Still getting back to good
10:53AM on May 22, 2009
 Hiya rude family, just wanted to give those of u interested a lil update on wht has been goin on with me lately. Last month or so Id been trying to pull myself out of an emotional hole at times,and had been going thru alot of umpleasentries as Im sure alot of u have been as well. I recently lost my mother, and was going thru feelings of guilt for being so far away from my family in their times of need and dealing with financial woes. Well I was almost all better with that and then I lost one of the most wonderful men Ive ever met without really knowing why. Well thts not entirely true he told me why and I didnt believe him LOL He was having a bit of difficulty with dealing with my bisexuality and the thought of loosing me to a woman entirely.
Those who know me know how stubborn I can be, and I just wasnt ready to accept that we were not meant for oneanother, uve seen us online do we not look like a good match lol I sent him a one line email the other day letting him know His company was missed and actually got a response that stated he was missing me as well. We decided to talk to oneanother and during the conversation I was able to explain to him that I was content with him in every way and that I truely did want to be with him. Id told him in the beginning of our relationship that I didnt know that I could be with a man forever ,and that is wht he was going on. He didnt want to be fully into me and a yr or so later have me come to him saying Id met a woman I would be leaving him for. I explained that was when wed frist begun dating and really before Id gotten emotionally involved with him, etc. So we have plans to meet ths weekend and discuss if there is a possiblity that we can work things out together, I m pretty sure we can, as he confessed that I was the best gf hes ever had and while tryin to date others kept finding his thoughts back with me. I was feelin the same Im sorry but guys sometimes yall dont know how to act LOL I went on a few dates and was soo discouraged and missing the man that Id grown to love so lets hope I can trick him into taking me back LOL Even if we dont I will still be a hell of a lot better knowing the reasons why, before Id thought he was lyin about the bisexual thing and that I was just a horrid partner and he didnt want to tell me how silly is that? :( Ok im off to get started for the day wooohooo have a great weekend all and stop by for a cht sometime, Ill be getting back into my live house chat now that im feeling batter.
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