My Blog :: My mental meanderings, anecdotes and exploits in the Rude way.

Ms Bambie swings at Maria's Ndeavours
6:32AM on October 14, 2008


Ms Bambie swingin’ through the weekend at Maria’s Ndeavours
© 2008 Alley Cat Media

Dateline: September 27, 2008

Rude.com’s YELLADICKGIVER wrote to Ms Bambie, “How's your weekend?” Since he asked, and everyone wants to know, here is the climax of Ms Bambie’s weekend:

Ms Bambie and I attended a swinger party in Los Angeles, near LAX, on Saturday night. Two members of our Naughty Gurlz Parties swinger group met us there for a SwingatMariasNdeavours inter-ethnic party. My friend, Maria the Hawaiian Heat, hosts these parties monthly in Los Angeles and every other week in San Diego. Maria has one of the largest interracial, internet-based swinger groups around with over 50,000 members worldwide.

Ms Bambie rummaged through her walk-in closet and emerged wearing black, skin-tight pants painted onto her curvaceous lower trunk and her sculpted legs. One could get dizzy following the contours of her southern extremities, seasick even, just by letting the mind’s eye roll along her anatomical hills and valleys.

Begin with the gluteal enormousness once called gluteus maximus but, thanks to Rude.com’s Bestchoc, is now known as Ass Almighty. Cartographers know it as Great Mountain of the Massive Ass, a dense, expansive and fortified structure higher than Mount Whitney. The rare air atop that monster of muscularity makes the descent to the femoral biceps (back of her thighs) a thrill ride the rival of anything that Six Flags Over Texas might offer.

Your eyes ski down the chocolate slopes into the small of her knee and then slingshot across her gastrocnemius muscles. Centripetal forces hold you into the descent leading to the Achilles tendon and ‘round the heel. You envision the Hershey’s syrup sweating down her inner thighs and your mouth moistens.

We strut into Maria’s party early, as is my custom, bringing with us Tim and Laria from our swinger group (“Tim” and “Laria” are pseudonyms). Tim is 40-ish, slender, tall and easy going with brown hair and eyes. An ex-Marine (if there is such a thing as an ex-Marine), he carries himself quietly forceful. Ms Bambie, who is turned on by blond hair/blue eyed white guys is taken by Tim’s strong good looks, considers his presentation and speculates as to his “package.” She expects that he is not packin’ much.

Laria is a stout, shapely lady, Asian ethnically, with intelligence written all over her countenance. She is seductive without effort and thick in all of the best, sexiest ways. Laria wears a kimono-influenced dressing gown that hugs her form to wondrous and flattering effect. She is bejeweled in stunning gold chains and rings. Hungry eyes follow her as she crosses the room.

Ms Bambie, after chatting in the sitting room for an hour, retires to one of the bedrooms in the suite to get the party started – with me. As we begin our passionate mattress dance, Tim and Laria begin theirs in the bed next to ours. We like nothing better than serious swingers who come to play, not parry.

Ms Bambie and I are not the focus of this story so I’ll spare you the details. It is Tim and Ms Bambie about whom I want to report.

After dispatching me with her usual efficiency, Ms Bambie showers and looks for Tim. He has deposited himself in the sitting room while Laria and I engage one another in a sizzling liaison that began with succulent fellatio, tenderly rendered. As Laria licks cream remnants from my spigot, Ms Bambie enters the room with Tim in tow. His dick is already battling its girding as his eyes lust after Ms Bambie’s demolition derriere.

Tim falls to the bed, undressing as he alights. Ms Bambie, already naked with bulging, buffed vulva follows Tim, landing across his trunk. Tim’s pole stiffens to full mast and Ms Bambie swallows it in one gulp. Tim gasps as his legs lock. They are off to the races.

Ms Bambie towels Tim’s dick with her tongue, gums and lips expertly, his dick pulsing repeatedly under the assault. His penile veins bulge as Tim’s dick battles for parity in what is Ms Bambie’s turf clearly. Laria and I, in the adjacent bed, are so busy attending to each other that we have to steal glances at Ms Bambie and Tim performing their own mattress mambo next to us.

