A Poem I found and want to dedicate to Bonny
7:43PM on February 12, 2010

One of my favoite saying came from the one I love dearest, Bonny and when I found this I just had to post it. Her saying that has stuck with me for so long is:
"No one is Promised Tomorrow"

Roast Beef Low & Slow
9:52PM on February 03, 2010

Roast Beef Done Right LOW & SLOW
First and Foremost you will need a thermometer this is a must!!!!!
Dont even attempt it with out one!

The method: **Sear (see below about my feeling on searing!) Then roast slowly at a low temperature.
In general, roasts cooked using the slow-low method will follow the doneness temperature guidelines of 125 for rare, 130-135 for medium-rare and 140 for medium; that is particularly true of roasts from the rib or loin, especially the tenderloin. But when you are roasting shoulder, round or rump roasts, the doneness temperatures should be adjusted 5 degrees higher; for best results, cooking beyond 145 degrees is not recommended.
For the meat: Take a 4- to 6 or what ever size you want remember the bigger the longer it will take for it to cook be sure it is a boneless one shoulder roast, top round roast or eye of round roast..etc.
For the meat: Preheat the oven to 225 degrees. Have ready a large roasting pan and a skillet large enough to hold the roast.

*****To sear or not to sear I prefer NOT to sear is a very controversial issue among cooks, yes it makes it look nice but 99 % of the people do not do it correctly and there for you will lose a good amount of the juice we are trying to lock in by cooking it the Low & Slow method! So its up to you Clyde wont get pissy if you do it. If you want to read on, but be sure to do it correctly that means HIGH heat and Little or NO oil used and if you do use oil use the right one!!!!******

Pat the roast dry with paper towels. Heat a dry skillet to the HELL the setting YES HIGH HEAT!! Season the meat with salt and pepper to taste, then sear on all sides until well-browned.
Put roast in a large roasting pan with a rack. Place in the oven and reduce the temperature to 200 degrees if you wish or leave it at 225 degrees. If you want you can add a bowl of water in the oven or pour water in bottom of roasting pan for extra moisture. Using a meat thermometer cook to the desired temperature The one that I did shown in the picture internal temperature was 130 degrees
Transfer the roast to a platter or cutting board, tent loosely with aluminum foil and allow to rest for at least 15 to 20 minutes before carving. (At this point, the cooled roast can be covered and refrigerated to carve later.) When ready to carve, discard the fat layer and cut the meat against the grain into thin slices.

Spaghetti "Pi"
9:46PM on November 24, 2008

Preparation:

Chicken Parmesan
3:24PM on November 12, 2008

Ingredients:
6 to 8 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
 Italian style bread crumbs
6 to 8 Slices mozzarella cheese
6 to 8 slices grated provolone
2 to 3 eggs
 Lots of garlic
grated parmesan asiago romano mixture (or what ever you have optional but recommended)
flour for dusting
salt and pepper to taste
oil for frying
Pasta sauce 

Pierce chicken breast with a fork on both sides then place chicken breast between plastic wrap and beat your meat!! But be genital you want it about 3/8” thick don’t over do it.

Salt and pepper both sides then dust the breasts with flour on both sides and let set for 10 or 15 minutes

Dip each breast in the beaten egg coating both sides then in the bread crumbs pressing the bread crumbs on thoroughly

In skillet heat oil to hi heat (350 to 375) add one piece at a time in order not to cool oil to much fry on each side till golden brown

Drizzle you baking dish with olive oil then add a good amount of diced, sliced or crushed garlic add the fried chicken breasts then top with mozzarella and provolone cheese slices sprinkle with grated cheese and top with sauce.


