My Blog :: Thanks to all of you who have visited my page, watched my video clips, purchased my videos, custom vids, tipped my livehouse Just left me lovely comments, voted, helped with my shows !!! All that great stuff !!! If you love my ass as much as I do, lol, stay tuned, there's more to love !!! I'm always looking for hotness to help with my videos, so, by all means, cum & talk 2 me... I usually have either jokes or some serious questions... hopefully something to make you smile & think... don't forget to vote & comment !!! Smooches, Nilou Achtland Smooches, Nilou Achtland

Good Pickup Line # 2. A Girl Has Said To Me To Get Me Into Bed !
1:35AM on April 26, 2012

I've got milk in my titties . I'll do your body good !

Good Pickup Line # 3. A Girl Has Said To Me To Get Me Into Bed !
1:34AM on April 26, 2012

I want to lick your ass and drink your piss ! Can I be your slave tonight ?

Good Pickup Line # 4. A Girl Has Said To Me To Get Me Into Bed !
1:32AM on April 26, 2012

Can you follow me to my place ? I'd like to name multiple orgasms after you !

Good Pickup Line # 5. A Girl Has Said To Me To Get Me Into Bed !
1:17AM on April 26, 2012

I'm starring in a porno movie ? Would you like to help me learn my lines?

Good Pickup Line # 6. A Girl Has Said To Me To Get Me Into Bed !
1:15AM on April 26, 2012

Do you train cats ? Because you just made my pussy cum !

Good Pickup Line # 7. A Girl Has Said To Me To Get Me Into Bed !
1:10AM on April 26, 2012

Do you like short love affairs ? I hate them . I've got all weekend !

Good Pickup Line # 8. A Girl Has Said To Me To Get Me Into Bed !
1:06AM on April 26, 2012

Would you like to try an Australian kiss ? It's just like French kissing but down under !

Good Pickup Line # 9. A Girl Has Said To Me To Get Me Into Bed !
1:01AM on April 26, 2012

You Know If I were you I would have sex with me !

Good Pickup Line # 10. A Girl Has Said To Me To Get Me Into Bed !
12:39AM on April 26, 2012

First , I would like to kiss you passionately on the lips , then , Ill move up to your belly button !

Nilou's Loca Romper Room (2012 upgrades coming Soon...)
12:36PM on April 24, 2012

Hey everybody Nilou's Loca Romper Room ( live-house & broadcast center ) which you have access right here on Rude and Nilousplaypen , will be getting an upgrade & new look over the next coming months for you perving guys & girls featuring :
 
(1) Fanatsy Room ( for filming & broadcasting with live studio audition ) which will also include 5 perving cameras , hd digital video camera
(2) VIP Club Room ( for swinger parties & stripper fun ) which will include 2 perving cameras
(3) Sexy Bedroom ( for fetishes & naught good fun ) which will include 3 perving cameras
(4) The Whipping Basement ( for spanking asses ) which will include 2 perving cameras
(5) Mini-Day Spa ( for working out & relaxing ) which will include 2 perving cameras
(6) Sinfull Kitchen ( for cooking hot sexy meals ) which will include 1perving camera




The new look and all the upgrades should be finished in winter 20212.....

Nilousplayhouse (New Renovation)
1:12PM on April 22, 2012

* 20,000 square feet (with almost 19,000 shootable)
* All open space (no columns to get in the way)
* 20 foot ceilings (great for those low angle shoots)
* 5 space loading dock (no need for lift gates)
* Parking for up to 100 cars (at no extra charge!)
* 4 stall bath rooms (No lines!)
* 2 huge roll up doors (to bring in cars trucks or large props)
* 400 amps of house power (for flawless lighting)
* Heavy duty over head I beams (for wire work & stunts)
* Almost 200 feet from one end to the other (for the long lens shooting) 
* Smooth concrete floor (for when there is no time for track)
* T-1 internet access (great for uploading movie files)
* Amazing under bridge day or night exterior (with access to power)
* Amazing industrial/urban exterior (in the rear of the facility)
* Awesome shootable roof top (with downtown view)
* Spacious green room (great for separating talent from the set)
* Huge private shootable ally (easily fits 3 cars across with room in between.)
* Craft service Kitchen My favorite (part of a studio)
* Private Office (for the production team)
* Double fenced in entrance (for extra security and control) 
* Multi car capacity in studio (big enough to get driving shots too!)
* Wardrobe/dressing room (great for privacy from the rest of the studio
* Modern sprinkler system (in case pyrotechnics get out of hand)
* Production size trash dumpster (fill it to the top for no extra charge)
* Within one mile of 4 major freeways (convenient for privacy form the maAnd I then added the following: 