Ms Bambie moans and sighs as she entertains her salivary glands with Tim’s pre-cum delights; Tim simply moans. Rallying a few minutes into it, Tim wraps his lips around Ms Bambie’s vulva majora. Tim tickles the pussy’s lips with his tongue while working his way to Ms Bambie’s honey hole (not to be mistaken for the Hershey tunnel). Ms Bambie accommodates Tim by straddling his face in the classic 69 position done right. Her pussy is dripping dew and Tim slurps while swallowing; he doesn’t miss a drop. Ms Bambie is impressed.

Twenty minutes into the 69, Tim pulls Ms Bambie from his stalk and flattens her into the missionary position. Ms Bambie flexes her thighs and ratchets her knees up to her ears – “Cum to me, sweetie. Put it right here,” says she. Tim inserts himself and throttles into gear. Tim’s dick swells with excitement and Ms Bambie’s eyes widen – WTF? From where did he get all THAT dick? “It wasn’t there a minute ago,” she seems to say. Tim unfurled his stealth missile to Ms Bambie’s amazement – and appreciation.

He whispers to her, “I don’t cum so I don’t want you to think it’s you. I never cum.” Of course, Ms Bambie takes that as a challenge. Tim begins the piston thrusts and Ms Bambie holds on as his massive meat monster catches her by surprise completely as it continues to engorge. She says to herself again, WTF? Tim is masterful and loving…yeah, loving. He says to her how beautiful she is, repeatedly, and his eyes drip with longing. Ms Bambie smiles at the adoration but focuses on the task at hand. Less talk, more action.

With Ms Bambie’s legs now outstretched and toes pointing skyward, Tim tilts forward onto his toes and bangs away. Ms Bambie bends into a pretzel in response to Tim’s charge, her body forming a letter V. Onlookers roll in and out of the room awaiting their turn with the sexy Ms Bambie but Tim ain’t nearly done. It’s passed the hour mark and he’s going strong.

Slowing to a walk, Tim removes himself from Ms Bambie and drags her ass wagon to the edge of the bed. Once situated, he licks her clit vigorously, dragging his tongue gingerly across the length of her pussy. Tim inserts his tongue deeply into Ms Bambie’s joy tunnel as if searching for a lost watch, jewelry or rare coins. He plunges his tongue so deeply that the back of his throat echoes the sounds of Tim sipping Ms Bambie’s sensuous Moët.

Tim’s wood returns so he remounts Ms Bambie as they round the 90-minute mark. He’s stroking with authority and Ms Bambie, obviously still in awe, holds on and keeps up. Tim layers Ms Bambie’s neck and face with wet kisses, searching eagerly for her mouth. Alas, Ms Bambie kisses only me so Tim’s efforts are deflected. Unfazed, Tim continues the endearments as he tenderizes Ms Bambie’s passion fruit further.

Switch reels. They change positions again and Ms Bambie is back into fellatio, deep-throating Tim’s sausage without gagging. Tim requites Ms Bambie by burying his head in her cum canal. Their bodies link together as they rock the bed and roll the room. They match stroke for stroke, lick for lick, slurp for slurp, and then Tim grabs Ms Bambie’s waist, twisting her into the ass-backward position known as Doggy Style.

Tim grips her hips firmly and plugs Ms Bambie’s juice pot with his pole. He rams her from the rear with a steady, long-pull motion that drags his dick out to its head before plunging into Ms Bambie’s happy harbor, cozying up to his pubis. Ms Bambie buries her head in the sheets as Tim has his way with that pussy. Tim has found the golden ring and ain’t lettin’ go.

Tim pounds away for what seems an eternity before shifting positions again, this time to the cowgirl. Ms Bambie mounts her steed and heads for them thar hills. Riding rambunctiously, Ms Bambie bounds valiantly with her arms held akimbo, later raising them to her head with her elbows cupping her ears. Her spine undulates as an erotic snake in the midst of a seizure, rocking Tim’s resolve.