Baked for approximately 15-20 minutes at 450F

Homemade Pasta
8:03PM on November 11, 2008

 PASTA RECIPE

2 Cups all purpose flour
2 cups Semolina flour
1 large pinch salt (appox. 2 Tsp.)
6 large Eggs
2 Tbs. Olive Oil

1. Thoroughly mix together all-purpose flour, semolina flour, and pinch of salt.
2. On a clean surface, make a mountain out of flour mixture then make a deep well in center.
3. Break the eggs into a bowl and mix then add to well of flour
4. Add Olive Oil to well
5. Whisk eggs very gently with a fork, gradually incorporating flour from the sides of the well.
6. When mixture becomes too thick to mix with a fork, begin kneading with your hands.
7. Knead dough for 8 to 12 minutes, until it is smooth and supple.
8. Dust dough and work surface with flour as needed to keep dough from becoming sticky.
9. Cover dough with a bowl or plastic and allow it to rest at room temperature for 30 minutes. (THIS IS AN IMPROTANT STEP DO NOT SKIP IT)
10. Roll out dough with a pasta machine or a rolling pin to desired thickness.
11. Cut into your favorite style of pasta or stuff with your favorite filling to make ravioli etc.
12. Bring water to a boil in a large pot, then add 4 teaspoons salt.
13. Cook pasta until tender but not mushy, 1 to 8 minutes depending on thickness.
14. Drain immediately and toss with your favorite sauce.

Grandma Clyde'sWorld Famous Pasta Sauce
3:12PM on November 10, 2008

 PASTA SAUCE

In a 22 QT (or Bigger) Pan Brown the following:

Approximately 2 pounds Pork Neck Bones**
Approximately 2 pounds Beef Neck Bones**
Approximately 2 Pounds Italian Sausage
Approximately 20 to 22 Meat Balls (see meatball recipe on blog)
1 Large Onion
8 Cloves Garlic

Then add in:

3 Cans (29 oz) Tomato Sauce
3 Cans (29 oz) Tomato Puree
3 Cans (12 oz) Tomato Paste
1 Can (28 oz) Whole Tomatoes
To every can (10 Cans in all) add ¾ of a can of water.
1 ½ cups Dry Red Wine (use cheap wine here folks I use Carlo Rossi’s Paisano or Chianti)

Then add:

1 Hand full Basil (crush in hand while adding)
1 Hand full Parsley (crush in hand while adding)
1 Hand full Oregano (crush in hand while adding)
2 Tablespoons Backing Soda (this will get rid of the bitter taste of the acid from the tomatoes and give you a much better tasting sauce it will bubble up don’t worry this is natural)

NOW THE MOST IMPORTANT PART

Bring to a slight boil then turn down heat to low/simmer and let it cook a MINIMUM OF 24 HOURS remember all the meat went in RAW so it has to cook and cooking it slowly will release the flavors that make this sauce taste the way it does!!!!

This makes a lot of sauce but not to worry it freezes well but you can always half or quarter this recipe if you do not have a big enough pan.

**If you cant find the neck bones you can use any cheap type pork and beef such as soup bones, ribs, chops etc..

CHOUX/ ÉCLAIR/CREAM PUFF PASTRY RECIPE
3:24PM on November 02, 2008

CHOUX/ ÉCLAIR/CREAM PUFF PASTRY RECIPE

1/2 cup butter
1 cup water
1/4 teaspoon salt
1 cup all-purpose flour
4 eggs
Preheat oven to 425 degrees F (220 degrees C).
In a pan, bring water, salt and butter to a rolling boil.
Stir in flour all at once and VERY VIGORUSLY until the mixture leaves the side of the pan and forms a ball using a wooden spoon, beat in the eggs one at a time, mixing well after each. Drop by tablespoonfuls onto an ungreased baking sheet.
Bake for 20 to 25 minutes in the preheated oven, until golden brown. Centers should be dry. (leave in oven for appox 20 min to help dry out)
When the shells are cool, either split and fill them with the custard mixture, or use a pastry bag to pipe the pudding into the shells. For the cream puffs cut in half and fill with whipped cream or what ever you want.

