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Pick Up Lines - Round IV
12:07AM on July 17, 2008

I have never had a dream come true until the day that I met you.

I don't know if you're beautiful or not, I haven't gotten past your eyes yet.

Your so hot when I look at you I get a tan.

Excuse me, I think you have something in your eye. Nope, it's just a sparkle.

Excuse me, you are under arrest, for stealing my heart.

Excuse me, can you empty your pockets? I believe you have stolen my soul.

Your beauty is like the universe...neverending!!

Everything that is wrong with you is so beautiful.

We’re going to know each other eventually, why not now?

Excuse me, I don't want you to think I'm ridiculous or anything, but you are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. I just felt like I had to tell you.

Excuse me, do you have a criminal record because it's gotta be illegal to look that good.

Apart from being beautiful, intelligent, and sexy, what do you do for a living?

You are so beautiful that your mother must be the godess of love.

Do you have a map? Because I just keep getting lost in your eyes!

Thank You To Everyone Who Came To My Show
1:04AM on July 16, 2008

I want to thank everyone who came to my first. You are all very special to me. I feel honored that you all came by.

Special thanks to SinCityVixen and MISS STUNNA.

My Five Simple Rules For Sex
3:53AM on July 14, 2008

I live by these simple rules.

First, you make her cum with your mind.
Second, you make her cum with your touch.
Third, you make her cum with your fingers.
Fourth, you make her cum with your mouth and tongue.
Finally, you make her cum with your dick.

(This all must be done in the first sexual encounter.) If you can do that, then you can make her cum with her mind every time she thinks of you.

(Thanks TaQ. I had to blog this comment.)

Male Geeks Finally Get Robot Girlfriends
11:01AM on July 13, 2008

“She’s very lovable and though she’s not a human, she can act like a real girlfriend.”

After years of Sci-Fi films where technology has advanced enough to satisfy our need for love and sex, we are finally starting to see the fantasy become a reality with the release of Japan’s robotic girlfriend.

EMA, Eternal Maiden Actualization, produced by Sega Toys, is 15 inches tall and kisses on command, which is a lot better than the recent release of cell phone robotic friends.

“Strong, tough and battle-ready are some of the words often associated with robots, but we wanted to break that stereotype and provide a robot that’s sweet and interactive,” said Minako Sakanoue, a spokeswoman for the maker, Sega Toys.


Using her infrared sensors and battery power, the EMA enters into a sort of “love mode” and will pucker up to kiss any nearby human heads. She can also walk and dance when in the presence of another human being.

The EMA robot will go on sale in September for around $175 and will be targeted towards lonely adult men. Sega is hoping to sell over 10,000 units in the first year.

It is shocking, with the amount of full size robots being developed and how real looking the romantic dolls are, that they did not create a larger and more life-like version than they did.

I guess they figure if they could afford to pay for a life size one, then they probably don’t need it.

Pick Up Lines - Round Tits...Um Three
9:26PM on July 11, 2008

What would you say to pick up this lady? Try these pick up lines to get her attention.

Hey, I'm looking for treasure, can I look around your chest?

I am conducting a field test of how many women have pierced nipples.

Your chest looks a little sore. Would you like me to numb it?

My friend and I have a bet that you won't take off you blouse in a public place.

Free mammograms, get your free mammograms here, get them while they're hot!

Got two nipples for a dime?

I think that we might be related. Let me check for the family birthmark on your chest.

Brrr! My hands are cold. Can I warm them in your heaving breasts?

You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Are they brown or pink?

Nice tits. Mind if I feel them?

Helpful Pick Up Lines - Round Two
11:15AM on July 11, 2008

First impressions are lasting impressions, so that first line really has to count. Please comment, I want to know what you are thinking. Special thanks to MISS_STUNNA and SinCityVixen702.

*I have had a really bad day and it always makes me feel better to see a pretty girl smile. So, would you smile for me?

*Were your parents Greek Gods, because it takes two gods to make a goddess?

*You know, you might be asked to leave soon. You're making the other women look really bad.

*I think I can die happy now, because I have just seen a piece of heaven.

*So, what do you do for a living besides always making all the men and women excited and warm all over?

*May I be your tear drop? I would be born in your eyes, live on your cheeks, and die on your lips.

*Excuse me. I am writing a term paper on the finer things in life, and I was wondering if I could interview you.

*If God made any thing more beautiful than you, then he keeps it for him self.

*If beauty were time, you would be eternity.

*If you stood in front of a mirror and held up a rose, you would see 2 of the most beautiful things in the world.

*You are so beautiful that you give the sun a reason to shine.

*Your beauty makes the morning sun look like the dull glimmer of the moon.

*If beauty were a grain of sand, you'd be a million beaches.

*When God made you, he was showing off.

*If I was given a nickel for every time I saw someone as beautiful as you, I would only have five cents.

*I can't believe I've been here the entire evening with all these beautiful people and the moment I find 'The One', all I have time to say is "good bye".