Over her shoulder, Ms Bambie vets my technique with Laria. We’re embraced in a 77 (spoon) position nearing the end of our event. I am scant minutes away from my own terminal action, pushing my rod as deeply into Laria from the rear as her internal architecture will allow. We are one unit making something as unlikely as love at a swinger party; the heat sizzles from our bed and our own passion immolates us. Unfortunately, this isn’t our anecdote. Pity. It would be a hot one.

Tim flips Ms Bambie back into missionary. Ms Bambie then locks her thighs, trapping Tim’s dick in her juicy pussy’s cavern and rapidly pounds up into him. Yeah, Ms Bambie is now fucking HIM. Just when you thought you’d seen it all. Tim contorts his face in a pleasant way and drives for the advantage. Ms Bambie is in charge now, though. Tim stiffens suddenly in the peculiar rigor mortis of ejaculation. His nutts drain into his condom as he embraces Ms Bambie’s ass and waist with whole arms, exhaling loudly. Tim paints Ms Bambie’s neck with his kisses, massaging her collar with his lips as he savors the orgasm.

Tim apologizes for cumming. Ms Bambie smiles knowingly. They are one for one; this is his first time cumming at a party. This is her first time falling to a stereotype; never again for her. She is now impressed dutifully.

Ms Bambie rises, thanks Tim, then sets off to shower and seek out her next victim. Ms Bambie strides through the sitting room and throws the entire assemblage off-balance. The perfect form of her thighs and ass package drops jaws along her route and fixes many a gaze in her direction. The girl sizzles even as she struts.

Next?


It’s hotter at www.Rude.com/MsBambie - because you’ll LOVE what you see!

Read more of my erotic blogs at www.Rude.com/CalifStyle/blog - each story is true (admitting to just a hint of artistic license).

Lost...and don't wanna be found
4:49AM on September 21, 2008

Lost…

© 2008 Alley Cat Media



We invited Ms Bambie’s fans into our bed again last night. After some amiable conversation, we entertained them with a short presentation of sexual congress. Then we slept.


The next night, Ms Bambie had a taste for Mexican food so we made our way to a favored spot down the road. The drive was uneventful. We entered the restaurant to the applause of all eyes she encountered. The hostess flirted with Ms Bambie lightly as she seated us. Everyone wants some Ms Bambie, it seems.


Her eyes scan the menu in search of that one offering sure to sate her appetite. Liquid eyes in which one swims - Ms Bambie's ocular globes emit an innocent luminescence as they stare into the soul of the computer's monitor and, by extension, into the lust cavities of her legions. Eyes big, bright and endearing reach out from Ms Bambie's countenance to ensnare her fans, friends and enemies. We're all caught in her gaze. Some cozy up to her; others balk but few run. Most lay back quietly attending to their requirements manually and sparing their keyboards. No ratings, favorites or buddy lists for them, just the service rendered, the release and then on to their quotidian tasks. I adore being the one she chooses to freeze in her sights.


The tortilla chips are cold and hard but saved - just - by a zesty salsa. Ms Bambie lets me have the first few, I guess using me as a test dummy. Seeing that I survived the cardboard chips, Ms Bambie wades in chomping, chewing and chasing the chips with salsa. The girl must have 48 teeth rather than the conventional 32 because it's not physically possible to have a smile that bright with any fewer of the pearly whites. Ms Bambie must have cornered the market on Pearl Drops back in the days before bleaching, dental implants, veneers and Zoom. Ms Bambie is quick to smile and enjoys beaming that smile to all onlookers. Her famous grill is what welcomes folks into Ms Bambie's room. And the genuine warmth of that smile keeps us cummin'.


Ms Bambie is decked out in a smart pair of grey, pin striped gaucho trousers. Her ass is arc-welded to the trousers so tightly that one imagines the distress of a completely distended balloon hugging the air around which it is stretched. As we entered the restaurant, eyes followed the movement of that famous ass-span all the way to our booth. The hips rolled generously down the aisles, gripping the seat in its muscled crack as she landed the massive ass mass as might one land a jumbo jet pumped up on steroids. Planted in place, Ms Bambie's booty spreads across the seat's cushion and imposes on my space. I don't complain. Super booty is a good thing - especially when attached to Ms Bambie.