Vanilla Pudding/Custard/Pastry Filling
7:04PM on October 30, 2008



PASTRY CREAM/CUSTARD/PUDDING

2 cups milk
1/4 cup white sugar (homemade Vanilla Sugar of course!)
2 egg yolks
1 egg
1/4 cup cornstarch
1/3 cup white sugar (homemade Vanilla Sugar of course!)
2 tablespoons butter
1 teaspoon vanilla extract (Yes again homemade)
DIRECTIONS
1. In a heavy saucepan, stir together the milk and 1/4 cup of sugar. Bring to a boil over medium heat.
2. In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg yolks and egg. Stir together the remaining sugar and cornstarch; then stir them into the egg until smooth. When the milk comes to a boil, drizzle it into the bowl in a thin stream while mixing so that you do not cook the eggs. Return the mixture to the saucepan, and slowly bring to a boil, stirring constantly so the eggs don’t curdle or scorch on the bottom.
3. When the mixture comes to a boil and thickens, remove from the heat. Stir in the butter and vanilla, mixing until the butter is completely blended in. Pour into a heat-proof container and place a piece of plastic wrap directly on the surface to prevent a skin from forming. Refrigerate until chilled before using.

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Butter Recipe
6:57PM on October 30, 2008

 HOMEMADE BUTTER

2 cups heavy cream
1/4 teaspoon salt (optional but best to use it to last longer)

Pick your way to make it!! And HAVE FUN Some one should do a group show doing it the shaking way!!!

Pour cream into a food processor or blender. Process for 10 minutes, or until the butter separates. Strain off the liquid. Press butter into a small bowl with the back of a spoon to further remove liquid.
OR
All you need to make a small batch of butter is some heavy cream and a jar with a tight fitting lid. A plastic jar is better since if the jar falls it will not break but if you are careful a glass jar is great. A clear jar can tell you haw your better is coming along so it is best if the jar is clear.

First of all take your jar and fill it half full of the heavy cream. Then take the jar lid and place it tightly on the jar. Then take the jar and take turns shaking the jar. It will take a while to make butter so everyone will get a chance to shake the jar of heavy cream. Make a game of it and dance as you shake the jar with the heavy cream in it. Stop and check how the cream is every so often. You will see the heavy cream changing form as you shake it. Eventually the heavy cream will stick to the sides of the jar. This is the butter taking form.

Keep shaking the jar till the sides of the jar has butter covering it in spots. The liquid you see in the jar is butter milk. Pour the butter milk out of the jar and you can use the butter milk to bake something like butter milk bread or you can drink it as it is. You should have a jar of butter after you pour out the butter milk. This butter will need to be washed before you can use it. Wash the better with clean cold water till the water comes out clear. You will have to take a spoon and mix the butter in the jar occasionally to get all the butter to touch the water. When the water comes out clear you have butter. At this point you can sprinkle some salt on the butter and mix in to the butter if you wish.

Take the spoon and take the butter out of the jar and into a container. This butter is ready to use as it is. You can take a cracker or bread and spread the butter on it and eat it. Or you can bake something with this butter. You can use it as you would butter that you buy from the store.

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To Sugar or not.....
11:23PM on October 26, 2008

NOT FOR ME!!!!
You will see in a lot of my recipes there is very littel white sugar here is why and how you to can substitue Honey for white sugar.

First of allHoney is superior to sugar in that it has more vitamins and minerals, is sweeter, and raises one's blood sugar more slowly. It is unrefined and natural. It also will keep your baked goods moister longer. Here's how to substitute honey for the sugar in a recipe.

Here it is plain and simple (I hope)

Up to one cup, honey can be substituted for sugar in equal amounts. For example, you can substitute 1/2 cup of honey for 1/2 cup of sugar called for in a recipe. Over one cup, use about 2/3-3/4 cup of honey for every cup of sugar. This is because honey is actually sweeter than sugar.


Honey is a liquid, so you'll need to reduce the liquid in the recipe a little. Do this at a rate of 1/4 cup less liquid for every cup of honey used in the recipe.

Honey is also a little acidic. To counter-act this, add 1/2 teaspoon of baking soda for every cup of honey used.

