Started out hustlin, ended up ballin.....
9:45PM on August 18, 2008

So I had to go a weekend without cable and talking to my woman.......damn........hated that b.s. Amazingly, talked to my boys because they all flew out here this weekend to see me and make Tupac/California jokes lol...but it was straight. My mind was still on my woman though, and as each day starts another one ends with her on my mind and in my heart without missing a beat. I love you Anne....

As me and my boys, a.k.a. the soundview familia, started talking, the subject came up about how I literally started out with nothing and came up....granted my dad was in the Army, but even still it wasn't easy and we still lived in one of the worst neighborhoods in the Bronx. To see where I've come from in all this time and where I'm going, my boys were just like "Damn kid". Then my dogs Royce and Rosa chased them around the house, which is always fun......and the nurse kept telling them I needed my nap; that shit right there was embarrassing as fuck. But all in all, it was an okay weekend and my friends did their best to let me know I'm a lucky son of a bitch.....making legitimate loot, own my own house, cars, and a beautiful woman at my side.....working on getting her here on a permanent basis but still, lol.....I'm a blessed man. Ballin is that.....

Why being honest and love only end one way....
8:14PM on August 11, 2008

First and foremost, I want to give glory to God for all he's done for me; given me strength and blessed me with life......even though it has been one hell of a lesson.....

Recently, I was the victim of someone's ignorance.....a group of young men decided ending a young girl's life was their best means of handling a situation and in the end, I wound up getting shot. Three times. The day itself is a blur, but by all accounts everyone else's interpretation of what they saw was I tackled the girl to the ground the minute the shooting started and the end result was my current condition. Congratulations Mr. Copeland, you have officially earned yourself a merit badge. Yah me. I guess I should be proud of myself, or proud of the fact I put someone else's life before my own once again. But the fact is, I don't know why I did it......and I'm not sure what good it actually did to begin with.....

I hate hospitals to no end.....so I asked to be released and, only under the agreement that I would allow a home care specialist to assist me in my recovery, I am now home. The weekend, much like the day I was shot, was a blur........but today, another trip to the hospital and then back home to even worse news.

I can't seem to understand why trust can go so easily when you've done nothing wrong......how it can be violated by a person/persons spite or willingness to steal someone's likeness, image, or identity. I've fought for almost everything I've ever had in life and now once again I'm fighting for the one woman I want to spend my life with....only to have her doubts, her trust, and her concerns (as well as a few ignorant bystanders) cloud and corrupt what we had. Again, done "just because". Separated all in the span of a week....with no answers, and overall I don't know what to do again.

I love Anne.....no woman or man is perfect and neither is this world we live in, but I love you. I don't know what I have to do to prove that to you, but I'm not ashamed to let the world know that I love you and that's all I want in life. If being honest with you from the start and loving you aren't enough, being there with you is the only other way I know of that can show you that not only am I real but that this is right. We are right......I love you.

So I'm not a bitter man......lol....
7:44PM on July 16, 2008

Soooooo every week, a grip of my boys and I have this thing called "The Question of the Week", and we've been doing this for a minute now.....no other reason than we're just a bunch of De-Duh-Dee's. This week's question I'm posing to everyone.....along with my answer so here it is...:" When your Ex comes to you with a problem he/she is having with her new man, do you really give her advice?"

My answer: Considering who my ex is and what she did that made our relationship end, fuck no.  That's not me being bitter or anything, but the minute you lose a person's respect is the exact minute they stop giving a shit about you. I can't sit here and pretend that I can put the past behind me and all that other Mr. Roger's b.s......so the only advice I'd have to give is she find someone who genuinely will give her the answer she needs. lol....