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Threesome
2:56PM on February 19, 2008

1. My First Threesome

Where to begin. My first threesome was actually one of my worst sexual experiences of my life. See, I had these to girls i'd been fuckin for a while. Both had mentioned to me that they were curious about bein wit a girl. I'ma call them "Golden" N "Ticket"

Ok, me and Golden was fuckin on a regular so one wit her night i was like, "aye, i got a girl 4 you. You dont know her but you'll like her" She was like riiite.

So I called Ticket up and told her tha same thing, "aye, i got a girl 4 you. you dont know her but you'll like her."

I pick em up and take em to my crib. It felt real funny at first, me have been fuckin both of em, but never together. them never meetin each otha but bout to fuck. so me, bein the Host wit tha Most, Flame up some dro, and put a porno on.

now, we sittin in the bed, golden to tha left, ticket to tha riite. i'm like fuck it. i kneel on tha edge of tha bed, put tha blunt out, and slowly start lickin up Golden's thigh. At tha same time, ticket leans over and starts suckin on her tits.

i tongue teased her just enough, and her and ticket at this point were all over each otha. kissin, lickin, and suckin all ova each other, they aint even notice i eazed away and relit tha B.

Errthang was perfect. i had 2 black thick ass bunnies in my bed 69ing each otha when everything took a turn 4 tha worse.

Ticket, being the CCQ that she is (Certified Comfortable Queefer) smell tha dro and ease her way ova to me. she thought she was gon hit tha blunt but she was busy given me her best "SUPERHEAD" impression. (so i put tha blunt back out)

I aint gon lie, she was killin me, and i guess golden got a lil salty. I look up at her and she got that look on her face. Me, tryin sooth tha situation, move back over to tha bed and let golden give some head.

SO NOW, i got both of em in my "southern region" and thing are lookin UP again. But then i begin to realize a lil tenison. I thinkin to myself i know they aint. These fools is down there lip-fightin on who gon suck the head. When i say lip fightin, i mean, like forreal lip battle. wrestling, im like WTF!?!?

This went on for at least 47 seconds when finally i had enough and i remember it like yesterday, "Aye, um Ticket why dont you suck the head, and Golden you come up here and ride my face."

Riite as i said that, both set of lips just stopped. now they both tryin to make they way up to me. bumpin and racin n shyt, but in tha chaos, scratched tha shyt out of me. "Nah, man, I'm koo, yal trippin, watch out man. and i got my black ass up, sat in my chair, and smoked tha rest of my blunt.

Now, yea they pissed me off, but aye, i aint no fool. i got over it. when tha blunt was gon we had some of tha freaky sex u could imagine, it was just tha principal of tha matter. i guess thats what happen when u bring strangers together, so if there's any "Bussdown Bunny Duo"already formed... i mean yal on yal shyt, know when to switch n errythang, Holla at ya boi. Until then, as always... STAY CUMMIN BACK $RIITE$ ON TIME!

Volume 3
2:32PM on February 19, 2008

1. (FROM LAST NIGHT) IGHT, I WAS LAYIN BACK AND ON ABOUT THE THRID SONG OF GETTIN KILT (YEA, I KEEP TRACK OF YA HEAD GAME BY HOW MANY SONG PASS BY... DONT ASK) MY GIRL PAUSE AND SAY, "I LOVE THE WAY YO DICK FIT IN MY MOUTH." (HMM... HOW DO U RESPOND 2 THAT?) ME BEING ME, I SAID, " I LOVE THE WAY MY DICK FITS IN YO MOUTH TOO BABY"

2. (LATER ON THAT NIGHT) AS I WAS ON TOP (AND I DONT LIKE TO BRAG BUT... I WAS GOIN THROUGH A THANG) BUT ANYWAY, I PAUSED, AND BETWEEN HER MOANING AND SHIVERING (ITS WASNT COLD...RIITE) I WHISPHERED IN HER EAR, " I LOVE THE WAY MY DICK FITS IN YO PUSSY." SHE LOOKED AT ME AND SAID, "IT DIDNT "FIT" WHEN I FIRST STARTED FUCKIN WIT YOU, YOU MADE IT "FIT" "RIITE"

OTHER RANDOM QUOTES

3. "ITS LIKE...(PAUSED FOR AT LEAST 10 STROKES) YO DICK JUST FITS PERFECTLY IN MY PUSSY. (WHY DO I HEAR THAT ALOT?)

4. "MY COUSIN WOULD LOVE FUCKING YOU" (RIITE)

5. "SORRY YO STOMACH ALL WET...AGAIN" (RIITE)

WELL I HOPE YAL ENJOYED VOLUME 3. I AIM 2 PLEASE

AND REMEMBER... YOU CAN MAKE THE LIST

Volume 2
2:31PM on February 19, 2008

1. Ok, it was Sunday and here's tha scenario:
Place: Back Room
Position: Doggy
Problems: her son sleep in next room, it's pitch black dark

Alright, I was hittin it from the back and all of a sudden i heard this sound. Now, this sound sounded like Michael Vick trying to suffocate one of the pitbulls he was fighting with a County Market plastic grocery bag. (riite)

The sound is drivng me crazy. i'm moving forwards, backwards, to the side, I lifted a leg up in the air (never breaking stroke of course), all in an attempt to quiet this unusual sound.

