My Blog :: Hey Rude family........... not doing much this week....so beat from traveling the last 2 weeks and hubby says I need to take a break. He brought me breakfast in bed this morning and I am chilling in my bed room watching some corny movie on my 70 inch HD tv....This is the life.

Don-N-Lisa impostors??? WOW
2:22PM on February 05, 2010

Don-N-Lisa impostors is "Don and Lisa" on that other site...
Impostor: One who engages in deception under an assumed name or identity.
I thought by Lisa and I staying off these rude gossip sites would rid us of the problems going on on RUDE. BBBBOOOOOOYYYYYYY were we so wrong!!! It was just brought to our attention that we were on that other site showing our ass under the name "Don and Lisa" WOW!!! I don't know where to start with this one.......but I will like to start off first by say that Don and Lisa on this other site IT IS NOT US PERIOD. For instance, we always write and go by Don-N-Lisa never "Don and Lisa" Also if you look at the way we speak in our blogs and our write ups to our videos on RUDE......you would realize that we have a totally different style of writing than our impostors on that other site. So now the "Don and Lisa" impostors have started beefs with us with allot of good producers on rude, people that we have no problems with......Hell we don't even know them to have a problem with them. So where do we go from here. Let me start off by saying we have no problem with anyone that we met on rude. Going through the archive on that other site "the impostors" have been acting like we were all that and going on allot of people for no dam reason. After reading all the post that we supposedly made we felt bad like we need to apologize to everyone the we spoke bad about, hell we would have been mad at us too....lol. We can't apologize for things that we did not say, but this shit has been going on for the last 3 months, so we can apologize for not catching this faster, especially after 2 people warned us that this could be happening to keep the drama on rude going, but we did not believe that people would stoop that low just to keep there site going. So where do we go from here...... Anybody that feel they have a problem with us do to this site......... Please feel free to contact us via RUDE EMAIL and we are willing to clear this up...ANYBODY that wants to get to know the real us contact us.... We will be going on a one week campaign to clear this situation after that we will be focused on what we do.....give you good content to perv on, because thats what we do. We would love to get along with everyone on this site......hell we try to.......But of course that will not be possible, but if we make a conscious effort and fall short at least we tried. We really urge people to stay off these gossip site because they are very deceptive and all they do is cause allot of unnecessary problems. And lastly is you feel the need to frequent these sites take what you read with a grain of salt because these site are "Drama Driven" and without drama they would be no more. Like we said this has been going on for the last 3 months and we had NO PART OF IT!!! Unfortunately there is nothing that we can do to stop this, for those that believe us its all good no problems, for those that don't............. at this point......Fuck it......it is what it is.
LOVE to all my Rudians....
Don-N-Lisa-4U

Click Those Stars
3:26AM on December 30, 2009

What is so hard about clicking stars??It's free isn't it? I visit live shows and people's live houses and you have some individual who refuse to click stars...It as if it is costing them to do so....No matter how much you say click my stars, they will sit there like don't hear you...By clicking stars, many of us are rated here and it does count....It doesn't cost you anything..So the next time you stop by someone's live show or their live house, please be sure to click their stars

Tiger Can't Catch A Break
3:19AM on December 29, 2009

Drama Free Perv Zone...Networking With Other Members
2:30PM on December 12, 2009

I am sitting here scratching my head...Some people have forgotten the purpose Rude was set up for...Don, I and several members created a network group called "I.C" which stands for Inner Circle...A Drama Free Circle of people that network who are trying to bring the state of perving that most of the members here are used to back to Rude...It is a state of mind..It is not a clique or a gang,  which some people who exude drama or negativity here would like you to believe...Let me explain this and then we are moving forward with our business which is putting out the best videos we can, the best collaborations, the best live shows and getting ready to attend Vegas next month for the AVN....The reason the "I.C.Network" was created  because a group of us were just tired of the ongoing drama here brought to Rude and to bring the "Drama Free Perv Zone" back...No we are not trying to control what other people do by any means but just trying to create a drama free zone for nothing but perving which Rude was set up for in the first place...One thing you will not find us doing is doing live shows to put anyone down...If it's not positive we are not going to support it period...We are here to perv and not here to hear someone take cheap shots at anyone in their shows...How you perv is how you perv and we are not going to tell you whats the right way to perv is...What gets you off or what works for you may not work for us but we are not going to knock it and no one else should....People concern themselves with the wrong things..Whether Don and I are swingers should not make a difference...We have been swinging for years and will continue to do so for as long  as we like.....We have been in the Adult Industry for over 5 years...We have 5 websites that we owned and operated...So we do have a life outside of Rude...But we just love the interaction we have with other members here and that's what keeps us here...There are many members here that are on the same level as we are  and are here for the same reasons...Maximizing our earning potential, perving to other members content and networking with each other...People are taking way too much time out of their day to make us more important that what we are but thanks for the traffic to our page and of course our websites..We have introduced a lot of people to Rude and will continue to do so....We also have a lot of events coming in the New Year which we will broadcast here on Rude...So as you see our plate is already full with opportunities and obligations...So to deal with beefs or negative things other people are saying is not on our plate and therefore will not be dealt with because it is not of any importance to us...We all got haters and will continue to have them but they only serve one purpose to us...They motivate us to do better and put out more!!!! We will continue to put out quality videos and do great live shows....We will not do anything less than that because we don't know anything other than that..So if anyone on Rude would like to network with us, feel free to hit us by Rude Mail.....Everyone have a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Why Am I Married??
8:11AM on November 22, 2009

You have choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead. __________

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'

'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man.' __________

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds:

'Husband Wanted'.

Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.' __________

When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. __________

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished. __________

A little boy asked his father,

'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?'

Father replied, I don't know son, I'm still paying.' __________

A young son asked, 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?'

Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son.' __________

Then there was a woman who said,

'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, it was too late.' __________

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. __________

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say - talk in your sleep. __________

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all. __________

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel!'

Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive.' __________

Different Types Of Sex
6:53AM on November 05, 2009

SOCIAL SECURITY SEX

Two men were talking. "So, how's your sex life?"

"Oh, nothing special. I'm having Social Security sex."

"Social Security sex?"

"Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!"


LOUD SEX

A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes, he lets out this ear splitting yell."


"My dear," the shrink said, "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is."

"The problem is," she complained, "it wakes me up!"


QUIET SEX

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife during a recent lovemaking session, "How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?"

She glanced at him casually and replied, "You're never home!"


CONFOUNDED SEX

A man was in a terrible accident, and his "manhood" was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for "small, $6,500 for "medium, $14,000 for "large."

The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife before he made any decision. The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options. The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.


"Well, what have the two of you decided?" asked the doctor.


The man answered, "She'd rather remodel the kitchen."


WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary.
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: 'Here Lies My Wife-Cold As Ever'."
"Yeah," she replies, "when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.'"

WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX

My husband came home with a tube of K-Y jelly and said, "This will make you happy tonight."

He was right.
When he went out of the bedroom, I squirted it all over the doorknobs.
He couldn't get back in.


ELDERLY SEX

One night an 87 year old woman came home from Bingo to find her 92 year old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony of their 20th floor "assisted living apartment" .. Killing him instantly.


Brought before the court on charge of murder, the judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
She began coolly, "Yes, your honour, I figured that at 92, if he could have sex .. He could fly."

Ladies When We Get Old, I Guess We Are...
5:32PM on November 04, 2009

 ..Looking for these qualifications

A lonely widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She put an ad in the local paper that read:
HUSBAND WANTED:
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP (70's),
MUST NOT BEAT ME,
MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON ME &
MUST STILL BE GOOD IN BED!!!!!
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN PERSON.
On the second day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a grey-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

The old woman said, 'You're not really asking me to consider you, are you? Just look at you...you have no legs!
The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot run around on you!'
She snorted. 'You don't have any arms either!'
Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I can never beat you!'
She raised an eyebrow and asked, 'Are you still good in bed???'

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said, 'Rang the doorbell didn't I?'

What Would Men Do If They Had A Vagina For A Day
2:54PM on November 02, 2009

10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.

9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.

8. See if they could finally do the splits.

7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball 20 feet.

6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.

5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE closing time.

4. Have consecutive multiple orgasms and still be ready for more without sleeping first.

3. Go to the gynecologist for a pelvic exam and ask to have it recorded on video.

2. Sit on the edge of the bed and pray for breasts too.

1. Finally find that damned G-spot

Muah

Lisa

What Would Women Do If They Had A Penis For A Day
8:58AM on November 02, 2009

10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.

9. Get a blow job.

8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.

7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.

6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.

5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging orgasm.

4. Touch yourself in public without thought as to how improper it may seem.

3. Jump up and down naked with an erection to see if it feels as funny as it looks.

2. Understand the scientific reason for the light refraction which occurs between a man's eyes and the ruler situated next to his member which causes two inches to be added to the final measurement.

1. Repeat number 9......
Anyone have any more?

Sperm Bank Robbery
1:52PM on November 01, 2009

A man wearing a balaclava bursts into a sperm bank with a shot gun. "Open the fucking safe!" he yells at the girl behind the counter. "But we're not a real bank" replies the girl. "This is a sperm bank, we don't hold money". "Don't argue just open the safe or I'll blow your fucking head off!" She obliges and opens the safe door.

"Take one of the bottles and drink it!"

"But it's full of sperm" the girl replies nervously.

"Don't argue, just drink it" he says. She prises off the cap and gulps it down.

"Take out another one and drink it too!" he demands. The girl drinks another one. Suddenly the guy pulls off the balaclava and to the girl's amazement it's her husband.......

"Not that fucking difficult is it?" he says

**Dedicated to all my ladies**(lol)

Muah

Lisa

17 Ways Women Fail In Bed
1:30PM on November 01, 2009

1. MILKING IT: When stroking a guy's dick don't grab it like a bus rail and start jerking it like you were milking a cow. Don't use the love sword as if it's a piece of gym equipment to strengthen the forearms. The male organ is a thing of wonder and beauty, and should be awed, worshipped and held tenderly at all times. The sensitive part is at the top (where your face should be), not two-thirds of the way down.