Honey causes baked good to brown more quickly, so reduce the oven temperature by 25 degrees F and watch carefully as the time gets close

Now go bake a littel healthier

Chocolet Sauce
2:20PM on October 26, 2008

CHOCOLET SAUCE

½ Cup Heavy Cream
½ Cup Chocolate Morsels (use what you like ex: semi sweet, dark, butterscotch hell even caramel etc.)
2 Tbs. Sugar (use your vanilla bean infused sugar if you want)
3 Tbs. Corn Syrup (light or dark)
1/8 Teaspoon Salt (optional)
1 Teaspoon Vanilla (homemade of course)

In sauce pan heat the cream, chocolate morsels (or what ever), and sugar over medium low heat until the chocolate is 99% melted. Remove from heat and whisk to blend Whisk in the corn syrup, salt if desired and vanilla.

Great over ice cream or any other type of pasty or desert.

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Banana Bread YUM
1:02PM on October 26, 2008


Makes 1 huge loaf or 3 small loaves
Preheat the oven to 350.
In one bowl, combine:

1/2 stick (4-5 tablespoons) butter, softened
2 eggs
2 or 3 very ripe bananas
1 cup plain yogurt
2/3 Brown cup sugar
1 Teaspoon of Vanilla Extract (homemade of course!)

(Use a potato masher, fork, spoon or hands toes what ever you please to squish the banana and mix the ingredients together. It is alright for there to be small chunks of banana in the batter, but you want most of the banana to be reduced to mush.)

In another bowl, combine:
• 1 1/2 cup all-purpose unbleached flour
1/2 cup whole wheat flour
3/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon cinnamon (optional) But highly recommended!!!! But DON’T stop there add some ground nutmeg, ground ginger & ground allspice

Combine the wet and dry ingredients and mix until the ingredients are blended together.
If you like, stir in additional ingredients here, such as chopped walnuts or pecans, dried cherries or apricots, or chocolate chips. A handful (about a half a cup) is about right.
Pour the dough into greased baking pans and bake until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. Small loaves take around 30 minutes, a normal-sized loaf takes around 50 minutes.
Remove from the oven. This bread is great warm, but it is excellent cold too.
After they have cooled for 5 or 10 minutes the loaves can be removed from the pan to cool. Once they are cool they can be individually wrapped and frozen.

Now spread some homemade butter on top YES I said HOMEMADE BUTTER that vid/ Recipe will be cuming soon!
This is the moistest Banana Bread I have ever had/made

The "Ambush" Mix Drink
2:21PM on October 25, 2008

The Ambush

1 ½ Ounces Tequila
¼ Ounce Rum (Dark)
¼ Ounce jagermeister
1 Tsp. Vanilla Extract
Top off with Cranberry/pomegranate Mix Juice

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Vanilla & Lemon Extract
2:35PM on October 22, 2008

 VANILLA EXTRACT

1.75 Liter Cheap Vodka
16 Vanilla Beans (Buy off Ebay)


Using a sharp knife cut a slit down the middle of the bean lengthwise but do not cut all the way through it then cut the beans in thirds.
(I like to cut the tips off both ends off the beans and place them in a container of sugar to make my own Vanilla Sugar)

Add the beans to the Vodka and vigorously shake the Vodka everyday for 30 days try to keep it stored in a dark place if possible after 30 days your Vanilla will be ready I like to let my sit for 6

months to a year so when I get the beans I get a lot of them you can get a lot of beans off Ebay for under $20.00 so make a few bottles and let them set makes great gifts for the cooks.

Also you can use Brandy or Rum in place of the Vodka sometimes I add a 3 or 4 ounces of Rum to the Vodka, but all in
All the Vodka is by far the cheapest and has worked awesome for me, but feel free to play around with it.

 LEMON EXTRACT

1 Pint Vodka
2 or 3 Good Sized Lemons

Peel the lemons with a vegetable peeler be sure NOT TO GET ANY PITH (the white part of the peel)
Use ONLY the yellow!! Chop it in pieces if you like doesn’t matter just makes it easier to get in bottle if you do.
Shake bottle vigorously everyday for 30 days at the end of 30 days its ready and again the longer it sets the better
it gets.