Then i added:
* Green Screen Cyc (Over 200 linear feet with a 6 ft radius on the cyc even the big boys only have a 5 ft radius on their cyc)
* Green Screen Treadmill (In case 200 ft is not enough but thats like 3 tractor trailers)
* White Cyc (Over 200 linear feet also with the 6 ft radius on the cyc)
* Black Void (48 linear feet)
* Large assortment of flats with windows doors and bars (Just in case I need a jail)
* Hi-End Modern Furniture (To be used as I wish)
* All kinds of Props (Including hospital, Asian, Moroccan, & many prop guns)
* 20 ton of grip and lighting (Enough to handle most shoots up to 2 million)
* 150 linear feet of heavy duty pallet rack (To store everything. Maximizing shoot space)
* A huge movie distro package (A must for powering those big lights that your DP loves)
* 43 foot Star Trailer (To be used anytime my production team or star needs privacy)
* Remote head jib by Jimmy Jib (and nothing says production value like jib shots)
* Phantom Hydraulic Crab Dolly (by Premier Studio Equipment)
* ProVid Steadicam with low mode
* 3 Final Cut Pro editing stations (In case I just cant wait to get home)
* 24 possessor Macintosh render farm. 
* Movable speed rail lighting grid (Easily get that back light anywhere I DP wants)
* 18 foot rolling scaffolding (To safely reach and light from grid or ceiling)
* Le Maitre Radiant haze generator
* Le Maitre low smoke generator
* An assortment of 650 watt 12k watt dimmers, variaks, flicker boxes (For next level of light control)
* A couple of HVX-200s with the mini 35 adaptors
* A Ziss super speed F1.3 prime lens package 18-25-35-50-and-85
* A huge assortment of tools, power tools, air tools, and a sturdy work bench)
* Tele-prompter (for when my talent didnt the script revision and needs a little help)
* Canon Copy Machine (to make posters)
* Access to every type of crew member from PAs to ADs 

What every woman wants
9:48PM on April 18, 2012

A man is walking down the beach and comes across an old bottle. He picks it up, pulls out the cork and out pops a genie. The genie says "Thank you for freeing me from the bottle. In return I will grant you three wishes."
The man says "Great. I always dreamed of this and I know exactly what I want. First, I want 1 Billion dollars in a Swiss bank account."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and a piece of paper with account numbers appears in his hand. He continues, "Next, I want a brand new red Ferrari right here."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and abright red brand-new Ferrari appears right next to him. He continues, "Finally, I want to be irresistible to women."
Phoof! There is a flash of light and he turns into a box of chocolates.

Girls Night Out
9:44PM on April 18, 2012

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home.

The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!'

Coming Weekend Party
9:41PM on April 18, 2012

A business man from New York decided to quit his job and buy a 200 acre
spread in Montana. One day while out riding his horse, he came across
another man on horseback. The man told him he was his next door neighbor
and he was having a get-together the coming weekend. He said: I have to
warn you though, there will be alot of drinking at this party. The city
slicker said no problem. There will also be sex going on. No problem he
responded. Well, There will probably be some fighting too. I think I can
handle myself, claimed the new neighbor. As he rode off, he turned and
asked the party host. "By the way, what should I wear at the party" The
man, responded "Oh, it don't matter, It's only going to be me and you!"

Spanish Neighbors
9:38PM on April 18, 2012

Armando went to his neighbor and asked, "Hey Carlos, do you
like a woman who has a beeg stomach steeking oll the way
out?"

"No," says Carlos.
Armando asks, "Do you like a woman whose teets hang
almost to her knees?"

"No," says Carlos.

"Well, Carlos, would you like a woman whose heeps are so
mucho grande?"

"Caramba! No, amigo!" Carlos replied.

"Theen tell me why," asked Armando, "do you keep screwing
my wife?"

For The First Time
9:35PM on April 18, 2012

The bride tells her husband, "Honey, you know I'm a virgin and I don't know
anything about sex. Can you explain it to me first?"

"OK, Sweetheart. Putting it simply, we will call your private place 'the
prison' and call my private thing 'the prisoner'. So what we do is: put the
prisoner in the prison.

And then they made love for the first time.

Afterwards, the guy is lying face up on the bed, smiling with satisfaction.

Nudging him, his bride giggles, "Honey the prisoner seems to have escaped."

Turning on his side, he smiles. "Then we will have to re-imprison him."

After the second time they spent, the guy reaches for his cigarettes but
the girl, thoroughly enjoying the new experience of making love, gives him
a suggestive smile, "Honey, the prisoner is out again!"

The man rises to the occasion, but with the unsteady legs of a recently
born foal.

Afterwards, he lays back on the bed, totally exhausted.

She nudges him and says, "Honey, the prisoner escaped again."

Limply turning his head, He YELLS at her, "Hey, its not a life sentence,

4 Kinds of Sex To Life
7:58PM on April 18, 2012

There are four kinds of sex :

HOUSE SEX - When you are newly married and have sex all over the house in every room.

BEDROOM SEX - After you have been married for a while, you only have sex in the bedroom.

HALL SEX - After you've been married for many, many years you just pass each other in the hall and say "FUCK YOU"

COURTROOM SEX - When your wife and her lawyer fuck you in the divorce court in front of many people for every penny you've got.

Feel Like A Woman (Not Today)
10:31PM on April 17, 2012

As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger jumps up frantically and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman."

She removes all her clothing and asks, "Is there someone on this plane who is man enough to make me feel like a woman?"

A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this!".

Gettn' Fired
10:26PM on April 17, 2012

One day Mr. Smith, the president of a large corporation, called his vice-president, Dave, into his office and said, "We're making some cutbacks, so either Jack or Barbara will have to be laid off." Dave looked at Mr. Smith and said, "Barbara is my best worker, but Jack has a wife and three kids. I don't know whom to fire."

The next morning Dave waited for his employees to arrive. Barbara was the first to come in, so Dave said, "Barbara, I've got a problem. You see, I've got to lay you or Jack off and I don't know what to do?" Barbara replied, "You'd better jack off. I've got a headache."

One Handed
10:23PM on April 17, 2012

A teacher was wrapping up class, and started talking about tomorrow's final exam. He said there would be no excuses for not showing up tomorrow, barring a dire medical condition or an immediate family member's death. One smart ***, male student said, "What about extreme sexual exhaustion?", and the whole classroom burst into laughter.

After the laughter had subsided, the teacher glared at the student, and said, "Not an excuse, you can use your other hand to write."