My Blog :: My thought as I go crazy at ten miles an hour

30 years ago today
3:50PM on April 24, 2011

 Thirty years ago today I was embarking on a new adventure that would change my life dramatically. The scar on my abdomen was just about healed but I was still pretty punk from three months of being hospitalized and not eating. The previous Halloween had seen me vomiting and convulsing every time I tried to eat something. Long about the first of the year I met Cary, a new tech on the ward and we started hanging out.  When they finally cut me open and took out a few things I was pretty wasted from lying around and being shot up with all sorts of odd pain drugs. I had a tube up my nose and ate through a central line for months and aside from being freaked out from not knowing what was wrong I was horribly out of shape.
I stayed at her place instead of going to my folks place when they put me on convalescent leave after the surgery and she never let me leave. Now we were heading to South Lake Tahoe to get married. Little did I know that rather than coming out of the dark times I was heading into crazier days.
We loaded up the car with our clothes some beers and my pickle jar of Cedar Ravine Green and headed up highway 50 to south lake. Cary and her best friend Mary and I heading for a night of gaming and partying before the big day. Sort of a dual bachelor/bachelorette party before the big day. Yes we were young and reckless and I was sipping a beer while driving when the Highway patrol drove by the other way and freaked us out for a few miles. Like everything else that day my luck was good and the flashing lights and sirens that rent the air minutes later flew right on by to track down some other miscreants.
We stayed at a place on the California side that I had stumbled upon earlier that had two bedrooms. Not a suite but separate sleeping areas. We checked in and headed for the casinos of Nevada without really checking anything out. It never occurred to us that there would be any problems. Were we young and nieve? I guess I was but as I said luck was with us and any obstacles were still in the future. For now it was all free drinks and black jacks and a nice run at the tables. It would seem that I couldnt lose and my winnings more than covered the ladies losses. I hate to stoop to clichés but right up until the wedding I was on a roll and afterwards couldnt hit a lick and Cary couldnt lose after we said our I Dos.
Our night at the tables concluded we went back to our stateline honeymoon hideout for a last night of debauchery before becoming a respectable married couple. In the morning Mary emerged from the 2nd bedroom teeth chattering and lips blue as the only heater in the place was in the main room and the second bedroom was freezing. With the noises coming from you two there was no way I was opening the door , she said with a laugh when we asked why she didnt come out and turn up the heat.
The big day had arrived and our simple ceremony plan was about to become a comedy of errors in a big hurry. We began by meeting my family for a nice brunch at the top of Harrahs south lake Forrest Buffet. This was the third wedding for Cary and she was not interested in making a production out of it. She had done the big wedding and having it fail took some of the thrill out of ceremonies for her. I am just not into the rituals of property and religion that most people tend to prize, not that that makes me different from lots of men.  The wedding is for the bride in our culture.
I mentioned that I had been quite ill and was on the mend but Cary had also picked up a little health issue, a time bomb was ticking that we both ignored at our peril. When as part of her training she went through a rapid decompression exercise for the Air Force and developed what was thought to be an inner ear infection. The weekend of the wedding was the first time in a long time that one of us if not both was not bent over a trash can or toilet.    
   We had a nice brunch even though our wishes were ignored. Both my sister and one of my aunts brought their young children. We had wanted the guest list small and no kids but my mother through a monkey wrench into that and my other aunt wanted some payback from when I was a child at her wedding. I had learned long ago that arguing with my mother was pointless. She was a selfish drama queen without equal so there was no point in hurting everyone elses feelings. We ate and headed for the chapel.
That was when the wheels started to come off our story book love at first kiss story. It was funny the next day but at the time it was crazy. Even now I think back and smile about stopping in the turn out at the edge of town Me, my folks, my bride to be and her maid of honor smoking a huge joint of home grown sensimilla on the way to the Chapel in the Pines and a ceremony presided over by the Reverend Love.
Stoned to the bone we discovered that there was a wait at the chapel. No biggie I thought 90 minutes was not too long to wait but there was a catch. That was the only open time slot for that whole weekend and we needed a license. This was the big shock, it doesnt work like the sitcoms where any old drunk can show up and get married.  To get that license one has to go to the count seat.
We did a wild ride Mary, Cary and I over mount Rose at 100 mph to the courthouse and back making it with about 10 minutes to spare. As a cliché plot device in countless mediocre films arriving at the last minute may work but in real life it can make you crazy. Paper in hand we then went into the tackiest office of red velvet cupids and hearts to select our wedding package. Pictures, audio tapes and souvenir leatherette bibles were all on offer for a fee over and above the basic charges for the room and the Pastor. The people in line ahead of us had taken things a lot more serious then we as they had groomsmen in pastel blue tuxes and bridesmaids in the most appalling lime green dresses all holding huge bouquets of flowers. Our pictures had everyone in the wedding party, all 4 of us in dark glasses to cover our bloodshot eyes.
Some one. most likely my niece Amanda asked why her knees were shaking and then we were outside and Linda got her revenge as little Kenny pelted us with rice. All the time I was thinking how wonderfully tacky the whole event had turned out to be.  This was not anything like my picture of a wedding and was not what we planned but after the terror of the flight over the mountain and the now crash from having no more adrenaline I was in a uniquely bliss filled space.
Here ends part one. If you like a happy tale this would be the place to stop as I think I have captured a little bit of the joy of the day. In part 2 reality creeps in and spoils the fairytale.

