or married students. Being that there were so many unknowns about sex he passed out questionnaires which reveled what they thought they knew was completely different from what people really did. He realized that 100 people was not enough for accurate science so he secured funding through the Rockefeller Foundation for research. Kinsey and his team began to travel the USA talking to as many people as they could getting their sex histories. He also at this time created the Kinsey Scale which references how straight, gay and everything in between a person was. At that time he also had his first sexual experience with Clyde Martin (played by Peter Sarsgaard). This is also a ground breaking scene in the movie industry as it was allowed to be shown in Japan for the first time showing a cock. After this, he tells his wife about the affair. She was upset about it, but later came to accept it and even had an affair w/ Clyde later on in the film, which Kinsey was okay with.

The first sex research book Kinsey publishes, which is on the sexual habits of the male, is a large-scale success and a best seller. It gathered lots of attention both good and bad. It shocked the country. (some say it had the same affect as the atom bomb) At that time, the cold war and the search for communists approached which put Kinsey and his team under the microscope. Kinsey and his team was preparing to do a second book, the sexual habits of the female, but with pressure from the government, they lost funding from the Rockefeller Foundation. Kinsey starts to feel that he has failed the people who have been victims of sexual ignorance and he was afraid he would not be able to finish what he started being that his health was failing. He continues to take sex histories and meets an older woman. She explains that she, being married, fell in love with a woman she works with. Not able to talk to anyone about her feelings she fell into deep depression and alcoholism. Kinsey mentions something about society failing people. She looks at him firmly and says, “No, it didn’t. After reading your book, I went to my friend and expressed my feelings for her and to my surprise they were mutual. We have been together now for three years.” It shows how much he affected society in America and around the world.

The movie ends back at the interview room with him being asked about researching love. He responds saying that it is impossible to measure (and with out measuring there is no science). The final scene is of Kinsey and his wife, pulling over to the side of the road for a nature walk. She remarks about a tree that has been there for a thousand years. Kinsey replies that the tree seems to display a strong love in the way its roots grip the earth. He then places his hand on his wife’s and they look into each others eyes. Then he walks away and says for her to hurry up. She asks, “Whats the rush?” He says, “We have sex histories to take.”

My thoughts: Well I think that he was the first step to society accepting that like all mammals, we need sex. It isn’t just for procreation. We enjoy it! If it wasn’t for him, I would not be doing what I am doing today. He was an amazing man and he was married to an amazing woman. I truly believe that his wife and Clyde helped him become the man he was at the end. He inspired people. He told people, it is okay to have sex and masturbate. It is okay to enjoy it! He did all that with out saying that. All he did was show that people were already doing it and people don’t like to be different or out of the norm. I think the reason I like the film is I still believe there is a struggle in society about sex. People still think it is taboo to have homosexual thoughts or to like both sexes. People still think that the dom/sub relationship is something to be kept behind doors and not talked about. I find that people can’t talk about sex equally. Men can talk about sex to Men about women. Women can talk to women about sex with thier men. The only place the sexes can mix with out the pressure of sex to talk about sex is either classes or on the internet (and even there.. there are still people who try). Sex shouldn’t be so taboo. We all have sex and in many different positions. People masturbate.. and that is healthy. There are people that like to be controlled or to control people. There are people that fantasize about being with a guy but only have sex with women. There are people that like sex with men and women. There are so many people out there. We are all different and we are all the same. I just wish society would let us have our pursuit of happiness instead of condemning us because we don’t judge you.

Next (starring Nick Cage) Movie Review
3:55PM on January 29, 2008

Last night I watched the movie, Next. It’s plot line was very simple, a man can save LA from a nuclear bomb if he helps the FBI by looking in the future. I thought it sounded good. It was based loosely on the science fiction short story “The Golden Man” by Philip K. Dick. The film is directed by Lee Tamahori and stars Nicolas Cage, Julianne Moore, and Jessica Biel. The film was released on April 27, 2007.