Remember you can make any Citrus Extract using this recipe such as Orange or Lime

Meatball Recipe
12:03PM on October 19, 2008

 

MEATBALL RECIPE
1 Pound ground beef (I use 73% lean)
1 Pound Italian Sausage mild or hot what ever you prefer
1 Pound Ground Pork
3 Large eggs
3 Hand full’s of Romano asiago parmesan grated cheese mixture
1 Hand full of a mix of parsley, oregano and basil (crush in you hands before adding)
Italian style bread crumbs no way to measure this see directions below

In a large bowl combine all ingredients EXCEPT FOR BREAD CRUMBS mix well with hands add bread crumbs a hand full at a time and mix well keep adding until your hands come fairly clean and the mixture is holding together. Roll into what ever size balls you like I make them a little bitter bigger than the size of a golf ball. Now you can either drop them in your sauce and let them cook in there (Clyde’s preferred way) or roast them first you can also freeze them at this point to use when ever you like.

Enjoy
Ciao
Clyde
ps: Yes those are bonny's frozen treats in there next to them LMAO
 

Pizza Dough/sauce Recipe
8:35PM on October 17, 2008

PIZZA DOUGH

3 1/2 cups flour
1 cup warm water
2 tablespoons yeast
2 tablespoons honey
1/4 cup olive oil
1/2 teaspoon salt


To Mix Dough by Hand:
Pour warm water into a bowl. The water should be about 85 to 115° F. Test it with your hand. It should feel very warm, but comfortable. Add the honey and salt. Mix on low until well blended. Add the yeast and mix. Let this mixture sit for about 5 minutes. Add 1 cup of flour and the olive oil and mix until well blended. Add the rest of the flour (and any other additions) and mix well. The dough should turn into a ball. If the dough does not ball up because it's too dry, add water one tablespoon at a time until it does. If your mixture is more like a batter, add flour one tablespoon at a time. Adding water or flour as needed to get the right consistency will assure you always get a perfect dough. Just remember to do it in small amounts.

Once the dough is balled up, place the ball on a floured board and knead for about a minute. This builds the gluten which helps the dough to rise and become fluffy when cooked. Place the dough in a plastic grocery bag or a covered bowl and store in a warm, dry area to rise.
After about 45 minutes the dough should have about doubled in size. Show it who's boss and punch it down. That's right, give it a good smack so it deflates. Let it rise for another hour to an hour and a half. The dough is now ready to be rolled out. You can punch the dough down one more time if you want and wait another hour or two before rolling out.
Now go for it thick or thin loaded or skimpy play with the ingredients add herbs or what ever sounds good different sauces are good as well!!

Redeemer Clyde’s Rule: “Play With Yourself Play With your Food”

PIZZA SAUCE

Ingredients:
• Garlic powder as much as you like (or use fresh smashed and chopped)
• Onion powder as much as you like (or use fresh chopped fine)
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 can (6 ounces) tomato paste
• 1 can (8 ounces) crushed tomatoes
• 6 Ounces of water (plus or minus depending how you like it)
• 1/2 hand full of a mix oregano, basil & parsley
• 1 tablespoon olive oil
• 1 teaspoon of baking soda (takes the bitterness out)
• 1/4 cup of Dago Red Wine (of your choice cheap is good here)
• dash red pepper, optional
Preparation:
Combine all ingredients in pan heat till warm if you have time let it cook a bit gets better the longer cooked this is enough for about 4 medeum size pizzas.

"Play with it" add or subtract what ever you want cooking should be fun!

This Sauce Makes Bonny Squirt

The Funny Page
9:02AM on October 17, 2008

Hi all and welcome this page will be dedicated for jokes of all types. If you have a GOOD one please add it in the comment area.
Thanks and enjoy!

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session
with four young Mothers and their small children.

'You all have obsessions,' he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, 'You are obsessed
with eating. You've even named your daughter Candy.'

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: 'Your obsession is
with money. Again, it manifests itself in your child's name,
Penny.'

He turned to the third Mom, Joyce: 'Your obsession is
alcohol. This too shows itself in your child's name, Brandy.'

