My Blog :: Just stuff that is on my mind in relation to adult topics

Sex Before Marriage
8:11PM on March 17, 2010

Some time ago I had a conversation with a co-worker about whether or not I would want to hold off on sex with someone I'm dating before I marry them and it is something I spent a lot of time thinking about. When it comes down to it, I'd have to say no. While I admit that while love is important in deciding who you spend forever with, all the love in the world won't keep a marriage together, if they aren't compatible. The marriage just won't last and will end the moment passion is gone.

Personality compatibility is very important and is one of the main factors I look for in women I would consider marriage material. But this blog wouldn't be here if I was going to go into personality compatibility. Besides I've beaten that dead horse and cremated it in my other blogs. That just leaves sexual compatibility.

To be completely honest, I don't feel comfortable with the idea of taking my vows without knowing if the person that I'm marrying will be willing to satisfy specific needs and whether or not the person with whom I'm entering a union, will ask things of me that I'm just not willing to perform in the bedroom. For an example, I'm not exactly sure I could get married to someone who gets turned off by the idea of performing oral. It would be too late to find this out after getting married, especially if it is to remain a monogamous marriage. Also there is a question of whether one partner is able to keep up with the other partner's libido. If one wants it more than the other, it's just simply not going to work either. What if one partner has an open relationship as a requirement and the other completely hates the idea of an open marriage? There are various other scenarios I can think of and it seems to me that the only endings possible are that one or both partners will try to seek happiness outside of the marriage or the union will collapse. And possibly both.

Besides there are so many things I need to learn about myself before I can say 'I do' with absolute confidence and sincerity. I need to know whether or not I can be happy in a monogamous relationship or if I require something more flexible. I need to know what my personal limits are. I need to know if whether or not the idea of something is more of a turn on to me than the actual execution. Most of all, I need to know if I'll be comfortable with the person I am after everything is said and done. And if either of us is forced to look outside of the marriage, or to keep up a facade in order to keep the marriage together, I won't be. 

Dominant, submissive, and Fiery
11:55PM on July 25, 2009

I am a switch. Sexually, I have significant leanings towards dominant. I've tried being submissive a few times in cam shows and found the experiences felt incredibly empty unless I submit to someone who I've developed a bond with beforehand. As a result, the list of people I would allow myself to submit to can be counted on a single hand of a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle.

I love the feeling of control you get from being a dominant. It's hard to describe the rush I get from taking charge of a situation. Another aspect that turns me on about it is the trust that a submissive puts in the hands of a dominant. Trust that the dominant has their best interests at heart. Trust that the dominant will respect their limits and never intentionally give them more than they can handle from both the psychological and physical level. Perhaps that's one of the reasons I have trouble with being submissive. I don't trust easily. Because of my trouble with giving my trust, I find myself being careful not to abuse the trust of others as well.

I'm not always in the mood for a submissive even in shows where I'd rather not be submissive myself. Sometimes I get so turned on by a woman calling me a mother fucker and shouting for me to 'fuck her harder' as I swear back at her in response and telling her to 'take my mother fuckin dick' as I talk about grabbing her hair as we go back and forth with mutual sexual aggressiveness. As it seems that it's not quite submissive yet not quite dominant either, I'd like to call this type of woman fiery. Hmmm could this type of play be called mutual humiliation? I dunno.

Then again, I could be wrong about things. My actual experience with these things isn't vast and I admit that my knowledge has the possibility of being flawed.

Passion
5:33PM on June 12, 2009

In my last entry I talked about what turns me on. Among those things I talked about passion being one of them. I've recently thought about why passion in particular turned me on so much. Maybe I shouldn't play my own psychiatrist, but I thought it was an interesting topic.

People who are close to me know that for the most part I'm relatively low key when it comes to my emotions and that I usually keep a tight rein on my emotions. It was thinking about my emotions and my control of them that made me wonder if I'm turned on by passion because deep inside I want someone to bring out a spark from within me. To make me feel with the same amount of intensity that they are sending towards me.

I would continue with this topic but I have to head out. Maybe more to come

What turns me on
11:54PM on January 11, 2009

Just the other day while I was looking at a video and just thought about things that turn me on. And I came to a few realizations. There is no specific body type that turns me on the most(ie. petite, bbw, toned) it usually ends up being based on whims though any of those catagories in extremes end up being a turn off(ie. thin to the point where there are no curves, big bodies beyond a specific point where it's no longer considered curvy, and females with bulky body builder physiques). For some reason I have a thing for red heads a fact that my friends have made it a point to tease me about.

The thing that I seem to feed off the most is when there's passion. When I see a woman, it turns me on to see the appearance of desire, a look of hunger in her eyes. I love seeing when a woman kisses her lover (be it male or female) and she presses her lips to theirs as if their sex is food and they are afraid that if their lips part before they are done that they shall starve to death. When I see a woman being penetrated, I get lifted when I see her thrusting back no matter the position as if their life depended on it and as if they were determined to wring every last drop of pleasure out of the act they could.

Communication Between Customer and Cam Mistresses
4:08AM on November 15, 2008

Ok. I have too many damn blogs and that was the reason I haven't used this until recently however this was the only place I could think of to put this since I needed to get this off my chest however the person who I wish I could communicate this to has given me a reason to doubt their receptiveness to my thoughts. Partially my fault I admit because of my horrible response born out of shock and anger but we'll get into that later.

Lots of cam mistresses stress the importance of a customer communicating their needs clearly and openly in order for them to best provide for them. I would like to put forth that it's just as important that a cam mistress communicate their own needs and preferences as clearly as possible so that a customer can be good customer or find some one else more suited to their needs. Cam sex like the actual physical act of sex requires communication to make it the best possible experience for all involved.

I met up with cam mistress and at first things were cool. She did awesome shows and it was fun talking afterwards. After awhile she began to start avoiding doing shows with me. Even getting to the point where she lied about having a period to just to end the show. Sometime later that same evening, I saw she was doing shows again. I'm not stupid and I knew something was up. Eventually she comes out and says that the problem was that I had too much stamina for her and didn't cum soon enough.

This was a surprise to me but when think back on things I can see she was trying to tell me that but it was in indirect ways. She say it was unfair for her to be having so much fun when I haven't came yet or her asking to cum with her. But it wasn't until she said she couldn't keep going like I could and having to wait for me was not enjoyable for her that I realized what was going on. I'm used to women cumming at least twice before I do. I've even had few webcam mistresses beg me to do more shows with them. Keeping my stamina up was just something I had gotten used to. There have been cases where I've come in armed with the knowledge that a webcam mistress doesn't want someone who lasts as long and I've developed a workaround by jerking off beforehand so I didn't have as long to go before I busted.

However because I was not in a right state of mind when I was suddenly hit with this info, I didn't do enough listening to her at this point. She was trying to recommend webcam mistresses who could last as long as I could and I was out to prove that I could cum as quickly as I needed to. Needless to say, it didn't end well. I can definitely admit my faults and fallacies.

It wasn't until after she clearly presented the problem that I was able to come up with a solution. Soon after, I discovered that if I put myself in a certain state of mind I can not only cum quickly but also cum twice in a fairly short amount of time. However this solution may never see usage because of both her frustration at my inability to see where the problem was until it was too late and my frustration at the deception used to avoid shows with me stood in the way of salvaging what could've been a beautiful customer/cam mistress relationship. I ask for cam mistresses to be clear about their needs not only for the sake of customers who might not fit you so they can find someone one who does fit them and for the sake of the customers who are willing to work with you so that all can walk away from the experience happy.