We took pictures outside the chapel and there were lots of hugs and kisses. We were planning a reception back in town the following weekend so we all went our separate routes home not too long after the ceremony ended. The long wait with the unruly children had worn out, them that brung em so there was some justice that day.
Cary, Mary and I planned to drive back in the morning so we went back to the casino for dinner and drinks. The luck had shifted and now Cary couldnt lose while I was struggling to stay even. The law of averages gets us all in the end. We ended our gambling up enough to pay for most of the trip so that was cool. Everyone jazzed we went ahead and drove back to Marys place in the foothills that night sparring her another frosty nights sleep.
On Sunday we picked up Carys kids from the babysitter and they were immediately pissed because the other kids were there. We went home and got ready for life in the married lane and work on Monday. With the both of us being sick we were not able to take any leave for a Honeymoon. We both had to be back at work at the hospital.
Carys folks were back on the east coast at the time in the process of selling their place to move back to California. A complicated situation I will spare you the details of. We were renting a house from

Cameras going dark for a while.
2:35PM on December 22, 2010

I have been detailing the life changing circumstances I am going through on my other blog. Radmul.blogspot.com but I thought some of my rude friends would like an update. My room mate Don has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. He had a multitude of health problems that he has come back from in the past but this one is a no win situation. I will be bringing him home from the hospital for the last time on Friday and we will begin the hospice assisted dying process. I will be turning my cams off during this period as we will be having friends and family some with young kids coming by.

A night at the lake
2:49PM on August 08, 2008

     Anna looked out the window and smiled silently. The night was dark. A fingernail sliver of moon reflected off the lake breaking up the inky blackness. The day had been perfect,. She and David had walked along the beach, shared a picnic of cold chicken and napped in the warm sunshine. Blowing off work for a day in the woods might have consequences on Monday but that was all the way the other side of the weekend.

       The fire had burned down to embers glowing red in the corner of the room filling it with the sweet scent of pine. That smell made her think of fresh scrubbed floors and clean sheets dried in the breeze. A smile touched the corners of her lips when David’s arms wrapped around her waist.
She leaned back into the firmness of his body, his breath warm as he gently kissed the hollow of her neck. “Want some wine?” he asked. “I can build up the fire.” he said kissing her shoulder.
“Let’s skip that”, she said turning and kissing him on the lips. “Take me to bed.”

       David swept her into his arms his lips never leaving hers as he made for the cabins rustic feather bed. He deposited her gently onto the comforter and let the towel fall to the floor before joining her in its downy folds.
Anna slid her fingers over his shoulders as he kissed her deeply. The smell of his musk blended with the kiwi of his shampoo. This made her giggle softly, her big strong man and his peccadilloes. The giggle caught in her throat as he slipped her right nipple between his lips and sucked it gently. The teasing motion of his tongue flicking softly then retreating drove thoughts of soaps from her consciousness as she cradle his head . His hand cupped her breast keeping it warm as he shifted to the other nipple. His grip was firm and somehow gentle at the same time, he always new when to ease up. Driving her to the edge then backing away.

      Her nipples stiffened standing out a deep red against the pale pink of her small areolas. The oil lamp flickered casting a wan light but she was still able to admire her breasts, pert and flush with blood from David’s loving ministrations. She was proud of her high firm C-cups and relished having them played with. His hands continued their gentle kneading as his lips moved along her breastbone up to her throat and finally reaching her lips. She darted her tongue between his slightly parted lips exploring at first before pulling him closer.

      Kissing him deeply she let her hands trail down his shoulders and over his back. She enjoyed the feel of his weight slightly pressing her into the goose down as she lifted her hips up to grind against him. Then he was sliding down her body once again his lips moving over the soft flesh of her belly after a brief stop at her breasts. Spreading her legs to accommodate him she welcomed his lips on the creamy flesh of her thighs. His freshly shaved cheeks were smooth against her as his moist lips found hers. He spread her labia gently with his tongue lapping at the creamy nectar that was beginning to flow.

       Her clit began to swell as his lips wrapped around it sucking it in and out slowly. One hand firmly kneading her breasts he slipped a finger inside her his tongue flicking her clitoris in a matching the rhythm. She covered his hand grasping it tighter over her breast as she gazed down urging him onward with her eyes. Her hips began move in synchronicity with him then as her urgency began to build she quickened the pace urging him to go faster.

      David felt the nub of flesh harden between his lips as he sped the flicking of his tongue. He looked up into Anna’s eyes blue and focused on him. Her hands slid down to grasp the back of his skull pulling him into her as her hips began to rock and her sweet juices began to flow down his chin soaking the satin comforter. When she through back her head he sped up his tongue as fast as he was able her thighs clamping down over his ears muffling the cry of her pleasure. Her orgasm was the muse he needed to inspire the ragging erection that throbbed between his own thighs.
When she relaxed the grip on his head he moved up her body kissing her left breast then sliding deep into her. Pausing to enjoy the sensation of molten velvet contouring to his swollen cock he kissed her gently before he started slowly thrusting.

      Anna rolled David onto his back being careful not to let him slip out as she positioned herself astride him. She liked the control this position afforded as well as the depth it allowed. She pinned his hands with hers and then ground her hips against his, her pussy swallowing his shaft. Rocking her hips she began to slide up and down her juices lubricating his cock allowing it to slide deeper into her. She felt him stiffen as she bounced faster and faster to match the rhythm of his thrusting hips.

       Throwing back her head she let out a gasp as the heat of David’s climax flooding into her triggered another orgasm of her own. She then collapsed onto his chest in a sweaty sated heap. She watched their shadow rise and fall on the wall in time to his breath feeling the gentle tug at her pussy as his penis shrank away from her. She tightened her muscles in a vain attempt to freeze the moment in time. When the effort failed she reached down beside the bed and retrieved the discarded towel and began to clean up David as he drowsed.