Nicholas Cage plays Cris Johnson a small time casino magician who can see 2minutes into the future, but only HIS future. We join him on the stage in the beginning of the film doing cheap tricks to a small crowd. We then follow him to another casino where we watch him win small winnings which he expains, “Every once in a while what we think is magic is the real deal hiding behind a $50.00 trick, because the alternative is impossible for others to live with.” He sits down at a blackjack table. The casino security think he is cheating someway, but they do not know how or why he is not betting more. A security team was sent to get him, but he knows they are coming for him so he goes to cash out his chips. There he foils a robbery and then we observe Cris Johnson’s amazing feat of weaving in and out of the casino aisles with out getting caught.

Enter Julianne Moore as FBI agent Calli Ferris. She is determined to find Cris because she thinks he could help them find a nuclear bomb that is suppose to go off in LA by looking in the future. Cris goes to see his friend Irv (Peter Falk whoot! go Columbo!! who is looking old as hell, but still has a sexy ass voice and such a cute cameo appearance), but realizes that the FBI are on his tail. Before Cris leaves Irv’s place, however, he decides to see what Callie knows and what she wants from him. Cris views the future and realizes that Callie knows a lot and wants to use his powers. He escapes from her, but he does not leave town. He has been going to a diner everyday two times a day waiting to meet the one vision he could see far more than 2 minutes ahead, the problem, he doesn’t know if that vision is a week, month or years ahead.

His vision is the beautiful Liz played by Jessical Biel, who looks stunning btw. We watch him go through several different futures until he figures out that the best way to get her is to let her stalker ex-boyfriend hit him. Well, I don’t want to give anything away so let me just say this… PG-13 sucks!! lol. Anyways, we watch him play a cat and mouse game first with the FBI and then with the terrorists where he must save Liz and also save the world.

I would rate this movie a 5 out of 10. There was some good acting and there was bad acting. The plot was a bit shaky at times and the graphics.. well they got the shit end of the stick for what they paid for.. it was like looking at graphics pre-Matrix which was a huge turn off and the ending well.. sucked.

Nanny Diaries Movie Review
3:54PM on January 29, 2008

Ok, so I finally watched.. and I loved it. I knew it would be pretty corny and I was right. It is one of those movies that you just know is going to be sappy so when you need to be cheered up.. it is waiting for you. I have to mention that Scarlette Johanson was HOT and very girl next door! It was also not exactly as I expected the movie. The whole movie has Scarlette Johanson’s character as Annie, an anthropologist/business graduate who trying to figure out the upper class of New York. She is fresh out of school and like many people, confused about who she is and what she wants to do in her future. After another failed interview for a job, she ends up walking in the park where she saves a kid from getting ran over by a guy distracted by a female jogging. Enter the lovely Laura Linney who plays Mrs.X, and she did an amazing job too! Mrs.X is a wealthy Mom who was looking for a Nanny. She hands Annie a card and soon Annie realizes that this is just what she needs in order to “find” herself. Basically Annie trys to win over the heart of Grayor, the boy, and eventually does but not after some very comical pranks. She meets a “harvard hottie” and trys not to fall for him because then she would get fired. Annie is also trying to stay out of the “X”s marriage issues while trying to keep a normal life with her best friend (played by Alicia Keys). I won’t give things away, but this movie was very real or at least it seemed that way. I loved watching the contrast between the upper west side and Jersey (where Annie hails from). I loved watching how Annie was walked all over and I loved the ending! It was a very well made movie. Yes it is a chick flick so beware of that, but it is not a tear jerker at least not for me. I still had a smile on my face when it ended, cheesy, which worked. I give this movie an 8 out of 10.

Doom Movie Review
3:53PM on January 29, 2008

I have not played the game, so if you have do not be mad at me for not knowing things. I still respect the game as I know it is known as the first gory first person shooter game that pioneered 3D graphics. It is one of the few games that I would have loved to played but I can’t play computer games that well. I completely understand how it spawned a subculture and lead many of the computer and videos games out there! Doom is still widely regarded as one of the most important titles in gaming history. It was voted the “#1 game of all time” in a poll among over 100 game developers and journalists so I understand the impact of this movie.