I finally had enough and reached for my phone. What I witnessed had to be the most beautiful sight I've ever seen in all my days of fucking. (riite)

"BABY, IS THAT YOU?" Both of her cheeks were covered with cum as was my region from belly-button to dripping down my legs. That's when I realized what was making that sound. The sound grew louder stroke by stroke.

"I GUESS I KNOW NOW WHAT PLIES MEANT WHEN HE SAID IF I DON'T HEAR THAT PUSSY SMACKING, IT AIN'T WET ENOUGH."

She turned back, smiled, and said, "RIITE"

2.(girl) "I bet I eat pussy better than you."
(me) "RIITE, I doubt it"
(girl) "RIITE 4 Real! I'm serious. What you wanna bet?"
(me) "How we gon determine who's actually better?"
(girl) "We'll just ask my sister." (RIITE, DON'T HATE)

3.(girl) "I really enjoyed sucking your dick last night daddy."
(me) "me to baby, me too."

4. Another Scenario:
Place: Tellie
Position: Her propped up on the sink, me in front
Problems: None really, just other people in the room.

Ok, it was me and this girl's first time fucking. It's was me, my nigga, her, and her friend (if i say one name, it'll give everybody away)

Anyway, we was in the bathroom riite, and after a good performance (i would've gave it a B+, she thought better though, RIITE) Riite after she came for the umteenth time, she just looked at me and held up her hand as to give me a high five. I'm thinkin to myself, surely i'm trippin. i know she dont wanna high five.

But sure enough, she said, "High Five" I gave her one reluctantly still with a confused look on my face. "High Five? Aw Yea?" is bout all i mustered to say. "Yea, High FIVE"

You know, i've realized, all women have different and unique ways of telling me I pleased them. The High Five would have been up there on my list of most unique, but aye, remember her friend? Yea, well, I fucked her to and she did tha same damn thang! "HIGH FIVE?!?!"

5. And this last quote has to be my favorite. It's definately the most common and most heard. Yet Ladies, you always seem to ask it and I never have an answer for you....

"WHY YOU BE FUCKING ME LIKE THAT?!?!?!"

I don't know. Why not? I aim to please!

Volume 1
2:30PM on February 19, 2008

1. Ok, alright, me and ol girl had been talkin about havin anal sex for quite awhile. Everytime I mention it during sex, it's tha same excuse: "No Lube" Errtime we go to tha store I always forget, and we end up not doin it.

But this particular night, i had bought a bottle of KY Warming Sensation.(that shyt is HOT! I didnt know it got that HOT!)

So, it's somewhere in round 2 and i ask her is she ready. As she went to give tha usual response, i held up tha bottle. She got quiet and just kinda stared it for awhile until finally sayin, "Naw hell naw, not wit that"

"RIITE, why not, you scared?"

Without sayin nothin, she took tha bottle applied some to her hand, and just rubbed it on tha bottom of my sack, as close to my ass i let her get.

"Girl what you doin, quit playin...." and that's when it kicked in. I swear it felt like i was tea-baggin a candle. Aw Naw Hell Naw!

Riite as I felt my rage at about 100, I calmed down and just simply said, "Point WELL Taken."

I got some regular KY tha next day and we been "Cool" ever since. $RIITE$

2. Aw, lol, i just remembered this one. I aint even bein discrete bout this one, fuck them hoes. (Sorry Mama)

Aight, some of yal remember when Ed (FREE BIG GADE) brought them 2 freaks down from ATL wit no money, no clothes, no nothin, LOL. NEWAY, tha bitches said they could braid so i told em i'd give em a dub if tha whipped me up. And I had a tellie for tha weekend so me and my guy took em up. I had tha thick ass black one, i dont know her name. i dont think none of us did. I had her in tha bathroom hittin her from tha back and my guy knock at tha door. Ol girl had went to sleep or sumthin cuz he was like, "Shid, fuck this shit! Let me in!"

She gon turn back at me expectin me to handle it. I did.

"Shid, C'mon in Nigga!"

LOL, why this bitch in mid-stroke jump away from me, and in tha air did a 180 and bashed her ass into tha door to keep him out. Aye, u had to see it to believe how hilarious that shit was.

3. Continued from 2. anyway my guy went away, and i propped her up on tha sink facing me. By now i'm half hard and still laughin bout her aecrobatics. I get to suckin on her tits and she whispered in my ear, "I'm Hungry"

lol, at first i thought my ears was playin tricks on me and she said she was "Horny". Nope. This time she said, "I'm so Hungry. We aint ate nothin in 2 days"

LOL Ed u bogus. LOL anyway, me being tha nigga that i am, i gave her another dub to get somethin to eat, or whateva she did wit it. That quickly turned into i paid her 60 to have sex wit her. Believe what you want, I aint gon never forget that shit.

4. Girl: "Why do you always cum at tha same time you make me cum?"

Me: "Aint That Tha Point Baby?" $RIITE$

5. Girl: "We gon let my cousin judge who eat pussy better"
Me: "As weird as that sounds, I'm gon Win!"

Well, that's another 5 of the Most Outrageoues Sex Quotes from My Sexual Experiences. It's all true, at least, 95% true. i might have forgotten exact quotes, but it is what it is.

Mr. Golden Ticket

"Til Next Time"

$RIITE$