A New Obsession part 3
7:17PM on June 22, 2008

      Sefton knew his partner was lying, the question was why? Dunbar had never warned him without reason in the past, in fact he could only remember his partner expressing concern for his dealing with the cops once before . Thinking back it was a skirt that time as well. This particular piece of tail was spectacular to look at but the Sefton rules for survival said that once the lights went out one piece of pussy was pretty much the same as another. 

     The name on the invoice was one of the credit companies that they did numerous skip traces for. The potential for a problem there was small, shit he may have even run the guys credit and found some prior business. Dunbar was no fool.

     The big question was had the broad been the one that put this guys lights out. Jim must have thought so or he wouldn’t have bothered with the file in the first place. Why would a dish like her feel the need to take out this looser? Sefton got out his notebook jotting down the pertinent details before replacing the file in the cabinet.
He picked up the phone and began checking the dame out in his slow deliberate way. He was the muscle end of the team, Dunbar was the one with the flair for deskwork. That is what made them so successful as partners. By the time his partner showed up an hour later he knew they were in for a bumpy ride.
“Rough night Jim”, he said in an off hand tone. His partner looked like something the cat had coughed up, unshaven, no shower hair uncombed wearing the same suit as the day before that looked like it had been more than slept in.  
    
      “Late night Sef but a spectacular one.” Dunbar said with the hint of a smile crossing his normally dour face. “Spectacular might even be too mild a word.” he finished dropping into his chair.

      Sefton scanned his notes one last time, three cities in as many years and in each a few unsolved corpses littered the police dockets. Mina was the name she used but he could find no record that she was born with it. She appeared to be a skilled secretary as each of her bosses had been sorry to see the dark haired woman with the lovely legs depart their employ but none thought it mysterious. They had been under the impression that the dame had finally bagged a rich husband as most of the hot ones did in short order. He spared Dunbar another glance before pocketing the notebook and consigning the black Mina as he would forever think of the woman to the back of his thoughts. “I’m out for fame and fortune Jim or at least a few dollars.” He chuckled but it sounded false in his ears. “Try not to nod off and hurt yourself.” and with that he hit the streets.

     He watched the door swing closed before going to the corner for a cup of Joe. What had Sefton said, he decided it didn’t matter as thoughts of warm womanly thighs and soft full breasts drove out the false note he had detected in his partners voice. The thick black liquid was having the desired effect but now that he was fully awake he desired even more to be back in Minas bed wrapped in warm flesh and desire. The scent of her was on him, in his every pour and he breathed deep of it.

     They had made love a second time when he had been ready. She spoke little directing him with firm hands and deep moans as he read her body with a skill he hadn’t realized he possessed. When he woke to find her gone he had wondered if he would ever see her again. When the ache of missing her had subsided he had dragged himself to the office and his current dilemma, what was his next move to be? He was still asking himself that question when he nodded off at his desk a short while later.

     She looked at him sleeping as she dressed. His face was calm and unlined in his comma, none of the guile that permeated his waking persona could be seen. As she slipped into her silk stockings she remembered the shudders he had sent through her last night. Few men had ever provided her with that level of pleasure and survived she chuckled to herself. She ran her hands over her thighs and felt the moist heat return. The thrill of the game was back and this time it was all the more sweet as he was in on the game. How far would he go in playing? She didn’t know but thought that finding out might be deliciously fun.

     She inserted a cigarette into her holder and enjoyed the smkoe before treating herself to an orgasm. It was quiet and powerful as she watched him sleep and thought  about the games this one would play with her. Satisfied she finished dressing and left for work. She had no doubt that he would show up tonight to scratch whatever itch she developed during the day.

