My Blog :: Lessons learned

To answer questions...
4:46PM on March 31, 2008

I've seen a comment on my video about "where all my juices come from". I honestly can't say I can answer that. I really don't know. It just happens. I'm not always that wet. It's about what inspires me and gets me to that point. Usually it doesn't take much. Depends on my mood and how frequent I masturbate. Sometimes it's 5 times other times I'll wait a day or two and let it build.

If anyone has any ideas for videos and photos. I'm willing to work on it with no promises. But I'm looking for something unique and original.

Shoot me some ideas!

Unreliable
4:28AM on March 30, 2008

Today of all days I just feel totally terrible. I've tried hard to mesh with a friend I really connect with. Problem is, no matter what happens I seem to always let this person down. I promise things and 99% of the time I don't follow through. Seems like its always things that are beyond my control. It's not like I don't want to follow through, I really do! I just have so much going on that what I promised can't be fulfilled right away. So things get delayed. It really makes me look bad. I know it does.

So now the questions that sits with me now is, Am I really unreliable?

It guess it wouldn't bother me so much if this person wasn't so amazing and an outstanding beam of light I've really needed among the dark clouds. It really matters a TON what this person thinks of me. Otherwise I wouldn't feel the need to blog about it.

I think I should listen to what my head tells me. After all actions speak louder than words. I guess it's going time to make my actions known. I know what to do. But redeeming myself is going to be harder than taking the extra effort to just be reliable in the first place.

So, I guess this is my lesson learned for the day. Just think about it next time that you pass up one thing that a friend ask or needs you to do for them. Because now I just don't feel words are enough.

And that.. makes me sad. :(