*I don't know you, but I think I love you already.

*A thousand painters working for a thousand years could not create a beauty that equals you.

*There is no flower in the gardens of Heaven and Earth that is as beautiful as you.

*Do you know what I did last night? I looked up at the stars, and matched each one with a reason why you are so beautiful.

*When I'm older, I will look back at all of my crowning memories, and I will think of the day my children were born, the day I got married, and the day that I met you.

Pick Up Lines - Round One
6:17PM on July 10, 2008

*Using your index finger to call someone over then say.* I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.

I am an American Express lover....you shouldn't go home without me!

Do you know, your hair and my pillow are perfectly color coordinated.

Excuse me, but do you give head to strangers? No. Well, then, allow me to introduce myself.

Here's a quarter. Call your roommate and tell her you won't be coming home tonight.

Hi, my name is Milk and I'll do your body good.

You ready. Let's go home.

I had a wet dream about you last night. Would you like to make it a reality?

I like your butt, can I wear it as a mask?

I'd like to name a multiple orgasm after you.

My bed is 'The Price Is Right Show', your panties can come on down!

Do you spit or swallow?

No Words Are Necessary
5:44PM on July 10, 2008

I ask if I may kiss you.
You just smile; no answer is necessary.
My initial kiss is just a flirting of our lips.
My tongue lightly flicking.
Like I am asking, "Do you want me?"
The tip of my tongue runs all around your lips.
Touching every part,
Inside and out,
Over and over again.
Tickling you, tickle, tickle, goes my tongue.
Now I press my lips gently to yours.
Rubbing your lips back and forth against mine.
My kisses are hot and fast.
I cannot rest long in any one place.
I have such a need to go on.
I trail kisses of passion all over your face.
Then back to your mouth.
Our tongues dance together.
We are exploring.
I circle your tongue with the tip of mine.
You echo the pattern back to me.
I lick the sides, underside and the top.
You echo back.
I suck your lower lip.
You echo back.
We repeat, repeat, repeat.
The sensations are driving our emotions.
We are wild for each other.
You thrust your tongue in and out.
The movements are rhythmic and stabbing.
Simulating our love making during mating.
I ask again, do you want me?
I can tell that you do.
No words are necessary.

Passion and Erotic Lust - A Poem
2:32PM on July 09, 2008

A touch of skin soft and slippery,
With the hint of hint of sweat.
We fought our resistance beneath the cool sheets,
As the wind flowed from the window above us.
Eyes met briefly and begged for the chance,
To abandon all of our uncertainties.
You began your work on my lips,
Probing gently as if drawing sex,
From a deep well of longing and need.
Then heated tongues met in the midst,
Of hot and quickening breath.
And greedily we drank the wine of our lusts.
Then intoxicated with those spirits,
Our clothes found resting place on the floor.
Piece by piece,
Until there were no hiding places,
For the two glistening and wanting bodies.
Hunger revealed in this hot moment.
Then skin meshed with skin,
As the floor became the stage.
You moved atop of me easily,
And lowered yourself gently.
Kissing me as I was filled with you.
As a gasp broke the kiss,
Your hands stroked the stray strands,
Away from my forehead, then became entangled.
Our slow rhythm gave way,
To urgent and demanding thrusts of passion,
As I arched my body for your comfort,
And you threw me into ecstasy,
With the strength of your blows.
You left me screaming and soaked,
In oblivion again and again,
As you growled my name from the back of your throat,
And our bodies both demanded more,
Each giving to the other,
High on the fluids of foreign substance.
I grasped, then released you,
Grasped then released you,
In effort to relieve you of your control.
The taste of your skin between my lips,
Was like no other.
To hear your cry of mercy,
When my teeth met your warm skin,
Was more breathtaking than you knew.
Yet I still released the control to you.
As you wound your hands in my hair,
And pulled until the flesh on my neck was taut,
You moved with one final and breaking blow,
Forcing our way to the peaks of bliss,
Leaving our screams to echo on like battle cries.
I welcomed the weight of you to crush me,
As you collapsed on top of me,
Still hot and burning,
And I glowing like an ember,
Casting a welcome light,
Should you seek my gifts again.

Why You Should Have Safe Sex - Humor
9:51PM on July 08, 2008

These days, safe sex isn't just a good idea, it's a matter of life and death. Here are some valuable tips to help you "play it safe"...

Do not blow dealers for crack; blow regular citizens for cash, then buy the crack directly.

Think about your parents' nude bodies during foreplay; resultant loss of erection will prevent potential unsafe sex.

Don't fall for lines like, "God protects his servants in the clergy from harm."

Do not, no matter how much peers may pressure you, allow anyone to get to third base with you.

Before unsafe sex, think to yourself what the kids will look like.

Make sure all open sores on penis have thoroughly dried and scabbed over before use.

Before fellating anonymous man in back room of bar, be sure to ask, "You don't have AIDS, do you?"