A New Obsession part 2
6:55PM on May 31, 2008

He waited for few minutes before following her up the stairs. The scent of poison lingered in the stairwell, that had been her fragrance. He thought back to how it had lingered in his office that day and set his resolve. He knocked at the door and waited for her to appear.
The paper said the police had no leads but in spite of that she had spent most of the day waiting for the knock at the door. When it finally came she jumped before smoothing her skirt and putting on a smile before moving to answer it. It was all she could do not to jump again when it turned out to be the dour man in the linen suit. When she got a good look at his face a sense of calm came over her and she knew that the police would not be arriving. This man had put them off her trail for some purpose of his own. A quick glance at his crotch told her what that purpose was. “Come in “ she said in a soft voice turning to walk back to her chair.
“I take it you saw the paper today?” he said following her into the room first with his eyes then with his body. When her only response was a raised eyebrow he continued. “The police stopped by to see me.” Still no reaction. “I thought you might be concerned but I see I was wrong.”
At that her smile reached her eyes and she reached for her holder and a cigarette. After seating the gold filter she brought the holder to her lips and waited till he sprang forward with a match. After a deep drag she looked into his eyes and said, “should I expect a visit from a detective then?”
The lack of inflection in her voice belied her curiosity, “No, at least not from what I told them.” Why couldn’t he read her? That was his stock in trade but he hadn’t a clue what this woman was thinking. The only thing he was sure of was that she had in fact killed the man.
She crossed her legs letting her silver heel dangle provocatively from a silk clad toe. A cone of smoke flowed from her lips obscuring her face and further obscuring her motives. “What do you want Mr. Dunbar,? What is it that you think I owe you?” she asked him. Her tone remained flat but she lifted her eyes drawing him in to the cloud. “If you think I have something to hide why didn’t you tell the authorities about me?”
He took a breath and counted to 3 in a vain attempt to take the upper hand. “I am not sure what you mean madam? I wasn’t sure what your involvement in this matter was so I didn’t set the cops on you.” his eyes continued to shift between her face and her dangling heel. “So you recognize my dilemma then. I could not tell the police about you without dragging myself into the mess.” He couldn’t believe he was saying these words even as they were tumbling from his lips. Why had he decided to hamstring himself so early in the game?
“How very gallant of you mister Dunbar. I thought chivalry had died out long ago but here I am in the presence of my knight in,” she paused for a drag off the smoke. “Rumpled armor.” she finished exhaling another cloud of smoke. Her eyes smiled now that she felt in total control of the situation as she wondered why he had folded so quickly.
“I was acting in my own interest .“ he lied and instantly regretted it. For this to work he would have to surrender completely. She was a woman that wanted to call the shots and if he could not go there he would never have her. And have her he must, that was now the underlying truth of his existence.
“Enough.” she said stubbing out her smoke. Locking her eyes with his She rose slowly from her seat. “Let there be no illusions between us.” she said crossing the room. When she reached the door to the bedroom she turned and beckoned him to follow.
Tucking his tail he followed to the entrance in time to see her kick off the silver heels. He stood mesmerized as she sat down on the bed and began rolling down the black silk stockings revealing each creamy white thigh in turn. He longed to caress those thighs with his lips but he felt welded to the doorway.
She looked at him standing in the doorway as she pulled her toes free from the stockings. “Why don’t you lose that suit? We will have to do something about your sense of style later but for now I think I want you naked.”
His tongue went hard and his mouth went dry as he tried to lift his too heavy arms to comply. His eyes never left her as she unzipped and shed her skirt and blouse the silk fluttering to the floor. He cast off his clothes as she had ordered still unable to leave the doorway his throbbing erection the only part of him fully in the room.
She stopped at her garter belt and bra. Following her instructions he was now fully naked. His body was harder than the cheap suit had led her to believe. Firm white flesh covered in a soft down of light hair with a respectable appendage swelling between muscled thighs. She lay back on the bed spreading her own thighs silently inviting him to drink in the velvet of her womanhood.
The sight of her glistening slit broke his paralysis and he made his way across the room falling on his knees by the bed to worship that perfect vagina with his lips and tongue. Her juices moist and sweet coated his chin, the scent of musk filled his nostrils adding to his intoxication. As he wrapped his lips around her now swelling clit he looked up to meet the harlequin green of her eyes. Flicking his tongue gently at first then faster as her thighs gripped him to her. His lips began to go numb as she ground herself onto his face her clit turning to a hard pebble under hot flesh. She threw back her head grasping him tighter as wave after wave of orgasmic spasm racked her body.
He gasped for air when her grip finally loosened enough for him to lift his lips away from her cum soaked pussy. The heat radiated from her thighs onto his chest as he slid up her body to taste the soft flesh of her breasts before he kissed her neck and lips.
She recovered from the first waves of pleasure to savor the feel of his chest sliding up her belly. Her already erect nipples swelled further as he gently sucked them between his teeth. The smell of his sweat mixed with her musk to form a heady perfume as he kissed the hollow of her neck in just the right way. Deftly she reached one perfectly manicured hand down guiding him into the folds of her vagina before grasping his hips and pulling him down to meet her up thrusting hips.
He let out a gasp as she pulled him into her and her labia molded around his shaft like plumber’s lead around a pipe. Their lips brushed together and he drew in her breath, a melding of tobacco ,musk and poison filled his lungs. He slid in and out of that velvet vice faster and deeper as she spurred him on with her heels. Matching the rhythm of her bucking hips he felt another shuddering climax ripple through her before he was lost in his own orgasmic rush. He wouldn’t have believed it possible but his erupting semen felt hot enough to sear through her body and melt their flesh into a pile of spent flesh. He kissed her gently one last time before collapsing on top of her ecstatic and exhausted a quivering puddle of sweat.

A New Obsession
5:33PM on May 30, 2008

The story was on page three. A man found dead in a studio apartment did not capture the reading publics attention in the same way that the comings and goings on Broadway did but it caught the eye of one James Dunbar of Sefton and Dunbar private investigations. After all he had been at that tiny apartment a week ago checking out the deceased on behalf of a most extraordinary young woman.
She had arrived at his office early, jet black hair framing her alabaster face and ruby lips she exhibited none of the usual characteristics of his customary clientele. Calm and self-assured rather than weepy victim. She had been aware of the effect her remarkable beauty had on him as it undoubtedly did on all men but rather than play the coquette she was all business. They had reached an agreement quickly and the next day he rather than tracking down another deadbeat gambler or cheating husband he had been at the office of this peeping salesman.
The case wrapped in a day and a half nothing remarkable, that was until now that the man from the 5th floor had been found with a hole in his eye. He crossed to the file cabinet the wrinkles in his linen suit smoothing as he stood. The file provided no insight that his memory had not. A salesman of no particular distinction at a company that employed 17 other such unremarkable men. No wife, no kids or girlfriend. No relatives in the city living or dead. No debts, no enemies, no vices other than the apparent habit of obsessively watching this particular woman. And there in lies the rub he thought, this guy was not on anyone’s radar last week and now he was dead lying in a pool of his own clotted blood.
Going back to the desk he lit a lucky strike and retraced his steps in the case. He decided against tossing the file and instead removed all references to the client subbing one of the collection companies that paid the bulk of his overhead and went back to the skip trace that had occupied most of his morning. An hour later he called his partner and gave him the address of the deadbeat and the amount Sefton was to beat out of him. Almost as an afterthought he ended with “watch your back the cops may be around later.” before hanging up.
The cops showed up an hour later proving that he had not covered his tracks as well as he should have. Once again a beautiful woman had caused him to be a bit careless. The question now was what penalty would he be paying. Last time it had been his dignity but this felt like a much more expensive lesson in the making.
The flatfoot watched him dig through a pile to find the file and made notes as he read off the contents of the recently doctored file. The man had that dull Irish looks of the 3rd generation copper. He would dutifully fill in all the boxes but never connect the dots and for that Dunbar was thankful. The boys downtown cared nothing about this case and it would find its way to the unsolved case file sooner rather than later.
When Sefton came into the office with a pile of crumpled bills he passed off his earlier warning as bad corned beef making him jumpy not wanting to involve the big man in his descent into idiocy. Idiocy it was he thought to himself as he was walking down the block to the woman’s building as darkness fell.
Had he caught the obsession from the salesman or had the woman infected him in the office? The question nagged at him and in the end as he waited for her to return from work he decided it did not matter. All that mattered was the curve of those breasts and the legs that seemed to have been molded by the hands of Michael Angelo himself. The way a hint of smile had played at her lips despite the dank office and discomforting circumstances of their meeting. Those haunting green eyes that looked into the depths of his thoughts with a casual ease that disarmed him completely.
She appeared at the corner derailing that train and sending him on a more perilous ride. She did not have the look of a killer. Black silk swayed about round hips and danced over firm calves and rational decisions were not possible in the presence of those lips that drew smoke casually from a long black holder as she walked. Just the same he knew that she had done it. This diminutive beauty had coolly assessed the risk, found it unacceptable and eliminated it without hesitation. This made her even more irresistible to the dour man in the linen suit spending the twilight in the shadows of a stairwell on an unremarkable block of an unremarkable part of the worlds most remarkable city.