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, quietly got up, took
her little boy by the hand and whispered, 'Come on, Dick,
we're leaving. Your brothers Peter and Willy are waiting for us.''

=====================================================================================

FIRST YEAR MED SCHOOL
First-year students at Med School were
receiving their first anatomy class with a
real dead human body. They all gathered
around the surgery table with the body
covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling
them, "In medicine, it is necessary to have
2 important qualities as a doctor. The
first is that you not be disgusted by
anything involving the human body.

" For an example, the Professor pulled
back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt
of the corpse, withdrew it and stuck his
finger in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told
his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for
several minutes, but
eventually took turns sticking a finger in
the butt of the dead body and sucking on it.

When everyone had finished, the Professor looked at them and told them, "The second most important quality is observation.
I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention."

Nursing Home Cop
An old lady in a nursing home is wheeling up and down the halls in her wheelchair making sounds like she's driving a car. As she's going down the hall, an old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but you were speeding. Can I see your driver's license?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a candy wrapper, and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her a warning and sends her on her way. Up and down the halls she goes again. Again, the same old man jumps out of a room and says, "Excuse me ma'am but I saw you cross over the center line back there. Can I see your registration please?" She digs around in her purse a little, pulls out a store receipt and hands it to him. He looks it over, gives her another warning and sends her on her way. She zooms off again up and down the halls weaving all over. As she comes to the old man's room again, he jumps out. He's stark naked and has an erection! The old lady in the wheel chair looks up and says, "Oh, no, not the Breathalyzer again!"


=====================================================================================

Larry came home late one night and his wife asked him, “Where in the hell have you been?” After a moment, Larry replied, “I was out getting a tattoo.”

“A tattoo?” she frowned. “What kind of tattoo did you get?”
“I got a hundred Dollar Bill put on my dick,” he said proudly.
“What the hell were you thinking?” she said, shaking her head in disdain. “Why on earth would you get a hundred Dollar Bill tattooed on his penis?”

“Well, since I am an accountant theres four reasons... first I like to watch my money grow.... Second once in a while I like to play with my money. Three…I like how money feels in my hand. And, lastly…instead of you going out wasting money on shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow 100 Bucks anytime you want.”

======================================================================================

A middle-aged wife had just returned to the house on Saturday afternoon after a shopping trip. She was quite agitated, and proceeded to tell her husband about a certain shoe salesman who had been rude.
It seems she was sitting down while he helped her try on various shoes, and happened to glance up and notice that she was not wearing any panties under her dress. Without even thinking, he just blurted out, "If that thing was full of ice cream, I'd eat every bite."
Well, she was understandably insulted, and now wanted to know what her husband was going to do about it.
The husband just sat there, watching football on TV, and grunted.
The wife became hysterical, and insisted on knowing why he didn't go down to the shop and kick the shit out of the rude salesman.
"Well", the husband replied, "There are three reasons I won't punch that guy in the nose.
First of all, you shouldn't have even been shopping for shoes, since you have a whole closet full of them.
Secondly, you have no business going shopping with no panties on.
But most of all, I'm not going to fuck with anyone that can eat that much ice cream!"

A train hits a bus filled with Catholic school girls and they all perish. They are in heaven trying to enter the pearly gates when St. Peter asks the first girl, "Tiffany, have you ever had any contact with a male organ?"
She giggles and shyly replies, "Well, I once touched the head of one with the tip of my finger." Peter says, "Okay, dip the tip of your finger in the Holy Water and pass through the gate."
St. Peter asks the next girl the same question, Jennifer, have you ever had any contact with a male organ? The girl is a little reluctant but replies, "Well, once I fondled and stroked one." St. Peter says, "Okay, dip your whole hand in the Holy Water and pass through the gate. All of a sudden, there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls.
One girl is pushing her way to the front of the line. When she reaches the front, St. Peter says, "Reeva, What seems to be the rush?" The girl replies, "If I’m going to have to gargle that Holy Water, I want to do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it."
=====================================================================================

A young woman had been taking golf lessons. She had just started playing her first round of golf when she suffered a bee sting. Her pain was so intense that she decided to return to the clubhouse for help and to complain.
Her golf pro saw her come into the clubhouse and asked, "Why are you back in so early ?"
"I was stung by a bee", she said.
"Where?" he asked.
"Between the first and second hole", she replied.
He nodded knowingly and said, "Then your stance is too wide."