2. ROBOTS: When sucking a guy's dick don't just get on the end of the thing and jam your head back and forward. It's a beautiful instrument; it should be caressed, inspected, kissed and licked from every possible angle.

3. SILENT FRIGHT: If you've come and cannot be coerced to scream to show your appreciation, at least make some sort of sign to inform the guy that he's done his duty and can blow his biscuits whenever he wants.

4. NO LAUGHING MATTER: Don't laugh if your creative male lover gets carried away and says things like, "I want to rinse your mouth with my fresh, white love potion." Laughter at any aspect of the male performance will not enhance it. Just be grateful you've got a guy who can speak in whole sentences.

5. CLOSING UP: If a man is willing to take the trouble to come on your face, don't close your eyes. He wants you to share this ecstatic moment of joyful union and love with him. Semen is not likely to cause permanent blindness in most cases - but this is a risk you should be prepared to take for his happiness.

6. POOR PRESENTATION: Presentation is all important. Don't wait to be asked to get it doggy-style. Roll over and present. You know you love it.

7. HANGING AROUND: When he is done, you should not kiss and cuddle, he does not want to touch you. You should leave the bed and leave him in peace. If you are a one-night stand you should leave the premises with out thieving anything or asking for a phone number. His work is done.

8. BEING SHY: Always offer the Hershey Highway. You know you love It. If you don't like it that much, still offer it as you can quite easily play with yourself as he rams away.

9. BEING A DRIP: You always have tissues in your bag, use them to clean his sheets and any ball bag drippage if you have misbehaved and not swallowed everything.

10. CLOCK-WATCHING: Never, ever, ever, ever even think of saying: "Are you going to come soon." If you're doing a blowie, you'd have to take your mouth off to utter the question. If you're giving a hand-job, you should have gone to the gym to work your biceps. If he's shagging you and takes more than 10 minutes you should be grateful. This is not a time trial but a blissful act of union between two sexually aware and gifted human beings.

11. FISHING FOR COMPLIMENTS: Don't ask him if you're the best lover he's ever had most men have had so many sexual partners that it is unlikely that you are. Please don't ask a man to lie about such an important thing.

12. PLAYING DEAD: Don't just lie there, do something. Good sex is not a spectator sport and it helps if both parties move around a bit. I know you expect the men to do all the hard and skillful work. We don't mind that and we're blessed with the equipment and know-how to do it but at least put some effort into the act to show your appreciation.

13. BEING POSSESSIVE: If you are lucky to have an imaginative lover who can satisfy two women at a time don't sneer at or reject his exciting suggestion that one of your friends joins you to make up a threesome. If he's a real man he's probably shagging her anyway. Plus you might learn something from her to keep your man really happy.

14. NOT KEEPING YOUR HAIR ON: Don't shave all your pubic hair off. It makes your snatch look like a piece of poultry past its sell-by date. At best, it looks like the snatch of a ten-year-old. If you want to trim, go for a nice sexy racing stripe in the manner favored by the Playboy models that your man would rather be shagging.

15. SPITTING IT OUT: When a man has gone to so much trouble to ejaculate and get his aim right into your mouth, it is rude to spit it out without savoring taste and gluey texture. You should play with semen like a block of Hubba Bubba, blowing bubbles, chewing and throwing from side to side. A line like "I love it when you come in my mouth" makes for a happy finale to fun and games.

16. BEING UNGRATEFUL: Never forget to thank a man for all the effort and energy he has expended on making love to you - especially if a)sex has lasted more than five minutes and/or b)you managed to achieve an orgasm. A man's role in sex is far more demanding than a woman's so it is always nice when one's prowess is appreciated.

17. SEEKING FAVORS: Never contemplate taking advantage of your man's warm after-sex glow to seek favors or make requests. As he drops off into well-deserved slumber, resist the urge to ask, "Do you think I should buy that dress, skirt, sofa, Mercedes, country cottage?" There is a name for the practice of mixing sex with material gain - prostitution.

Just my.02

Lisa Rivera

Thanks For All That Came Out
8:37PM on October 26, 2009

My Husband, Don set out on an adventure this past weekend when he decided to meet up with Miss Pervette69 in Philadelphia....Boy oh boy do I wish I had came along for the ride.I was out of town this past weekend so I was unable to attend...I went to sleep and awoke to those pervs in the live house going full swing at 7:30 in the morning....I am like WTF!!! Well put it this way..Hubby didn't get any sleep until about 4 pm on Sunday..And for all those who visit Miss Pervette's live house noticed that they were knock the hell out too...He was so happy he met up with her...The visit was a positive one and a long lasting friendship has been formed...I will be doing some traveling here in a week or so and will probably meet up with some of you here on Rude....Can't wait to perv out with you...

Check out my wish list........
5:12PM on October 05, 2009

Hey Guys........
I just set up my wish list. Looking for some new things to put in my new videos so I can keep them fresh for you. Any gifts sent to me will be used in my videos.........group shows and my live house. Thank you in advance
oxox
Lisa