Close encounters of the Radmul kind
4:49PM on May 21, 2008

A trip that began with watching Roy Neary play with his mashed potatoes and ended on a wind blown plain in Wyoming was 25 years in the making and with the help of three little birds it is one I will spend a lifetime remembering.
I am by no means ancient but today’s Sci-Fi fans have no Idea how lucky they are that they live in the age of computer-generated effects. Lets face facts the original Star Trek was pretty lame but it was all that we had. That was Close Encounters of the Third Kind. The space ship on the Devils Tower scenes were cool enough to make up for the corn, in addition I did develop a crush on Teri Garr. As with everything Spielbergian it is too schmaltzy for me, he ruined Jurassic Park by not getting the book but that is a separate matter.
The lingering image of the Devils Tower stayed with me as it stayed with Roy and when the chance came I took a day and watched the clouds race across the face of one very unique landmark.
The geologists call this type of formation an igneous intrusion. Magma crystallizes underground forming a Pluton, (named for the god of the underworld) and when the softer sediments erode around it you are left with one ancient hard on. The oldest rocks date to the Triassic period. While the details of its formation are still being debated it is undeniably cool.
The landscape approaching the Tower is straight out of a western film. It sits in the northeast corner of Wyoming near Sturgis S.D. and in the days of the cattle drives
This area was one of the largest shipping points for livestock in the country. Lots of grasslands and Ponderosa Pines the Black Hills are the homeland of the Lakota Sioux. They have some legends about the forming but for me sitting there watching the shadows of clouds drift across the face imagining the millions of years it took to emerge from the earth is much more awe-inspiring. For me the truth of nature is more wonderful than superstitions and legends.
I approached from the south about midday stopping in a large turnaround approximately 10 miles from the base. Had the place to ourselves as in November the tourists are nowhere to be found. The wind blows all the time or so it seems, wind power should do well there and cold. man it was cold.
After fixing a beverage I stepped out to stretch my legs in the sun and take the measure of the place. It was loud; I am talking hard to stand up to rushing past your ears driving rational thought out of your brain loud. The long grass was rippling and the tree branches swayed as a few isolated clouds cast fast moving patches of blackness against the green and grey. Writers throw the term azure blue sky around but that is the only phrase that fits that day. Eventually the wind drove me back inside and the silence was a relief but it was also a disconnect cutting the line to ET so to speak.
No army helicopters with sleeping gas flew over, not a single saucer with flashing lights and sounds like a Simon game landed on top and the few cows and sheep in the fields were immune to the nerve gas if it was around. These were the thoughts running through my mind as my wind chapped face warmed in the gentle rocking of the RV.
A movement caught my eye off to the west as a large majestic bird drew my attention away from the tower. I was expecting a hawk or crow but the white crest and dark brown body screamed eagle at me. I followed his path westward a second bird came into view and then I spotted a third much higher in the sky.
The two lower birds began to circle alternately flaring their wing and tail feathers to catch the wind. They rose 100’s of feet with barely a flap of those graceful wings over several minutes. I thought they were going to join the third and drift off into the heavens but that was not the case. The two stayed about the same level as each other as they rose but always kept a respectable distance from each other. All at once they both folded their wings ducked their white heads and dove at the central point created by their circling. It was so sudden and utterly unexpected that I let out an audible gasp.
After passing within what appeared to be an inch of each other at breakneck speed they spread their wings into the wind and began to climb once again. As the dance continued for pass after pass eventually one bird emerged higher than the other after each run and the two were gaining altitude over time.
As I watched in awe at the power and majesty of their ritual it ended as abruptly as it began. One of the two finally came level with the third and those two flew off together as the laggard turned west and sailed away alone.
I felt a twinge of sadness for that lone bird and wonder how the other two faired. Were they going to mate? Did they nest and start the next generation? I like to think so just as I like to think Roy found happiness on that alien world.
While writing this I learned that Teri Garr has been diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. This is the same horrible disease that claimed my wife Cary. They have a few treatments for it now but still no cure. If you are so inclined drop by here to learn more or possibly help out with a donation.
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link list, as rude does not allow links to outside sites here is a list of the links I used and the words they tied to.