She tops the pants with a tasteful grey blouse that clings to her form from the waist to the boobs and then relaxes its hold. The boobs are magnets for the attention of the guy in the booth across the way. He attempts boldly to eat them with his eyes without alerting his date; he fails. His date abuses him with her attitude. Ms Bambie's breasts escape the clutch of the blouse effectively. All eyes are on them...uh, her. We all hope she drips food, anything, onto those gorgeous bubbles so we can take turns lapping it off. After all, we are gentlemen...and gentle ladies.

But the lips...aw, those lips. I am lost in Ms Bambie's lips. They envelop my tongue and massage my penis. The bottom lip is particularly noteworthy. It is long enough for her to lick her knees without bending; I've seen her wrap that lip around basketballs and toss them full court. Ms Bambie lowers the lips onto her plate and vacuums away the victuals. The lips together purse to lavish the sweetest kisses. Better than sex are those kisses. .

I am lost in Ms Bambie's lips. And I don't want to be found.

See what I'm talkin' about at www.Rude.com/MsBambie - because you'll LOVE what you see!

CalifStyle

Long time cummin': Ms Bambie and Mimi
10:10PM on September 17, 2008

Long time cummin: Ms Bambie and Mimi
© 2008 Alley Cat Media

Ms Bambie licked the last few globules of cum from my stalk as we finished some exhausting lovin. I spent forty minutes at the beginning of this session tongue-mopping her honey hole and chasing her clit as would the Sheriff of Nottingham chase Robin Hood (Hood, get it? Clit. Hood. Never mind.) in Sherwood Forest. After orally dragging three howlers from Ms Bambies innards, I harpooned that pussy with my passion-infused dragon. The down-thrusts from that angry helmet-head lacerated Ms Bambies anterior perineum but that didnt stop meor her. The lovin was great and getting greater; we could arrange for triage after the last nutt. Twenty minutes into this second operation she decided to cum and I opted to cum with her. After all, them's the best nutts. (sic)

Beads of perspiration adorned my forehead as I considered my treasure, the sought-after Ms Bambie. I glided my palm around the contours of her perfectly shaped gluteal mass; imposing, doubled mounds of smooth chocolate perfection. Ms Bambies butter shivered at my touch and then quieted. Amused at the sight of our cum dripping from the lips of her pussy, I wondered, What would she see as a cherry atop this cake?

Ms Bambie is always at the top of her game when it comes to sex and she is always hornylucky me. But this night she smiled as she swallowed the last of my semen and muttered, I want me some Mimi.

Anything for my Ms Bambie. Make no mistake, Ms Bambie loves some good dick but sometimes, often times, she wants some pussy in her grill to round things out. At that moment, Rudes Mimicakes1 was on her mind. Smokey Robinson serenaded the night with Come To Me Soon. Luther Vandross called Smokey Robinson the Shakespeare of Soul; he had it SO right.

Mimicakes1 (Mimi) accepted our invitation to come for a sleepover. It was Mimis first time at our home and Ms Bambie wanted it to be memorable. We arranged for them to use the master bedroom while I moderated the broadcast to their Rude.com voyeur house from our office downstairs.

Ms Bambie had the lights in the foyer dimmed when Mimi arrived. This was to set the mood for the clit-licking firestorm that was to ensue. Mimi smiled faintly as she walked through the door, nervous visibly while at the same time excited at being in the presence of Ms Bambie and Ms Bambies 45-inch ass-span.

They kissed at the door and again at the foot of the stairs that lead up to the master bedroom. With the second kiss, Ms Bambie leaned in, wrapping her tongue around Mimis tonsils and pulling Mimi closely, tightly, to her. Their bodies joined as their flesh gripped one at the other. Ms Bambie enveloped Mimis ample waistline with her left arm and gripped firmly Mimis derriere (uh, ass cheeks for the differently literate among us) with her right hand. Mimi was lifted onto her toes allowing Ms Bambie to finger Mimi delicately. Mimi let a soft moan slip from her throat past Ms Bambies tongue. The sight and sound got me hard. That was my clue that it was goin down tonight definitely.