Space Marines are sent to investigate strange events at a research facility on a distant planet but find themselves at the mercy of killers. Starring The Rock as Sarge who is CRAZY, Karl Urban as Reaper who is sexy, Rosamund Pike as Samantha (Reaper’s sister), Ben Daniels as Goat who is a CRAZY guy who cuts himself when he says the Lord’s name in vain, Richard Brake as Dean Portman a nasty disgusting man, Al Weaver as The Kid who is the newbie to the marine team, DeObia Oparei as Destroyer who looks out for Duke, Razaaq Adoti as Duke who hits on Samantha the entire time, Yao Chin as Mac who is the token asian guy, and Dexter Fletcher as Pinky the scaredy cat in the wheelchair. There are tons of suspense in the beginning as they first look for survivors which takes them half of the movie. The other half of the movie was a bunch of running, dieing, blood, guts, and a half baked attempt on a plot line.

About the movie, well it was very graphic in violence and language which I love, but even I was skirmish after some of the comments that Dean Portman made. I absolutely LOVED the first person shooter sequence, but I was under the impression that it was going to be a lot longer and it was the best part of the whole movie! Basically the acting sucked, the graphics rocked, and part way through it I got bored. The ending was good, but hardly note worthy at all. I would give this move a 10 on graphics but a 5 on acting!!

Last Holiday (2006) Movie Review
3:52PM on January 29, 2008

This movie was loosely based on the 1950 movie by the same name, meaning don’t expect it to be anything like the original! Georgia Byrd (played by the beautiful Queen Latifah) is a shy, conservative, sales associate who lives her life thinking about all the things that could be, but not doing anything about it. She spends her time clipping coupons to buy food to cook these amazing meals that she never eats. Instead she takes a picture of it, feeds it to her neighbor, and then eats a Lean Cuisine. She was cooking for a sales demonstration at work when the man of her dreams, Sean Williams (played by LL Cool J) a coworker, approached her. During his flirting she hits her head and he carries her to the department store’s doctor office where she finds out she has only a couple of weeks to live. She goes home and cries. She then decides that she is not going to think about the things she never got a chance to do like meeting Emeril Lagassi or eating meals she cooked. She is going to go out and live her life to the fullest. She cashes in all of her bonds and buys a ticket to Czech Republic to a posh Grandhotel Pupp, even arriving by helocopter.

There she buys beautiful clothes, stays in the presidential suite, orders everything off the menu of Cheif Didier (played by Gerard Depardieu), goes base jumping, learns how to snowboard, goes to the spa, goes gambling and many other experiences. She soon becomes the talk of the hotel. She wins over the hotel’s staff with her forthright manner and kindness, with the exception of the cantankerous floor valet, Miss Gunther (played by Susan Kellerman). She meets Matthew Kragen (played by Timothy Hutton), the businessman who owns the store where she worked. Also at the resort are his assistant-slash-mistress Ms. Burns (played by Alicia Witt), a pandering Louisiana senator (played by Giancarlo Esposito), and a prominent congressman (played by Michael Nouri) . Kragen is skeptical about Georgia’s unknown origins, and becomes paranoid that she has come to Karlovy Vary, CZ with the intent of sabotaging an important business deal he is trying to finalize while there. Georgia’s zest for life is contagious to everyone at the hotel except Kragen. Since Georgia has nothing to loose she talks her mind to everyone and tells them exactly what they should be doing to make them a better person.

This is a great romantic comedy, but I find that it is also a bit of a coming of age movie. The whole movie is her trying to find herself while blowing all of her money before she dies. It is a fantastic movie and the acting was wonderful. It was not quite a tear jerker. The movie is a great family film and was good clean fun! The best part of the whole film was Queen Latifah who really brought out the character! If you want a fun kinda sappy movie, put in Last Holiday! I give this movie a 8 out of 10!

Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause Movie Review
3:47PM on January 29, 2008

Tim Allen dons on the Santa suit once again during this fun new Christmas movie. Scott Calvin aka Santa Clause (Tim Allen) is having a rough Christmas. Jack Frost (Martin Short) is upset because he does not get a holiday so he starts to sabotage the North Pole. Santa does not know it is Jack Frost as he is busy trying to get ready for Christmas, deal with the sabotage, Mrs. Clause is about to have a baby, and the In-Laws are there!! He is running around trying to keep his family happy and trying to ensure Christmas goes off with out a hitch! The problem is Jack Frost has other things planned for Christmas and it does not include Scott Calvin!

Great fun film! The acting was believable. Great message. The graphics were simple. There was some funny parts. I like the film a lot. Tim Allen was made for that part! Great movie for all ages! I give a 8 out of 10!