How to Properly Place New Employees
8:51PM on June 27, 2009

1. Put 400 bricks in a closed room.
2. Put your new employees in the room and close the door.
3. Leave them alone and come back after 6 hours.

Then analyze the situation:

a. If they are counting the bricks put them in the Accounting Department.
b. If they are recounting them, put them in Auditing.
c. If they have messed up the whole place with the bricks, put them in Engineering.
d. If they are arranging the bricks in some strange order, put them in Planning.
e. If they are throwing the bricks at each other, put them in Operations.
f. If they are sleeping, put them in Security.
g. If they have broken the bricks into pieces, put them in Information Technology.
h. If they are sitting idle, put them in Human Resources.
i. If they say they have tried different combinations, they are looking for more, yet not a brick has been moved, put them in Sales.
j. If they have already left for the day, put them in Marketing.
k. If they are staring out of the window, put them in Strategic Planning.
l. If they are talking to each other, and not a single brick has been moved, congratulate them and put them in Top Management.
m. Finally, if they have surrounded themselves with bricks in such a way that they can neither be seen nor heard from, put them in Government.

Roller Coasters, do you???
4:06PM on February 15, 2009

I am a huge amusement park and roller coaster fan and I want to know what you think about them.

Do you like roller coasters? If so, what is your favorite one? 
*The Raptor at Cedar Point in Ohio is my all time favorite.

When on a roller coaster, do you scream or are you silent? 
*Depends on the ride for me, sometimes I am a screamer. *Suprise!*

Do you raise your arms or hang on for dear life?
*I am gripping the rail the whole time.

When choosing seating, do you sit in the front, middle or back of a roller coaster ride?
*ALL the way up front Baby!!  I love the adrenaline rush!


Licks & Sucks

Juicey

Guts or Balls, know the difference??
4:35AM on February 15, 2009

We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below.

"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"

"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the ass and having the balls to say, "You're next babe."

Valentine's Day is Wrong
3:52AM on February 15, 2009

Men & Women are an odd species.... I am not a fan of Valentine's Day.  Not because I am unloved or lonely, I know quite clearly that I am neither of those.

I believe that Valentine's Day causes more upset, than inspiration of love & harmony between two people.  For days upon days before this particular holiday, men are consumed by an uncanny anxiety over buying the perfect gift(s) for the one they love.

When the big day arrives, many women have expectations of what will be bestowed upon them on this great Day of Love Celebration.
What the men bestow is seen as "a representation of their love".

And in the grand scheme, the ladies generally don't tell the men what they would like to or expect to receive....  Men have no other choice but to GUESS and attempt to read minds.
The woman's girlfriends and kids cannot be trusted to keep it a secret, so they are left on their own on this present collecting trip.

If the gift she gets is not the one she expects, everyone is unhappy.  She thinks he doesn't love her or love her enough, care enough to know her desires, etc...
He is unhappy because she is unhappy, he feels like he looses no matter what he does.

That is no good for anyone from any point of view.

I say.... F**K Valentine's Day and that little azzh0le Cupid!

If you love someone, show them through the whole year, don't put so much into one friggin day.  Buy her a bracelet & a carmel cheesecake April 23rd, get him the new putter and golf bag he wants on October 9th, go on a weekend getaway any time you can, just because you both deserve it!

P.S.  Ladies, let's keep this in mind...
what he REALLY wants is a steak dinner & a blowjob!  ;-)