The chocolate, bubble-butted duo ambled up the stairs entangled in each other, stripping away their outer garments as they went. Their asses masses painted a shadow above that darkened the ceiling lights; they presented two full moons in a total eclipse. My lip drooled as my third leg, my favorite and the largest of the three (you know the one), stiffened again in anticipation.

Reduced to dental floss and parachutes (dental floss in place of g-strings, parachutes to hangar those HUGE mammary lollypops geez, do I have to explain everything?), they set up for the hot tub. Ms Bambie prepared the cameras and tripods; Mimi prepared her pussy. Leon Haywood egged them on with Im Gonna Do Something Freaky To You. Alright, people, sing along if you know the words.

Ms Bambie and Mimi devoured each other with their eyes, ogling back and forth as might school girls who only just discovered their lesbian predilections. I heard the incessant, prepubescent giggling wafting from upstairs and enticing me in the office. My imagination soared as I pictured these thigh-blessed vixens wrapping those hips and hooters around one another. It was a couple hours before the Rude.com group show was scheduled to begin and I was already hitting that fifth star to rate them and reaching for the tip button. A long, steamy night beckoned

I could hear Mimi licking Ms Bambies nipples, broad-stroking those 38Ds with the flat of her tongue, flicking moisture with each pass. My minds eye crossed as it envisioned Ms Bambie pressing Mimi into her breasts, smothering her areolas with the insides of Mimis thin lips. I could almost hear the soft report of undergarments landing on the Berber carpet that floors our master bathroom, leading inevitably to the tidal waves that occur when thunderous ass packages intrude on still waters. Ms Bambie hummed to Curtis Mayfield leading The Impressions as they sang, Never Let Me Go. Theres nothing like Old School to get the feeling across, I always say.

Its Eddie Murphys fault. His song, Put Your Mouth On Me, almost certainly influenced those women. The entire second story of our home swayed as Ms Bambie and Mimi cavorted in the oversized hot tub upstairs. I listened with my gonads as the cameras eye captured and enjoyed the ablutions above me. By now, Ms Bambie had taken charge and pinned Mimis back to the rear wall of the tub. Ms Bambie most certainly was mouth-mangling Mimis sizeable breasts, tossing her nipples to and fro with abandon and relish. I heard Mimi sighing uncontrollably, probably owing to Ms Bambies oral facility. Ms Bambie can make a teat think its a clitoris and she can milk cum or a reasonable facsimile thereof - from both at will.

Pete, Ms Bambies favorite dildo, was slammed hard against the tubs wall, forced into service at the height of the Ms Bambie-Mimi-athon. Ms Bambie, kneeling in the water, encircled Pete with her mouth as Mimi assaulted Ms Bambies pussy from the rear. The water retreated and watched, mouth open in awe and envy. About half an hour into this, the distinctive sound of voluminous water displacement signaled that Mimi was now on her back and Ms Bambie was neck deep in Mimis sugar well. Mimi moaned, shrieked and cried alternately as Ms Bambie rode the pussy home. I know that the camera did not blink; it was probably rubbing its own nutt out at the goings on in that tub.

I grew faint as I tried to work downstairs. The blood draining into my tool robbed my brain of vital supply. My member was untying my shoes it was so hard. And they upstairs continued the sexual assaults upon my mind. Janet Jackson was singing to me about Control. Hell, I just wanted someone to swallow this nutt I was packin. My preferred cum-in-mouth girl was preoccupied at that moment with Mimis clit in her mouth.

The ladies frolicked for another hour or so and introduced Purple Jeff to the world (a gift to Ms Bambie from Rude.coms MrNiceDee). Ms Bambie forced Mimis nutt factory into overtime as she dragged nutt after nutt after nutt from Mimi. Ms Bambie was horny and hungry; Mimi was both beneficiary and victim. Some people have all the luck.

Now it was Rude group show time and I was so ready for some Ms Bambie. It was all I could do to moderate the house. The sounds emanating from Ms Bambie and Mimi engaged in their lustful intercourse kept my penis doing the mambo in my trousers. I could hear Ms Bambie locked between Mimis thighs, slurping her way up through Mimis joy tunnel to Mimis throat. Mimis deep grunts let me know that Ms Bambie was achieving major successes along the way.