Roy neary   http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/User:Mashed_Potatoe
Wyoming   http://www.devilstower.net/
three little birds http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnDrbagYm24
Teri Garr  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rnDrbagYm24
Speilbergian http://movies.com/steven-spielberg/f1026068
Sturgis  http://sturgiszone.com/picsphotos/biker/pictures/st20070926b.jpg
Azure blue sky  http://www.rfpaints.com/6-ColorCharts/AzureBlue.htm
simon game http://www.java.com/en/download/faq/javacom_changes.xml
screamed eagle  http://www.flickr.com/photos/69114463@N00/270787670/
higher in the sky http://www.flickr.com/photos/69114463@N00/506356869/in/set-72157603568310232/
drop by here http://www.nationalmssociety.org/index.aspx

The conclusion of the Black Mina
6:36PM on May 18, 2008

A painfully stark blue sky greeted her with the morning and she took extra pleasure in the power of her climax. Now that her course was decided she had regained the sense of control that made this situation so exhilarating. She luxuriated in the moment treating herself to a second climax with her elegantly enameled nails glistening as they trail over the flesh of her Mons. The soft down of her pubic hair cushioned her palm as she slid her fingers into the folds of her labia searching for that perfect rhythm to meld mind to flesh. Plunging deeper and faster her breath came in ragged burst as she lost herself in pleasure.
Luxuriating in the afterglow she finished dressing slowly choosing a black silk skirt with matching jacket and a teal blouse. She took extra care adjusting the netting of her hat before sliding the silver accented hat pin through her raven hair. Completing the ensemble with black gloves she lingered in front of the looking glass admiring those same legs that drove the man on the fifth floor wild.
She was running a little late he observed. He thought he had missed her as his climax had drained him almost to the point of passing out but when he recovered he caught her leaving the building. When she turned the corner at the end of the block those ruby lips and jade eyes seem to smile at him in a new way that chilled and thrilled him in the same moment.
Those smiling lips danced in his mind through out the day making him useless at work. After botching a second sales call he gave in and found a bar for a cocktail. Taking a back booth in the dimly lit tavern he ordered a Crown and ginger trying to hide his ragging hard on from the waitress. Judging by her look he had not succeeded. He sipped the drink and indulged his fantasies two alkies nursing beers at the bar his only companions. His boss would read him the riot act on Monday but screw it, someday never comes.
A smile lit her face as she turned right at the corner in her normal fashion. Today she was not going to spend the morning taking dictation from one of the partners or filing the innumerable motions. She would turn the tables and observe the man for a while now and confirm the fact of his harmlessness. She entered the café at the corner and ordered a cup of coffee. Placing a cigarette into the sleek black holder she struck a match to light while watching the counter woman saunter away. The dour man in the linen suit had had provided the address of her stalkers place of employment as well as details on his usual haunts although the latter had been a short list.
Upon seeing him enter the tavern she made her decision. A man of low character was a liability that she could ill afford. With a wistful sigh she entered dimly lit room and took a seat at the bar. The smell of stale sweat and desperation enveloped her as she sent a hard stare at the man from the fifth floor. Ordering a vodka martini she continued to stare daggers until the man from the fifth floor lowered his gaze to the floor.
She sipped the cocktail thinking it was surprisingly well made and waited. She wanted to see the perspiration bead up on his forehead. She took out her holder and loaded a cigarette holding it between dark red lips.
The man stood slowly reaching into his pocket for a match. He crossed the interminable space eyes on the floor darting quick glances at the object of his obsession. Without speaking he struck a light and put flame to black wrapped tobacco. The blood pounded in his ears as she drew breath and the end the smoke glowed red.
She turned back to the bar exhaling a massive cone of smoke into the void behind the bar. She sipped and smoked and nibbled the edges of the green olive conscious of the man standing beside her. Taking her time enjoying blend of flavors on her tongue, that exquisitely long tongue she savored the power. The moist heat was burning at her thighs when at long last she stood and moved to the doorway. She paused without turning for him to hold open the door, she had known he would follow.
He hated the fact that he couldn’t speak, the fact that she led him like a dog to the street but he couldn’t help himself. The sun stung his eyes when they reached the pavement and for the first time he heard her speak.
“We are going to your place.” she said in a throaty tone that caused his thighs to quiver. She was already walking down the avenue when his eyes adjusted and he scrambled to regain a sense of self and follow. The sway of her hips mesmerized him the seams of the stockings moving forward and back in time to the click of her heels on the sidewalk blocked out the noise of the city. He had no idea how long it took but when she came to a stop it was in front of his building.
She stopped and waited for him to open the door to the building. Once inside the foyer let him take the lead up to his fifth floor apartment and through the looking glass.
He stepped into his apartment after holding the door for her and wished that she would speak. Wished that she would instruct him, lead him, help to keep him from fucking this up but some how he knew she wouldn’t. somehow he knew he had already screwed the pooch.
She sat down in the leather wing chair casting a glance to the bed. The room was well furnished and clean but the odor of desperate climaxes hung in the air. As he sat obediently on the bed she reached into her handbag for her smoking materials to cover that smell. Slowly she inserted the gold filter into the ebony holder and brought it to her lips.
He sprang up and lit the cigarette before retreating to relative safety of the bed. His erection painfully obvious he clasped his hands in his lap and lowered his gaze to her feet. Watching as she slipped out of her heels he roughly grasped his erection through the fabric to keep from shooting in his pants. The red toes and seams contrasting the black silk encasing her calves was delicious agony to his swelling testicles. He moved his eyes slowly up to her thighs and hips to see that the black silk skirt was now open to her waist. He dared lift his gaze no further.
She crossed and uncrossed her legs as she drew deeply on the smoke. Exhaling through her nose the fresh smoke and the musk of her sex covering the smell of shame the room held. Stretching out her legs, careful to point her toes she began to slide her hand over curves of her hips and thighs. She smiled at his desperate attempt to delay his orgasm. Her sense power had been restored and with it the thrill of being watched and worshiped returned.
She stood and crossed the room to the bed letting her skirt fall to the floor. She reached out one perfectly manicured hand to his chest and pushed him down on the bed noting as his hands fell away the swelling at his crotch. Deftly she freed his erection with one hand all the while dangling the holder elegantly from the other. Now she locked her eyes on his holding him with her gaze as she gently cupped his swollen scrotum. A gentle squeeze caused him to begin leaking precun from the tip of his swollen member that she used to lube the shaft as she began to stroke. She finished the cigarette setting the holder in an ashtray beside the bed and increased the pace of her strokes. Feeling him stiffen as he exploded he arched his back and shot stream after stream of thick white semen onto her hand. When his eyes rolled back into their sockets she calmly slipped her hatpin from its purchase in dark tresses and plunged it deeply into his brain freezing him in a deadly orgasm forever .
The pin made a little popping sound as she plucked it out several minutes later. She had waited for the blood to clot as she removed all traces of her presence from the apartment. Sliding on her dark gloves she let herself out quietly having solved her dilemma. Satisfaction replaced her excitement with a tinge of disappointment, she had hoped deep down that this one might turn out to be worthy but in the end he had been just another man.