You CAN get it from kissing... tear out partner's tongue before any mouth-to-mouth contact.

To prevent radiation exposure, use only lead-based condoms.

If you must engage in unsafe sex, take time out beforehand to hope for the best.

Before the use of condoms, unroll completely and check for any holes.

Before you eat her pussy, closely examine the vagina with a magnifying glass.

If you are attempting to suck a dick or lick a vagina that has a foul stench, then you should strongly consider against it.

Before getting into your sexual partner's bed, scan the bed with your portable ultraviolet light for cum and pussy stains.

Spend more time with Rude webcam girls (and guys) to prevent the spread of STDs.

Kids Don't Miss A Thing Joke
12:01AM on July 08, 2008

A restless little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears a thumping sound coming from his parents' bedroom. Finally, one morning he goes to his mom.

He says, "Mommy, every night I hear you and Daddy making noise and when I look in you're bouncing up and down on him."

His mom, taken by surprise, says. "Oh sweetie, I'm bouncing on his stomach because he's fat and that makes him thin again."

The naive little boy says, "That won't work."

His inquisitive mom says, "Why?"

The confident little boy replies. "Because the blonde lady next door comes by after you leave each day and blows him back up!

A Little Old Sexual Humor
11:23PM on July 07, 2008

There was a man who really took care of his body. He lifted weights and jogged six miles every day. One morning, he looked into the mirror, admiring his body, and noticed that he was suntanned all over with the exception of his penis. He went to the beach, undressed completely, and buried himself in the sand, except for his penis, which he left sticking out of the sand.

Two little old ladies came strolling along the beach, one using a cane to help her get along. Upon seeing the penis sticking out of the sand, the lady with the cane began to move about the penis with her cane.

Remarking to the other little old lady, she said, "There really is no justice in the cruel world."

The other little old lady asked, "What do you mean by that?"

The first little old lady replied, "Just look at that. When I was 20, I was curious about it. When I was 30, I enjoyed it. When I was 40, I asked for it. When I was 50, I paid for it. When I was 60, I prayed for it. When I was 70, I forgot about it. Now that I'm 80, the huge dicks are growing wild, and I'm too damned old to squat."

Don't Misunderstand Me
2:49AM on July 02, 2008

I just wanted everyone to understand. I have loved all types of women. I have met the freaks in the streets and the ladies who are freaks in the bedroom. Being down South has been nice if you are looking for the marrying types, but that is what they want, to be married. The moment that a lady has shown you her freaky side then she is looking for a ring.

Damn, I just want a little fun. I understand that I am handsome educated intelligent man who women would love to marry, but I got my needs too. If you approach me, I would entertain you properly. But, I am still a male ho. If you want to fuck me, then say so. Don't act all innocent around me. Also, if you and your friend want to fuck me together. Don't be shy, just do it. In reality, I am a down to earth guy with down to earth needs. I won't fuck you and leave you. I like hook ups. Just don't except me to fuck you then love you. It is not going to happen. I am sorry but I really don't believe in love at first sight.

What do you think?

As I Get Older
8:58AM on June 29, 2008

As I get older, more women fancy me more than I desire them. I have discovered that having sexual relationships or encounters are becoming much easier about every 5 years. Lately, more women have approached me and spoken to me more without restraint about what is on their mind. I did not know that they contemplated about sex that much. I have had some very interesting conversations with interesting proposals. I speculate that as an older mature intelligent man, I am able to relate to women better.

SometimesI Hate Living In Carolina!
6:48AM on June 28, 2008

Damn, what to say? I am a photographer with digital and video editing skills. I did not realize how horny I was until I moved back to North Carolina. There are not enough "true" sexually freaky people here. I mean folks here have sex. They are just so damn undercover with it. I would love to meet some swingers, maybe one or two cocksuckers, or even some handjob ladies. I am not trying to wine and dine any more nuns. So, are there any Northeastern North Carolina (female) freaks out there who want to video tape or pose for erotic photographs?

It seems that all the true prevs live in Cali. I know we got some female pervs in NC. Am I wrong?

Ok, I have finished ranting.

10 Reasons Why Sex Is Better Than School
5:45AM on June 04, 2008

10. Everbody likes sex and nobody likes school, except for virgins and only because they haven't had sex yet.

9. Sex sucks, moans, licks, pumps, throbs etc... School just sucks.

8. After sex you feel like smoking a cigarette. After school you feel like smoking something a whole hell of a lot stronger.

7. You only get disciplined during sex if you want to.

6. Drinking drives people to sex, whereas school drives people to drink.

5. Sex relieves stress. School is the cause of stress.

4. Nothing beats the "hands on" experience you get with sex.

3. After sex you feel like you have accomplished something.

2. Sex is cheaper. Even if you have to pay for a hooker, it is still cheaper than paying thousands of dollars in tuition.

1. At least you have a choice whether or not you want to have sex. At school your teachers screw you regardless.