The group show and the attendant voyeur houses were well-received. The ladies were hits. After the cameras went dark and The Temptations sang the Smokey Robinson song, "Backstage (from their Reunion cd)," Ms Bambie and Mimi nestled into each others arms to sleep. I retired to the family room downstairs to watch movies on our over

Syndi, my Chi-town booty call
3:37PM on August 25, 2008

Syndi put the "booty" in booty call
(c) 2001 Alley Cat Media - all rights reserved

I met her in the Inland Empire (California) several months ago and we couldn't agree on the nature of the relationship we wanted but she stayed on my mind (every sexual engagement is a negotiation to me). I recalled that she looked better in person than in her online photographs with chocolate skin, baby-fat thighs and an enticing mouth. She's a graphic artist and travels extensively.

While in Chicago on business earlier this month, I called her asking if she was in town. She remembered me and was very approachable, inviting me to visit with her in the lounge of her hotel to chat socially. Of course, she was dressed to kill. As she expected, I made the move on her, successfully, of course, and we retired to her room.

Before we could get in the door good, she assaulted me with a deep, pulsing kiss that made me think she was my woman or something. Her skin was soft and smooth; she smelled of pear blossom and her kiss tasted like a sweet soft drink without the after-taste. She pressed her breasts against me and rubbed her mound against my penis; I stood at attention and returned the sentiment. Syndi was very patient, letting me set the pace. I believe she would kiss as long as I kissed. Her tongue wrapped around mine and occupied my mouth wholly.

Syndi's lips moved to my neck as she helped me unbutton my shirt, seizing the opportunity to latch onto my nipples. I moaned hard. My member nearly burst free from its Calvin Klein moorings. I was on fire and she was the captain. We moved to the bed leaving a trail of clothes - mine and hers - as I self-lubricated anticipating a successful enterprise. Before I could get my slacks to my knees she was engulfing my pole, driving to the base. I could've cum right then! She slurped, undulated and bobbed me into submission, rolling me onto the bed like a semi-conscious inebriate. Pre-cum poured from my Johnson as I struggled to maintain my rep as the 60-minute man. I was hard as blue steel.

Mercifully, she removed me from her oral grip and body-to-body, privates-to-privates massaged me. It made me feel like an 8th grader going down for the first time. She was tender, almost romantic, and chatted erotically the entire time. After a few minutes of this, Syndi rolled over and asked if I was multi-lingual. I hadn't thought of it but, gee, why not? Why come this far and shirk from responsibility? Greek was not my first language but I was not a linguistic virgin, either.

I reached for my Trojans but she beat me and whipped out a Magnum, opening the wrapper and dressing Johnson in one, gliding motion. This girl has had practice. She must have planned this because she was wet and wild - I slid in effortlessly and rode her waves until I tired and the condom mutinied. It must have been approaching an hour as Syndi plucked me from her ass and rolled me atop her with her legs around my ears, inserting me into her yaw with me driving deeply, piston-popping like a 20-year old. I felt my legs shudder and knew it was almost my time; Syndi must have read my body and, somehow, dragged that condom off my vein-engorged hammer, inserting it halfway down her throat.

She sucked and vacuumed until it was all I could do to stifle my moaning (sobbing, really). I exploded in a long, satisfying stream; Syndi took it in stride, swallowing, then licking errant residue up and down my shaft in good measure. She was poetry. Surprisingly, she asked if I would go another round as she had time before her meeting. She owned me with that. I offered that I'd be content to just lay there for a minute to see what develops (nothing did; I was spent).

The night ended quietly. Syndi invited me back mentioning that she was returning to Southern California in a couple of weeks: Great news for me as I live in So Cal. She promised to call me when she was in town. I promised to look her up again. And again. She is for what regular booty calls were designed.




CalifStyle
It's hotter at www.Rude.com/MsBambie - because you'll LOVE what you see!

Ms Bambie and Dimplez: Birthday Booty
2:26AM on July 25, 2008