The Black Mina part 4
7:59PM on May 06, 2008


The street was alive in the grey light as she began the ritual. He was there, she had known he would be. A man with a desperate obsession like his was not going to be deterred by a minor embarrassment. She took the morning’s first deep breath of smoke and began stretching out her toes. What was behind those desperate eyes she wondered as she mechanically went through the motions. Stretch, inhale, stretch, exhale, her mind kept returning to the words of the dour man in the linen suit. “Do you think he’s dangerous?” over and over again the thought echoed as she caressed the supple flesh of her calves and slipped them into fresh silk. She saw him collapse back from the window as she snuffed the smoke and enjoyed the usual sense of power but today it failed to bring the moist heat to her loins. The distraction had spoiled the thrill and she was suddenly angry. She felt unclean for the first time in her life and said aloud to the empty room, “So this is how it feels to be violated.” With that realization chaffing at her she dressed and made her way down to the sidewalk.
He had been up for hours by the time she finally began to stretch those supple gams and light the black gold smoke. The thought that he had been found out terrified him. Not that he was concerned about consequences, he had not done anything that could be used against him by the law or anything but what if she stopped the ritual? He was not sure he could face a world in which he did not see those silk stockings being clipped to those white or even better black garters in the morning.
Fear had robbed him of his erection. The terror did not fully subside until she was grinding that gold filter into the crystal dish. In that final cone of smoke he erupted in orgasm. The sudden rush of fluids from his flaccid penis was painful and hot and shocking and thrilling He bit his lip to keep from crying out and collapsed onto his bed. When he came back to himself she was long gone down the block and around the corner. Had she turned right or left?
She had gotten the call from the dour man two days later. She had gone through with the ritual each morning and her anger at the dryness between her thighs had grown with each passing day. She had watched that bastard getting off and seethed. How had she lost the power? More to the point how would she regain the upper hand?
The voice on the phone had a sour tiny quality as he read her the report on the man from the fifth floor. The details of life when rattled off made him seem entirely unremarkable. Middle aged, average height and build he was an editor for a sports magazine that she had never heard of. He had no family in the city and few friends. He paid his bills on time had never been in trouble with the law. His last medical check-up had revealed no illnesses and no history of insanity could be found in his or his dead parents past.
“Did she have any questions?” the tiny voice asked when the recitation had finished.
She could think of only one, the very same question that he had asked her at their first meeting, “do you think he’s dangerous?” she asked trying hard to sound matter of fact in he tone.
“I think he is a bit of an odd duck.” the sour voice said. “With that sort you can never be sure. They can be fine their whole ordinary life and one day.” He trailed off. “I wish I could tell you for sure one way or the other.” he paused for a moment and then added. ,“I can send him a message if you want, you know have a couple of large types warn him off but that gets a bit expensive.”
She thought about asking how expensive but now she was no longer concerned, only her anger remained. “No I don’t think I want to do that.” she paused to light up a smoke. “Not yet anyway.” She thanked the dour man and hung up the phone already thinking about her next move and feeling the moist heat return between her thighs.

The Black MinaPart3
1:00AM on April 15, 2008

The private eye had been a bit of a let down. A dour man in a drab office he had seemed immune to her charms although she felt that might be the case with any woman and this particular dick. In his linen suit with his slight paunch he reminded her more of Capote than Bogart and what did it matter if he was a bit light in his tasseled loafers. After all the women in those movies were usually desperate or weak she was neither.
It took less than five minutes for her to explain the problem and tell the man in the linen suit all she new of the odd stranger from across the street. She watched him make notes on a small pad in a block script. Bullet points for his quest. When she was done he did not ask why and that pleased her. She wanted to know all that could be gleaned of this stranger’s character for the fee of $100 no sideways looks or paternalist questions cluttering things up. He did ask one question and the way he phrased it gave her pause.
“Do you think he’s dangerous?” His tone was flat, matter of fact, not are you afraid of him which she obviously was not but what did she think. Few men asked her questions in a manner that hinted they gave a crap about the answer if it was related to anything other than jumping in the sack. In the end she did not have a good answer, she was here but she still thought harmless. But if he was harmless why was she spending real cash? She decided she would give this private dick the benefit of the doubt and wrote him out a check.