A masked man goes into a sperm bank, points a gun at the woman behind the counter, and says, "Open the safe."
She says, "This isn't a real bank, it's a sperm bank."
He says, "Open the safe or I'll shoot."
She opens the safe, and he says, "Now take one of the bottles and drink it."
After she opens the bottle and drinks it, he takes off his mask and the woman realizes the robber is her husband.
He says, "Now you see? It's not so difficult, is it?"

Super Market mistake
This guy is in line at the Super Market when he notices a hot blonde
behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.

He is stunned that such a hottie would be waving to him, and although
familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says "sorry do you know me?"

She replies "I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of
one of my children!"

His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful,
"Christ!" he says "are you that stripper at my bachelor party that I had on the pool table in front of all my friends, while your partner whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my ass?"

"No" she replies, "I'm your son's English Teacher"
======================================================================================

A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer.

His friend says: “Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man.”

The man then replies: “Yeah, well we were married 35 years.”

 

Birds and Bees
A father asks his 10-year-old son if he knows about the birds and the bees.

"I don't want to know!" the child says, bursting into tears. "Promise me you won't tell me!"

Confused, the father asks what's wrong.

"Oh, dad," the boy sobs. "When I was six, I got the 'There's no Santa speech'. At seven, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech. When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no tooth fairy' speech.

"If you're going to tell me that grown ups don't really get laid, I'll have nothing left to live for!" 
=======================================================

 

The Bonny~N~Clyde Mix Drink
11:13PM on October 14, 2008

Ok for those of you who were able to catch the meatball making live show we did tonight (10/14/08) and thank you to those that did stop by  you got more than just a recipe didnt ya  
Plus not only did you get to see Bonny in "action" you also got the see the first time orginal Bonny N Clyde drink (Invented by Clyde for Bonny)made so below is the recipe for that the meatball recipe will be in a new blog sometime this week.
Thanks again for all that joined us!
Ciao
Clyde

The Bonny~n~Clyde Drink

In a 20 oz. glass add ice (crushed or whole) then add:

1 oz. Vodka
1 ½ oz Rum (Myers Preferably)
½ oz Jagermeister
1 ½ Tsp. pure vanilla extract
Top off with orange juice

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Wonton Soup Was A Hit!!!
10:53PM on September 30, 2008

For those of you that saw the live show today via the BonnynClyde Rude page the soup turned out fantastic Bonny thought there was a bit to much ginger but that can always be compenstaed for acordint to your taste as with all recipes add or subtract what you like noting is written in stone when it comes to cooking:
Enjoy and if you make it please let us know what you thought of it.


Ingredients:
For the Wontons:
1 pound ground pork
3 minced green onions
3 cloves crushed garlic
1 1/2 tbl fresh grated ginger or puree
1 tbl soy sauce
1 tsp fish sauce
1 tbl dry white wine
1 tsp hot sauce (optional)
1/4 tsp sesame oil
square wonton wrappers

For the broth
1 1/2 quarts chicken stock or broth
4 oz sliced fresh shiitake mushrooms
sliced bok choy (or any other veggies!)
green onion tops to garnish

Saute mushrooms in a small amount of oil add broth bring to a boil and add bok choy and wontons reduce to a simmer and cook for appox 10 minutes
Note: according to your taste, you can add more ginger, onion, soy, hot pepper, cilantro, lime, lemongrass, etc. to customize this broth.

Mushroom Sauce Recipe
9:40AM on September 29, 2008

I enjoy cooking and enjoy sharing some of my recipes that I think you might enjoy so if you are a mushroom lover this sauce is a knock out!!!