My Blog :: This is where I post my daily, horny life experiences. Readers beware. I'm going to post some dirty things on this blog.

Cybersex Gone Wrong
10:45PM on February 26, 2009

Found this on another forum. It's pretty funny:
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So I was having cybersex the other day. It was pretty good I guess. Here it is:
bloodninja: Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?
BritneySpears14: Aight.
bloodninja: Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.
BritneySpears14: I slip out of my pants, just for you, bloodninja.
bloodninja: Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: Oh, I like to play dress up.
bloodninja: Me too baby.
BritneySpears14: I kiss you softly on your chest.
bloodninja: I cast Lvl. 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.
BritneySpears14: Hey...
bloodninja: I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl. 8 Cock of the Infinite.
BritneySpears14: Funny I still don't see it.
bloodninja: I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty F*ck of the Beyondness.
BritneySpears14: You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.
bloodninja: Don't f*ck with me bitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.
bloodninja: I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl. 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist,
because you are only a Lvl. 2 Druid.
BritneySpears14: Don't ever message me again you piece of shit.
bloodninja: Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots
as flaming piles of metal.
bloodninja: King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist
Republics. The cold war ends. Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.
bloodninja: You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.
bloodninja: Baby?
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Later On.

BritneySpears14: Ok, are you ready?
eminemBNJA: Aight, yeah I'm ready.
BritneySpears14: I like your music Em... Tee hee.
eminemBNJA: huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.
BritneySpears14: Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.
BritneySpears14: I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.
eminemBNJA: Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.
BritneySpears14: What the f*ck, I told you not to message me again.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
BritneySpears14: I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me
kiddie porn you f*ck up.
eminemBNJA: Oh shit
eminemBNJA: damn I gotta write down your names or something

What I Want for Christmas?
9:00PM on December 01, 2008

While Santa is out delivering toys. I want to snuggle up with Ms. C. underneath some missle-toe. Eat her cookies and drink her milk. I got my candy cane condoms. I'll stuff her stockings with joy. She won't need any toys. I'll make it snow on her. Up the chimney I'll go. I'll be saying, "Ho .Ho .Ho. Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good night.

Happiness Poem
9:42PM on July 29, 2008

Brother, what causes happiness?
Let's ask our Pappy?
Ok.
Pappy, what causes happiness?
His answer was a little snappy.
When your mother comes home, is what he said.
And when we put you all to bed.
I began to scratched my head.
I just lost a patch in my brain.
My brother said,
" Remember what happened when that female dog met our dog Fred?"
Yeah.
Fred went humper dee dumpy on her.
Well that what our parents do when we go to bed.
Is that what causes happiness?
No.
But Mom is home, and if we don't go to our rooms we won't be happy.

Dog Dreams
8:25PM on July 25, 2008

To dream that you are a dog having sex with another dog means there will be pleasure and much social activity in your life. To the member who had a dream about this, get your box of condoms and KY Lube ready. It looks like theres going to be a show tonight. Bow Wow Wow Yippe Yeah Yippi Yo.

My Solo
9:55PM on July 24, 2008

I felt a little hot, so I pulled off my shirt, exposing my pecs and abs. Sexual thoughts came into my head. I started rubbing in dick in my pants. I took off my belt, unbuttoned and unzipped my pants. I began rubbing my dick with my boxer shorts. I started to pre-cum. I pulled off my boxers. Now I was butt naked. I started to rub on my balls. I started to pre-cum even more. I massaged the tip of my dick, and then I worked my way down my shaft. OOH. I felt great. I started to jerk my dick back and forth. Faster and faster, I went. I felt my sperm building up stronger and stronger. The volcano exploded. I laid there on my back, thinking about my cumming on the most beautiful person in the world.
The End

Post What The People Want Me To
11:48PM on June 27, 2008

Hello everyone,

There are free special services that I can offer you if you like for me to.
Just ask my to post it on the blog. Your post is my command.

1. Content Reviews
2. Profile Reviews
3. Blog Reviews
4. Dream interpretations
5. Poem Writing
6 Answers to General Questions

What A Blind Woman Wants
11:36PM on June 27, 2008

A blind woman asked her caretaker for a blow-pop, so he went to the store and brought her a Charms Blow-Pop Sucker. He gave to her and she put it into her mouth. She got angry and spit it out. She asked a gain for a blow-pop, and  the caretaker told her that he don't strike women. The blind lady started to cry, until I walked in. I asked her why was she crying, and she told me what happened. I quickly pulled down my pants and put my dick into her mouth. Damn caretaker.

The End

My First House Party
11:25PM on June 27, 2008

My folks decided to go to some kind of convention out of town, and left the house to me. So I called a few guy friends over. My so called friends did come over, but when they did they called other people they knew to come over. I didn't fucking want them to do that I told them. I told them that at house parties things usually get broke. They told me they had everything under control. I was about to tear my hair out when they told me that. But they kept their word. I don't know what kind of magic they did, but we had no cop visits, no broken furniture, no fights, and the only trash that was left was the trash in the garbage. I got lucky that time. There was a scent left, but I aired the house out before my people came back. On TV I have seen some messed up parties, but mine went great.

The End

Sex In College
11:12PM on June 27, 2008

I enrolled in a college, and joined their marching band as a trumpet player. I met a lot of beautiful girls, and got frisky with them. On the bus sometimes I would rub one's cunt or tits. I didn't get caught, but I'm sure my director knew what was going on. Sometimes we would have private parties. We got drunk and partied all night. Sex in college was great. Meeting new girls in college was great. Awhh... College.

The End.

A Night On The Town in New Orleans
11:05PM on June 27, 2008

Before Hurricane Katrina I flew into New Orleans. I didn't do much doing the daytime except laugh at and tip the street acts. When night came, it was on. I visited many clubs as I could, paid for lap dances, and had a beer run. But I got to say, I didn't see any flashers on the street. That got me upset. I was about to flash my dick, but something told me not to. So I went back to my hotel room and slept the beer off. The next day I woke up and took a flight back home. What you know a short time later, the hurricane hit. Will I visit again after all of that? I'm not sure. I know they rebuilt, but still...

The End

May 23rd 2008
10:37PM on May 23, 2008

I went out today to a certain business office. I was going to handle some business, but things changed. I was invited into the office of an very attractive woman. After talking a little business, and after putting a little sex spell on the lady, she closed the office door. She unbuttoned her blouse, started strip dancing, turned around, and bended to the floor. My dick said, "Ding!" This lady was stripping off everything. She had nice medium sized boobs, a plump juicy ass, and Georgia peach to die for. She came and pulled down my pants. And she was about to suck my dick, then my alarm clock went off. I woke up.