The Black Mina part 2
12:07AM on April 14, 2008

Now he organized his days around the comings and goings of the woman he thought of as his dark angel. He was up before the sun each day showered shaved and dressed in time to watch her wake. To see her kick off the covers and stretch those lovely legs, her toes pointed briefly before touching the floor. Each morning the same yet each time he stiffened as if it were the first. He counted each day now to 900 and just as if by magic the supple legs would come back into view. She would sit on the side of the bed facing the window and slowly cross those creamy white freshly bathed thighs. She would reach to the nightstand for a cigarette holder and one of her black and gold cigarettes. Today she had been wearing white garters. She favored white in lingerie but on occasion she wore red or black. On those mornings he would almost faint when he climaxed.
She used a stick match to light the smoke a bright yellow flair stark against the black paper of the Nat Sherman. A cloud of smoke drifted the length of the holder but her lips always remained just out of view. She drew deeply twice and then began to slip silk over the legs he longed to caress. Slowly she rolled the fabric up her calf stopping to adjust the seam. She was meticulous about the seams and he admired that in a woman. She raised her leg high in the air pointing the toe and smoothing the fabric. When she was satisfied she lifted the dark holder from the crystal ashtray and took another long drag.
A fog obscured her hands as she clasped the garters to the black lace atop the stocking. Another deep draw on the holder and the process repeated with the left leg. He tried to last until she stubbed the gold filter into the crystal dish but the rush of fluids and breath escaping with his pleasure often obscured vision.
He was generally recovered enough to watch her walk down the block and the right turn at the corner. It was at that right turn that he caught his only glimpse of her face for the day. Only her lips actually, her ruby red lips beneath the veil of the hats netting. At least on the days she wasn’t wearing red or black garters.
His watching excited her at first, that night coming home she had begun to pleasure herself when she felt him. Then she sought and found the dark desperate eyes two floors above in the darkness. She could see him rhythmically moving his hand in his groin and she had felt the moistness grow in her own. Watching him spasm and jerk in orgasm a few minutes later had triggered series of powerful climaxes followed by a night of powerful dreams.
The morning ritual that had begun a day later had served to increase that sense of power for her. She would watch his stroking in the mirror as she rubbed her thighs and smoked. It was difficult to hold her climax till he was lost in his own but the control was what had excited her. Now that he had begun to show up at odd times on the street positioned to watch her she was not sure she wanted to be the object of such a serious obsession. At least he had only jacked off in the street once. She had caught his eye and she had seen the shame her catching him had engendered and that was the last time he had been so vulgar of that she was still sure.
She had made the appointment with the private eye the next day. She would get the goods on this mystery man and then decide whether it was safe to tease or not.

The Black Mina Part1
10:55PM on April 12, 2008

The soft clip of her heels on the pavement was the only sound in his ears. She strode down the block away from his chosen vantage point. Her legs while not long were perfectly proportioned and the seam of her stockings hugged the swell of her calves in just the right way. As she slowly receded her hips swaying gently under black silk he followed the black line up and pictured her garters in his minds eye. In that moment of distraction she had turned the corner and broken the grip those thighs held on his mind.
There was a reason he could clearly picture her lingerie. He had watched her dressing this morning before rushing to his perch. Since this petite raven-haired seductress had entered his life he had done little else than watch her every move.
The first time had been innocent enough. He had been leaning out the window to catch a hint of breeze when she had come in from a night out. He looked down into the only light and saw those legs encased in silk. She was seated on the end of her bed legs crossed. First she kicked off one heel then stretching out her leg she allowed the second to dangle from her toes before dropping it to the hardwood floor. She unclipped the black garters and began to roll down first one stocking then the other. Slowly uncovering the supple alabaster flesh of her thighs. He reached down and rubbed the swelling head of his penis as she lay back on the bed. He caught a glimpse of green eyes as she fell back and then was mesmerized by her creamy thighs once again. When her hand began caressing her breasts rivulets of warm fluid began running down his thighs as he fell back inside onto his own bed.
Now he organized his days around the comings and goings of the woman he thought of as his dark angel.

Hoping against hope
2:35AM on February 21, 2008

The world is not fair and when you realize that life has given you a royal screwing and has no intention of stopping anytime soon it can be a rude awakening. With apologies to Steven King and Ferddy Jenklo who learned this at age 10 the truth is just now coming to Hillary Clinton and it probably really bites. I do not particularly like Hill and Bill because they turned out to be self-serving liars that in the end cared only about themselves and how"they could save us" not that as a people we could move forward. They were always reluctant to sell the idea that they were pushing in an honest way. The Slick Willey moniker was easy to sell to the masses because of the circumspect way they parse language. That being said I think she got screwed by the media and a misogynist culture. The wingnuts at fox were going to treat her like a hated liberal no matter what and you expect them to have that condescending attitude toward women that unless they are hot and vapid they are scary. What I was surprised at was how almost everyone else in the media seemed to think that treating a sitting Senator like a housewife was cool. With the Clintons it is hard to tell how much is the hate they engender and the woman factor but the tone seemed to be set early in the race at the debates. While an articulate woman was on the stage answering questions the drooling commentators were talking about how hot Mrs. Kucinich was. the daily show said it best from that point they set her up to fail by calling her the presumptive nominee so that when she hit a few snags it was a disaster. I think what this showed is that middle class white guys are worried about being called racist but sexist they can live with. It was the nappy headed that did in the Iman not the ho's.
Why it worked I have no doubt will be a subject of scholarly tomes for years but you cannot run against hope. Obama inspires and Clinton bores and she may be smarter and more experienced but when she goes out on the stump and says pretty words and speeches don't matter, that it is the hard work that gets things done, that is a loser. She fell into the trap that many competent people do. She thought that it mattered that she had the right answers and we all saw how far that got Al Gore and John Kerry when they had no Zazz. To be fair Gore won despite the Clinton disgust factor. I think that the Senator from New York looked at the monkey in chief and his band of bonobos and thought that the world would jump at competence. I do not know if we will get the change we are hoping for, afterall we are onlyvoting for the chance to vote for a blackman.